Author Topic: Attention Ron........ I can be a Jew (Read 4848 times)

Eyeball Chambers · « **on:** July 25, 2009, 02:43:29 PM »

Ron, i feel i am ready to be a Jew and i believe Judaism could benefit from my services.

If you are not looking for any new Jews right at the moment, that is fine, but if the oppourtunity arises, you now know that i am interested.

windsor88 · « **Reply #1 on:** July 25, 2009, 05:13:12 PM »

Ron,

If someone were to convert to jewdism are they considered second class from the authentic jews? Sort of how you cannot be a "made" man unless you are 100% Sicilian but you can be in the mafia without being 100%.

Obvious Gimmick · « **Reply #2 on:** July 25, 2009, 05:30:06 PM »

Quote from: windsor88 on July 25, 2009, 05:13:12 PM

Ron,

If someone were to convert to jewdism are they considered second class from the authentic jews? Sort of how you cannot be a "made" man unless you are 100% Sicilian but you can be in the mafia without being 100%.

I'm not Ron, but i can answer that. converts have the same rights as other Jews. the only exception is they cant marry in Israel unless they were converted by an orthodox rabbi. thats why most converts get married in Cyprus. This is ok with Israeli law.

it is actually forbidden by rabbinic law to treat converts differently

converts are every bit as Jewish as born Jews. Ruth was the grandmother of King David and she was a convert. there are many prominent converted Jews

Butterbean · « **Reply #3 on:** July 25, 2009, 05:37:17 PM »

airosol,
Aren't children of a Jewish mother considered fully Jewish in Israel?

Jews = teh cool

webcake · « **Reply #4 on:** July 25, 2009, 07:08:59 PM »

I'm like 1/10 Jewish.....will this help me in becomming a mod?

WillGrant · « **Reply #5 on:** July 25, 2009, 10:13:50 PM »

Quote from: RPF on July 25, 2009, 02:43:29 PM

Ron, i feel i am ready to be a Jew and i believe Judaism could benefit from my services.

If you are not looking for any new Jews right at the moment, that is fine, but if the oppourtunity arises, you now know that i am interested.

Would you be willing to mutilate your penis my son.

Obvious Gimmick · « **Reply #6 on:** July 25, 2009, 10:31:14 PM »

Quote from: STella on July 25, 2009, 05:37:17 PM

airosol,
Aren't children of a Jewish mother considered fully Jewish in Israel?

Jews = teh cool

yes, in all forms of Judaism if your mother was Jewish at the time of birth then that baby is Jewish. Not only in Israel, but all over world.
Reformed (and i think Reconstructionist) Judaism teach that if either parent is Jew then baby is a Jew. these are the more liberal branchs of Judaism.

There are no half Jews You were either born to a Jewish parent = youre a Jew
You converted to Judaism = youre a Jew and yoru offspring will be Jewish too

you might get some flack from the ultra conservatives about the whole 'my dad was jewish but my mom wasnt so your not really a jew' but those people are whack and there arent many of them left.

Eyeball Chambers · « **Reply #7 on:** July 26, 2009, 12:10:57 AM »

I can trace my roots back to the Vanderbilt family. Do I get any Jewish cred for that?

webcake · « **Reply #8 on:** July 26, 2009, 12:13:12 AM »

Quote from: RPF on July 26, 2009, 12:10:57 AM

I can trace my roots back to the Vanderbilt family. Do I get any Jewish cred for that?

Mozol Tov!

WillGrant · « **Reply #9 on:** July 26, 2009, 01:33:59 AM »

Quote from: RPF on July 26, 2009, 12:10:57 AM

I can trace my roots back to the Vanderbilt family. Do I get any Jewish cred for that?

No

kiwiol · « **Reply #10 on:** July 26, 2009, 03:27:56 AM »

Take this up with Mass04, who let it slip sometime ago that he's Ron's brother Abraham "Scooter" Avidan.

Reign Down · « **Reply #11 on:** July 26, 2009, 03:35:54 AM »

Quote from: RPF on July 26, 2009, 12:10:57 AM

I can trace my roots back to the Vanderbilt family. Do I get any Jewish cred for that?

Are you extremely tight with money?

ta ta

Eyeball Chambers · « **Reply #12 on:** July 26, 2009, 03:58:29 AM »

Quote from: Reign Down on July 26, 2009, 03:35:54 AM

Are you extremely tight with money?

ta ta

http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=280209.0

Reign Down · « **Reply #13 on:** July 26, 2009, 07:55:53 AM »

Quote from: RPF on July 26, 2009, 03:58:29 AM

http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=280209.0

Indeed it would seem you are a tight bastard!

How big is your nose?

ta ta

Eyeball Chambers · « **Reply #14 on:** July 26, 2009, 01:33:35 PM »

Quote from: Reign Down on July 26, 2009, 07:55:53 AM

Indeed it would seem you are a tight bastard!

How big is your nose?

ta ta

I got blonde hair and blue eyes, but my nose is rather large. Not bad looking, but big...

Reign Down · « **Reply #15 on:** July 27, 2009, 01:00:15 PM »

Well to me you are getting there for an honorary Jew.

I'll pm Ron about this.

ta ta

Fury · « **Reply #16 on:** July 27, 2009, 03:41:58 PM »

You should go the Kaballah route like all the celebrities.

G o a t b o y · « **Reply #17 on:** July 27, 2009, 07:19:30 PM »

So if I convert, does that mean I get automatic mod privileges on getbig?

Eyeball Chambers · « **Reply #18 on:** July 28, 2009, 09:20:42 PM »

Quote from: Reign Down on July 27, 2009, 01:00:15 PM

Well to me you are getting there for an honorary Jew.

I'll pm Ron about this.

ta ta

Thank you very kindly for the support and guidance, I can never fully repay you for your kindness!

Lord Humungous · « **Reply #19 on:** July 31, 2009, 07:47:29 AM »

I had a corned beef on jewish rye and a kosher pickle a few days ago. I then had a dump the size of Nebraska. Does this make either, me or my toilet Jewish?

Reign Down · « **Reply #20 on:** July 31, 2009, 08:31:32 AM »

Quote from: Lord Humungous on July 31, 2009, 07:47:29 AM

I had a corned beef on jewish rye and a kosher pickle a few days ago. I then had a dump the size of Nebraska. Does this make either, me or my toilet Jewish?

Neither, but your joke was like a toilet...shitty.

ta ta gimp.

Ron · « **Reply #21 on:** August 05, 2009, 05:20:15 PM »

We will work on you... it will take time... I will make some honorary cards up for you.

Eyeball Chambers · « **Reply #22 on:** August 06, 2009, 12:39:07 AM »

Quote from: Ron on August 05, 2009, 05:20:15 PM

We will work on you... it will take time... I will make some honorary cards up for you.

Ron, I am honored!