1. People who text while driving. Yes your friends new shoes she just bought were way more important than that trunk you just put into someone's backseat.
2. People who drive below the speed limit on the interstate. Especially in the left lane. Stay off the damn interstate if you can't get your car up to 65 or 70 and stay in the right lane if you aren't passing anyone!
3. Girls at bars who go out to flirt just to see how many free drinks they can get. You are pathetic. On an upside though, usually pretty easy to sleep with.
4. Ohio State. Enough said.
5. People who live in this country and can't speak a lick of English. I hate hearing "Ugh do you speaka Spanish?" No I do not SPEAKA anything. I SPEAK English!
6. People who watch TMZ or any celebrity gossip garbage and then talk to me about it. No I do not care what the last celebrity couple named their kid. I do not care what bar they went to on the weekend. I have my own life I live and my stories are better.
7. Condoms. Yep they still suck. Evil necessity.
8. People who use elevators to go up or down one floor. No wonder we are the fattest country on earth.
9. People who ask for fuckin money! Get a fucking job assholes
10. No nickel or dime packages for the entire football season. Just the defense in general. Outside of B. Graham.
That's good enough. Bring on the feats of strength! Festivus for the rest of us!
