With all of the negative press surrounding hip-hop music, rappers often complain about the media taking their lyrics out of context, to make them seem more violent or misogynistic than they really are.
As a journalistic institution built on a foundation of honesty and integrity, we would never stoop to such lows. But take those lyrics out of context to make them sound gay? We're on it.
Eminem: "Don't Push Me"
The Lyric:
"Man I'm done saying that I'm done playing, Im'ma a start laying any of these motherfucking cocksuckers."
What He's Probably Saying:
"No joke, my patience is exhausted and now I'm gonna start shooting people."
What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Seriously, I'm gonna start having sex with dudes."
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50 Cent: "Gun Runners"
The Lyric:
Man on phone: "I got beef, I wanna see what you got, and if I like it I'll cop".
50 Cent: "Damn guy, you hot!"
What He's Probably Saying:
Man on phone: "I have a conflict, I'd like to see your guns, if I like them I'll buy."
50 Cent: "Damn man you got problems!"
What We Like To Think He's Saying:
Man on phone: "I'm well-endowed, I'd like to see if you are also, if you are we'll engage in sex."
50 Cent: "Damn, man. You're sexy!"
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Ice-T: "I Love Ladies"
The Lyric:
"But don't get me wrong, most fellas do rock."
What He's Probably Saying:
"Dudes are cool, but when it comes to sex, I love ladies."
What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Don't get me wrong, I will bang a guy, too."
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Jay-Z feat. Memphis Bleek: "Coming of Age"
The Lyric:
Jay-Z: "Hey fella, I been watchin' you clockin'"
MB: "Who me holding down this block it ain't nothing, you the man guy, now stop frontin'."
Jay-Z: "Ha ha! I like your style!"
MB: "Nah, I like YO style!"
Jay-Z: "Let's drive around awhile".
MB: "Cool, guy."
Jay-Z: "Here's a thou!"
What He's Probably Saying:
"I like you, you should sell crack for me. Here's a sign-on bonus!"
What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Hey fella, I've had my eye on you for awhile, I like how you look in those baggy
jeans. Let's go park somewhere and have sex. I'll even pay you!"_______________________________________
Nas: "One Love"
The Lyric:
"But I heard you blew a guy with a ox for the phone piece."
What He's Probably Saying:
"Hey, I heard you stabbed somebody because they wouldn't let you talk on the phone."
What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Hey, I heard you gave a dude with a pet ox a blow job so he'd let you use the phone."_____________________________________
Black Moon: "Ack Like U Want It"
The Lyric:
"I get paid to rip, step aside, Im'ma blow you."
What He's Probably Saying:
"I get paid to be awesome, now get out of my way before I shoot you."
What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Relax, I do this for a living, move a little to the left so I can give you oral sex."
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DJ Quik: "Dollaz + Sense"
The Lyric:
"Now, I never had my dick sucked by a man befo', but you gone be the first, you little trick-ass ho."
What He's Probably Saying:
"I'm so much of a badass, you're basically a woman in my presence, so I'm gonna make you blow me."
What We Like To Think He's Saying:
I've never done this before, you know, let a guy put my junk in his mouth. This is my first time. You little trick-ass ho.
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Black Rob: "Whoa!"
The Lyric:
"Plus I'm gettin' brain from this chick like whoa! Finger near a guy asshole like whoa!"
What He's Probably Saying:
"So this chick was blowing me right, next thing I know she starts putting her finger near my ass and I'm all like WHOA!!"
What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"So I'm in this room with a guy and his girlfriend, right? One thing leads to another, next thing I know, the chick is blowing me, I'm about to put my finger in dude's ass, and I'm like ... whoa! This is awesome!"
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50 Cent, Part 2: "Piggy Bank"
The Lyric:
"Yayo, bring the condoms, I'm in room 203."
What He's Probably Saying:
"Dude, bring me some condoms, I'm gonna nail this chick, I'm in room 203."
What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Dude, fuck it, let's have sex, bring condoms, I'm in room 203."________________________________________
2Pac: "If My Homie Calls"
The Lyric:
"Ever since you was a pee-wee, down by my knee with a wee-wee."
What He's Probably Saying:
"I've known you since you were knee-high to a cricket!"
What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"Ever since we were young, we've engaged in fellatio."
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50 Cent, Part 3: "Ryder Music"
The Lyric:
"I read somewhere I'm homophobic, shiiiiit. Go through the hood, there's mad niggas on my dick."
What He's Probably Saying:
"People call me homophobic, but it's not true. In fact, when I go back to my old neighborhood, all kinds of dudes are on my dick. Ha ha! See what I did there? On my dick. Homophobic. Get it?"
What We Like To Think He's Saying:
"I'm not homophobic, in fact, I still have sex with several guys from my old neighborhood."
