South Africa 2010

[#1 Klaus fan]

is this another one of  those wacky euro-asia ping pong tournaments?

Yes. Don't mind us (the rest of the world). 

[che]

Which one is the group of death?

IMHO , group G

[Figo]

Does it make it harder for them?

No, seeded teams are less likely to get another top team, and a better chance to progress, whereas an unseeded side such as Portugal, lands up in group of death, G.

[CalvinH]

No, seeded teams are less likely to get another top team, and a better chance to progress, whereas an unseeded side such as Portugal, lands up in group of death, G.

Thanks.

[PRIVATE RYAN]

Anyone need accommodation
in South Africa?

I will gladly rip you off
offer accommodation @ 200 euro's
a night. t&c apply (no homo's)

[TrapsMcLats]

watching soccer is more boring than watching a bodybuilding show

[PRIVATE RYAN]

watching soccer is more boring than watching a bodybuilding show

qft = quite fucking true? not sure, fng here

[nzmusclemonster]

AZZURI...BITCHES..

New Zealand will rape you 

[PRIVATE RYAN]

I think Spain will win.

Some guy on the radio
said this. I don't care
for gayball that much.

Gotta love the way it's
never the keepers fault
and he always points fingers.
Why does a goaly need gloves
anyway?

[Neptuno]

My dreams are with Spain again but this time could be true...

Anyway Spain plays football better than any other team. I only hope this could be the most important thing for winning this competition.

[Gino30]

my money is on spain this time

Obviously your first World Cup.

Spain have a history of being underachievers and choking

Get back to making some kebabs and stay away from the World Game......no one likes the turks....we just tolerate them

[Saxon]

Very cheap beer, European soccer fans and the south african police force....I predict a riot 

[PRIVATE RYAN]

Very cheap beer, European soccer fans and the south african police force....I predict a riot 

These questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner (great sense of humour!).

Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa ? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? ( UK )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres take lots of water...

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes...

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa ? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town , Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? ( USA )
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not...oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.

Q: Which di rection is north in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa ? ( France )
A: No, WE don 't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere where a significant number of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa ? ( Germany )
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round?
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can di spense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will probably still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

[PRIVATE RYAN]

Understanding South Africans - Tips for 2010

 

Braai
What is a braai? It is the first thing you will be invited to when you
visit South Africa . A braai is a backyard barbecue and it will take
place whatever the weather. So you will have to go even if it's
raining like mad. At a braai you will be introduced to a substance
known as mieliepap.

Ag
This one of the most useful South African words. Pronounced like the
"ach" in the German "achtung", it can be used to start a reply when
you are asked a tricky question, as in: "Ag, I don't know." Or a sense
of resignation:"Ag OK, I'll have some more mieliepap then." It can
stand alone too as a signal of irritation.


Donner
A rude word, it comes from the Afrikaans "donder" (thunder).
Pronounced "dorner", it means "beat up." A team member in your rugby
team can get donnered in a game, or your wife can donner you if you
come back from a braai at three in the morning.


Eina
Widely used by all language groups, this word, derived from the
Afrikaans, means "ouch." Pronounced "aynah". You can say it in
sympathy when you see your friend the day after he got donnered by his
wife.


Hey
Often used at the end of a sentence to emphasize the importance of
what has just been said, as in "You're only going to get donnered if
you come in late again, hey?" It can also stand alone as a question.
Instead of saying "excuse me?" or "pardon me?" when you have not heard
something directed at you, you can always say: "Hey?"


Izit?
This is another great word to use in conversations. Derived from the
two words "is" and "it", it can be used when you have nothing to
contribute if someone tells you something at a braai. For instance, if
someone would say: "The Russians will succeed in their bid for
capitalism once they adopt a work ethic and respect for private
ownership." It is quite appropriate to respond by saying: "Izit?"


Ja well no fine
This is another conversation fallback. Derived from the four words:
"yes", "well", "no" and fine", it roughly means "OK". If your bank
manager tells you your account is overdrawn, you can, with confidence,
say: "Jawelnofine."


Klap
Pronounced "klup" - an Afrikaans word meaning smack, whack or spank.
If you spend too much time in front of the TV during exam time, you
could end up getting a "klap" from your mother. In America , that is
called child abuse. In South Africa, it is called promoting education.
But to get "lekker geklap" is to get motherlessly drunk. To then be on
the receiving end of a snot klap is definitely not advised.

Lekker
An Afrikaans word meaning nice, this word is used by all language
groups to express approval. If you enjoyed a braai thoroughly, you can
say: "Now that was lekk-errrrrrr!" while drawing out the last
syllable.


Tackies
These are sneakers or running shoes. The word is also used to describe
automobile or truck tyres. "Fat tackies" are really wide tyres, as in:
"You've got lekker fat tackies on your Vôlla, hey?"


Dop
This word has two basic meanings, one good and one bad. First the
good: A dop is a drink, a cocktail, a sundowner, a noggin. When
invited for a dop, be careful! It could be one sedate drink or a
blast, depending on the company. Now the bad: To dop is to fail. If
you "dopped" standard two (Grade 4) more than once, you probably won't
be reading this.


Saamie
This is a sandwich. For generations, school-children have traded
"saamies" during lunch breaks. In South Africa you don't send your kid
to school with liver-polony saamies. They are impossible to trade!!


Bakkie
This word is pronounced "bucky" and can refer to a small truck or
pick-up. If a young man takes his "girl" (date) in a bakkie it could
be considered as a not so "lekker" form of transport because the seats
can't recline.


Howzit
This is a universal South African greeting, and you will hear this
word throughout the country. It is often accompanied with the word
"Yes!" as in: "Yes, howzit?". In which case you answer "No, fine."


Now now
In much of the outside world, this is a comforting phrase:"Now now,
it's really not so bad." But in South Africa, this phrase is used in
the following manner: "Just wait, I'll be there now now." It means "a
little after now".


Tune grief
To be tuned grief is to be aggravated, harassed. For example, if you
argue with somebody about a rugby game at a braai and the person had
too much dop (is a little "geklap"), he might easily get aggravated
and say.: "You're tuning me grief, hey!". To continue the argument
after this could be unwise and result in major tuning of grief..


Boet
This is an Afrikaans word meaning "brother" which is shared by all
language groups. Pronounced "boot" but shorter, as in"foot", it can
be applied to a brother or any person of the male sex. For instance a
father can call his son "boet" and friends can apply the term to each
other too. Sometimes the diminutive "boetie" is used. But don't use it
on someone you hardly know - it will be considered patronizing and could
lead to you getting a "lekker klap".


Pasop
From the Afrikaans phrase meaning "Watch Out!", this warning is used
and heeded by all language groups. As in: "The boss hasn't had his
coffee yet - so you better pasop, boet" Sometimes just the word
"pasop!" is enough without further explanation.Everyone knows it sets
out a line in the sand not to be crossed.


Skop, Skiet en donner
Literally "kick, shoot and thunder", this phrase is usedby many South
African speakers to describe action movies. A Clint Eastwood movie is
always a good choice if you're in the mood for of a lekker skop, skiet
en donner flick.


Vrot
Pronounced - "frot". A expressive word which means"rotten" or
"putrid" in Afrikaans, it is used by all language groups to describe
anything they really dislike. Most commonly intended to describe fruit
or vegetables whose shelf lives have long expired, but a pair of old
tackies (sneakers) worn a few years too long can be termed "vrot" by
some unfortunate folk who find themselves in the same vicinity as
the wearer. Also a rugby player who misses important kicks or tackles
can be said to have played a vrot game - opposite to a "lekker" game
(but not to his face). A movie was once reviewed with this headline:
"Slick Flick, Vrot Plot."


Rock up
To rock up is to just, sort of, arrive (called "gatecrash" in other
parts of the world). You don't make an appointment or tell anyone you
are coming - you just rock up. Friends can do that but you have to be
selective about it. For example, you can't just rock up for a job
interview.


Scale
To scale something is to steal it. A person who is "scaly" has a
doubtful character, is possibly a scumbag, and should rather be left
off the invitation list to your next braai.


Ja-nee
"Yes No" in English. Politics in South Africahas always been
associated with family arguments and in some cases even with physical
fights. It is believed that this expression originated with a family
member who didn't want to get a klap or get donnerred, so he just
every now and then muttered "ja-nee". Use it when you are required to
respond, but would rather not choose to agree or disagree.
 
 

[zwide]

Ryan thats funny man -

Its amazing some of the questions you get asked - in 2001 when I moved to the west people would ask if one could see lions walking on the streets -

Im like yeah if you want to made dinner ....

I asked one person if they know where Africa is and he said its right next to Jamaica ....

[Figo]

Zwide & Pvt ryan,

where you guys in RSA?

[PRIVATE RYAN]

I'm in Bloemfontein, I see
we are getting a few nice
games. France vs Buffoona
Buffoona and a semi.

I wanted to go watch
the US vs Spain in the
Confed Cup, but is was
like 5degrees outside so
I didn't go. Should've gone
though, the US whipped
Spain.

[Figo]

I'm in Bloemfontein, I see
we are getting a few nice
games. France vs Buffoona
Buffoona and a semi.

I wanted to go watch
the US vs Spain in the
Confed Cup, but is was
like 5degrees outside so
I didn't go. Should've gone
though, the US whipped
Spain.

I'm in CPT, went up to JHB for the USA V Italy, Brazil v Italy and Brazil v USA, was gona watch final as well, but it was another week away, sold my ticket.

It was flipin cold in Pretoria & Joburg. We're spoilt with the weather down here... 

All in all, not a badly organized tournament. Loftus was packed.

[Sam]

This is quality hahaha 

These questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner (great sense of humour!).

Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa ? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? ( UK )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres take lots of water...

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes...

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa ? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town , Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? ( USA )
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not...oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.

Q: Which di rection is north in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa ? ( France )
A: No, WE don 't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere where a significant number of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa ? ( Germany )
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round?
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can di spense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will probably still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

[Sam]

I think England have a really good chance next year.

[Figo]

Every single time England qualifies for a tournament, the english media says, yes, this time!

'66 was fixed up! Portugal were supposed to win...

But seriously, they have a great team on paper, the best since Italy '90, when they were great on paper too...

[zwide]

Zwide & Pvt ryan,

where you guys in RSA?

Im now in Canada .... winter is knocking .. Im getting ready to shovel snow ...

Origionally from Zimbabwe...

[rockyfortune]

Every single time England qualifies for a tournament, the english media says, yes, this time!

'66 was fixed up! Portugal were supposed to win...

But seriously, they have a great team on paper, the best since Italy '90, when they were great on paper too...

england was terrific in USA '94...

[Mr. Zimbabwe]

Im now in Canada .... winter is knocking .. Im getting ready to shovel snow ... :'(

Origionally from Zimbabwe... ;)

What part of Zim's?  I was born and raised in Bulawayo ....did 'varsity at UCT before coming to LA in 1996.  My folks moved from Bulawayo to Nelspruit and so I may go back to watch some of the World Cup.

[Figo]

What part of Zim's?  I was born and raised in Bulawayo ....did 'varsity at UCT before coming to LA in 1996.  My folks moved from Bulawayo to Nelspruit and so I may go back to watch some of the World Cup.

It seems theres quite a few of us on here!

I was born in Salisbury, but left at a few months old to Portugal. In SA since 88.