Now, the Star-Belly Sneetches
Had bellies with stars.
The Plain -Belly Sneetches had none upon thars.
The Stars were a sign of riches and wealth,
But were really so small,
You might think such a thing wouldn't matter at all.
But, because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches
Would brag, "We're the freest Sneetches walking the beaches".
With snoots in the air, they would sniff and they'd snort
"Jobs! They are for you Plain-Belly sort!"
And whenever they met some, when they were out walking,
They'd hike right on past them without even talking.
When the Star-Belly Sneetches had frankfurter roasts
Or picnics or parties or marshmallow toasts,
The Plain-Belly Sneetches never had time,
For they worked a job to get their next dime.
The Plain-Belly Sneetches longed for the day,
When they wouldn't have to work for their pay.
Then ONE day, it seems...while the Plain-Belly Sneetches
Were moping and doping alone thinking of the beaches,
Just sitting there wishing their bellies had stars...
A stranger zipped up in the grandest of cars!
"My friends," he announced in a voice clear and keen,
"My name is Sly-Dexter McMonkey McBean.
And I've heard of your troubles. I know of your DREAM.
I've heard you're unhappy.
But I can fix that. I'm the Fix-it-Up Chappie.
I've come here to help you. I have what you need.
It's called Quick-Star and it works with great speed.
And the products are one hundred per cent guaranteed!"
Then quickly, Sly-Dexter McMonkey McBean
Showed them his Quick-Star Dream Machine.
So he showed the Plain-Belly Sneetches
Their dream of walking the Beaches.
He made them dream of Stars,
Which one day would be thars,
And the money they'd have to buy Cadillac cars.
Sly-Dexter McMonkey McBean said "In just two to five for eight to ten
Stars surely will be thars"
"You want stars like a Star-Belly Sneetch...?
Just buy these tapes for six dollars each week!"
"Just pay me your money and hop right aboard!"
Everything to know, is on this white board.
Sly-Dexter showed them the great plan,
That would land their feet in the sand.
As well as the many great soaps,
Which would buy their huge boats.
"Now show your all Plain-Belly friends" said McBean
"My wonderful Quick-Star Dream Machine"
"Help your friends get Stars and you'll surely get yars"
After many long years, the Plain-Belly Sneetches
Were still not walking the beaches.
They did the two to five for eight to ten,
And still they did not have stars on thars
Then said Sly-Dexter McMonkey McBean,
"There is nothing more perfect than my Quick-star-dream Machine".
"You are not working hard enough!"
"Just have hope
it's all in the soap."
"If you aren't getting your stars,
Then it's the stinkin' in your thinkin' keeping you from yars"
"Buy more tapes,
Buy more books,
Attend all my functions" cried Sly-Dexter McMonkey McBean
So the Plain-Belly Sneetches paid their hard earned money,
Quick-Star Dream Machine.
After all, no price is too high to be a free Sneetch walking the beach.
All the rest of the year, while dreaming of the beaches,
The Fix-it-Up Chappie kept hitting-up the Sneetches.
Through the dream machine they raced round and round again,
Dreaming of their Quick-Stars every minute or two.
They bought tape of the week,
Book of the month,
And functions in far away places.
They kept paying the money.
They kept running through,
No one had a clue!
Then, when every last cent
Of their money was spent,
The Fix-it-Up Chappie packed up
And off he went.
And he laughed as he drove
In his great car up the beach,
"They will never learn.
No. You can't teach a Sneetch!"
"Silly Sneetches. The money is in hope,
Not selling the soap!"
As the sun set they could hear him say,
"PT Barnum was right.
Ya'll have a good night"