Darren,i see you`re a fan of Richard Littlejohn,you should read his book "To hell in a handcart",its as though it was wrote from this years news articles,instead of years ago.Here`s todays bit about the police.
When it was reported that three soppy policewomen in Sheffield had kitted themselves out in full burqas and gone shopping, so they could empathise with fundamentalist Muslims, I thought I'd heard it all. I should have known better.
For years, this column has ridiculed the lunatic obsession of the police with the 'diversity' agenda. But this barking stunt was the most absurd example yet.
It came only a week after we learned that there is now a Pagan Police Association, to stand alongside the Gay Police Association, the Black Police Association and a raft of other special interest pressure groups.
As I wrote at the time, police officers should be defined by the uniform they wear, not the colour of their skin, their sexual inclination or their religious beliefs.
The politics of identity is anathema to the smooth running of any organisation, serving only to foster a culture of division, grievance, permanent unrest and opportunism.
Every time I bring you one of these stories, I wonder where it will all end. Now I discover that there's a National Trans Police Association, too.
According to its website: 'The NTPA exists primarily to provide support to serving and retired police officers, police staff and special constables with any gender identity issue, including, but not exclusively, Trans men, Trans women, people who identify as Transgender, androgyne or intersex, and people who cross dress.
'The NTPA further aims to provide support to all serving and retired police officers, police staff and special constables who are dealing with people with a gender identity issue, whether that person is a colleague, family member or a member of the public involved in a police matter.'
Note the 'but not exclusively'. You might have thought that any outfit encompassing transgendered, androgyny and intersexuals ( whatever the hell they are) had pretty much covered the waterfront.
The roll call of those eligible sounds like a contestant signing off after winning Ken Bruce's Pop-Master, rattling through a list of names before adding, breathlessly, 'and anyone else who knows me'.
The criteria is so widely drawn that, theoretically, it could also include centaurs, who are currently under-represented in the ranks of the Old Bill. They would be welcomed into the mounted branch and could cut costs by 50 per cent by saving on the need for both an officer and a horse.
If the legendary band Half Man, Half Biscuit ever decide to turn their backs on the rock and roll lifestyle, a whole new career in law enforcement awaits.
The NTPA made its public debut at the recent Sparkle 09 festival in Manchester's Gay Village, where it set up a mobile police station handing out leaflets and balloons. There are some very fetching photos on its website.
Curiously, the events coordinator for the NTPA is called Bernie Clifton. Could this be the same Bernie Clifton who made his name as a comedian by dressing up as an ostrich and charging around like a headless chicken? I'm assuming it's not him, but you never know.
Actually, if it is the same Bernie Clifton, he will probably soon have his own association for people who like to dress up as ostriches.
There appears to be no limit to the number of obscure subcategories the police can split themselves into.
The Trans Police Association is already recognised and supported by both the Association of Chief Police Officers and the National Policing Improvement Agency. An application for Home Office funding is sure to follow and is almost certain to be granted.
It can be only a matter of time before a transsexual officer sues for discrimination after being turned down for promotion or demands that the police funds his gender reassignment surgery.
No doubt I'll be accused of stirring up 'transphobic' hatred. For the record, I have no more objection to transvestites forming a club than I do to philatelic societies. But it should be done in their own time and not at public expense.
I acknowledge that some people have gender ishoos and are entitled to understanding. But the job of the police is to prevent crime, maintain public order and catch villains. Full stop.
Recruitment and promotion should be solely on the basis of ability, not race, religion, gender or sexual proclivity. Everyone ought to be treated equally. There is no place for officially-recognised, politically-motivated, single-issue lobby groups.
The time, money and effort wasted pandering to minorities with an exaggerated sense of entitlement is scandalous - especially when chief constables are whining they haven't got the resources to keep police stations open and put bobbies on the beat.
Burqas were barmy enough. And though I hesitate to tempt fate, at this rate it won't be long before a cross- dressing copper complains that his stockings and suspenders are chafing under his blue serge uniform and insists on being allowed to go on patrol in a leather mini-skirt and an Amy Winehouse wig.
Mind how you go.
