Before I answer this can you answer a few questions?
1. do you drink alcohol?..or take drugs?...if so, how much and how frequently?: Huge quanities. Mostly different benzo's like Xanax, SSRI and some beers 3 times per week.
2. do you have a mistrust or suspicion of others?: Yes.
3. do you have difficulty making friends?: Debussey has no friends 
4. do you dress weird or peculiarly?: Mostly jogging suits.
5. do you lie a lot?: Yes.
6. any recurring difficulties with the law?: No.
7. ever have thoughts of suicide?: 7 times.
8. do you believe you are better than others?: NO
9. do you feel inadequate?: Yes!
10. do you have a girlfriend?..if not when did you last have one?: Never been friends with a girl. Just said hi to some on the street.
11. do you have a preoccupation with order and /or cleanliness?: Showers about 1 per day.
12. can you tell us if you have any tendencies? (for instance you must set the alarm clock to ring at precisely 7:11 each day)
: Yes! Debussey scripts every day in the same routine unless an obstacle occurs. X hours of this, Y hours of that, all in its room.
13. is it your way or the highway?: No. Debussey want it to be, but people are taking advantage of it.
14. do you really care about people or people's feelings in general;?: Debussey tries too, but it does not always work.
well...first of all..the fact that you take Xanax means you have some type of anxiety disorder.....maybe panic attacks....and you need the Xanax to face the world.....the fact that you are on SSRI's means I was right when I said you have a personality disorder of some sort....probably some depression as well....
The personality disorder means you were born with a skewed view of the world which was exacerbated by your upbringing..your way of thinking seems foreign to others
this is why you have few or no friends....you wear jogging suits because you hate dressing formally and it's easy to put on when you want to go out to the store or for a walk to run errands....it's easy to slip on quickly since you often don't feel like dressing due to the depression.....you often don't feel like leaving your room as well..so it's easy to take off too without much effort since most of the time you probably walk around the house in your underwear or pajamas if you wear that....
you lie alot not because you're a bad guy but to escape reality which is pretty bleak for you (at least in your own mind)....this is also why you've had some thoughts of suicide....you wonder what it would be like to escape the reality of your life which is unexceptional..although your life is probably normal by most people's standards, you may be disappointed due to your feeling that you are smarter or as smart as everyone else so you can't understand why you are not as successful as those around you....you don't feel you are better than anyone else but you also feel the people around you are not better than you either....this has led to frustration on your part...and sometimes you probably lash out....you have feelings of inadequacy due to your having to survive on medication and possibly therapy while others around you do not...also not having a girlfriend plays into feelings of inadequacy..because you wonder "what's wrong with me"?
you probably don't have a girlffiend due to the feelings of anxiety and inadequacy you feel...guys always feel inadequate when they don't have sexual contact.....due to the medication you take, it may interfere with your abiility to maintain erection....or it may inhibit your sex drive somewhat..which is another reason why you don't take a chance with women....you don't want to risk losing your erection with a woman so you probably masturbate to relieve tension.....
showering once a day is cool...but you do say you like order and are obsessive about cleanliness which could indicate that you are neurotic....and you admit you play out your day like a script....which is part of the neurosis..you want every day to be the same or else you are afraid that if you break routine, something bad will happen....like it's bad Karma or something..this could be an indication of obsessive-compulsive disorder......if so, this explains why you may not have a job or find it difficult to keep one...your day is like a ritual....and this must be continued in order for you to feel comfortable with yourself and the world
you want to be in control and to do things your way but you feel "people" won't let you...that they are constantly putting obstacles in your way to prevent you from getting what you want....this is why you may lash out at times...you don't really mean it because you want to get along with people and be nice to them but when it seems they are not paying attention to your needs, you then say things you don't mean to them...or you really do mean it but wish later you hadn't said it....
you do have a high IQ and you are very intelligent....you obviously read alot and keep up with the news....but your view of the world comes mostly from what you have read, not from what you have experienced...and what you have experienced has been in a limited world....you probably haven't traveled a whole lot...sometimes the Xanax causes mood swings which could explain why in some of your posts you appear quite rational and in others you seem to be a raving lunatic...I think u play up the lunatic side of yourself in your posts to get a laugh.... and you tend to refer to yourself in the third person like you are splitting off your personality from the rest of yourself...like you are examining yourself from a third person point of view.....you often feel like you are outside yourself and are observing yourself....you identify with the actor Bussey, because you feel he acts the way you do or the way you would like to, so you express yourself through his persona
all in all..the diagnosis is
Personality Disorder
Anxiety Disorder with Depressive Symptoms
Neurosis with Symptoms of Phobia to Germs
Obsessive -Compulsion Disorder
Disassociative Disorder
again, this assumes you are truly using your true personality in your posts...what am I right about and what am I wrong about??..you can e-mail me personally if you don't want to post here
