Got a girl coming over and I really need a dump

[outby43]

fuck sake dude......take a dump and have a shower......she might lick you ass

I would refuse to be with a chick that licked my ass (past that one night of course).  No telling how many asses she plunged her tongue in.

Fucking gross.

[wes]

whatever you do,just be sure not to leave home without your pee bottle!!

[affeman]

Take the dump but neither flush down nor wipe ur ass.

[Mr Nobody]

She's here in about 15 mins... i am worried that it might be a messy dump and put me off having sex as I would feel dirty.

should I:

a) take a dump
b) take a dump and then have a shower
c) don't take a dump until after she has gone
d) take a dump on her chest

Definately d) then make her cleanup the mess, this will draw her closer to you.

[_bruce_]

Just ask her to open her mouth...

[ToxicAvenger]

I hear ya, man. I use these myself...Costco carries 'em. Unlike Baby wipes, these are flush-able.

finally..someone else...i carry em around in my book bag and my study partner gets embrassed when i take em out at star bucks as i head to the WC...but fuck i dont care...sometimes people stare but i stare right back with the " yeah thats right.....i'm better than you" look

[chadstallion]

She's here in about 15 mins... i am worried that it might be a messy dump and put me off having sex as I would feel dirty.

should I:

a) take a dump
b) take a dump and then have a shower
c) don't take a dump until after she has gone
d) take a dump on her chest

as long as she's not using a strap -on to butt f$ck you, you're safe.

[indie-lad]

I would refuse to be with a chick that licked my ass (past that one night of course).  No telling how many asses she plunged her tongue in.

Fucking gross.

Actually a girl licking my ass and is fucking hot as hell turns me on big time! I love girls tongues and the thought of them deep in my ass drives me nuts! Many girls are not into it but I've had much success convincing them to do it for me especially when their crazy about you at the time (when you get them to this level, anything is possible). I love it because there is something so dirty about it (figurative and literally). Even when I wasn't so clean down there I still make them do it. God, I love it! My X said to me one time that I smelled like onions down in my privates and still she licked me clean...good times!!

[affeman]

She's here in about 15 mins... i am worried that it might be a messy dump and put me off having sex as I would feel dirty.

should I:

a) take a dump
b) take a dump and then have a shower
c) don't take a dump until after she has gone
d) take a dump on her chest

What path have you finally chosen, sheepfucker?? Keep us updated!

[Bobby]

I once had a girl for a visit. And I had some problem with farting like every 5-10 minute. Damn it was a hell that night! Had to keep em in every time and let some small amount out calm and quiet while sitting in the couch. And i was going to the toilet more than once that night pretending that I have to pie while I was separating my ass to get soundless farts . Jesus, that day was a living hell!

 

[OneMoreRep]

I got home at 7 am... incredible night - but my belly hurt for the whole day.  Smuggling a turd for 10+ hours + sex.... ouch.

Double stimulation!

"1"

[Method101]

does she like to lick your asshole? whats the problem.

[Special Ed]

She's here in about 15 mins... i am worried that it might be a messy dump and put me off having sex as I would feel dirty: should I:

a) take a dump wash my vagina
b) take a dump wash my vagina and then have a shower
c) don't take a dump don't wash my vagina until after she he has gone
d) take a dump on her chest

fixed.

[calfzilla]

I don't take dumps.  My body uses all of my protein to build muscle on my massive physique.  Haven't taken a shit since I was 15. 

[Mr Nobody]

I don't take dumps.  My body uses all of my protein to build muscle on my massive physique.  Haven't taken a shit since I was 15. 

LMAO

[FitnessFrenzy]

Moral of the story is - if there is a chance you'll be naked and alone with a female, you should adjust your diet for the 4 or 5 hours ahead of that.

If I know a girl is stopping over at 10 pm after getting out of work, etc... I will eat a garden salad with chicken breast and dressing at 5 pm.  I will skip the evening protein shake, then opt for applesauce and something light at 730 or 8.  

Plan on being able to snack if yall go out, or maintain your game until you get laid.  Then have your steak and eggs.  

Worst/Best date I ever had... I ate a cheeseburger and fries and the girl calls me outta nowhere.  I take her to movie, and I gotta go afterwards.  She didn't want to go home, she wanted to go to beach.  Still no potty for me.  Then we went to this bike park and stayed there all night, making out and having sex two times.  no bathroom there either.  I left car to pee to relieve pressure, but had to do it twice with the baby turtle peeking out.

I got home at 7 am... incredible night - but my belly hurt for the whole day.  Smuggling a turd for 10+ hours + sex.... ouch.

be a man.. tell the girl you need to take a dump. Mars would have taken a dump right on the beach in front of her. That's how macho he is.

[Alex23]

fixed.

failed.

[Team Diver]

hilarious thread. 

[BIG ACH]

I had to perorm once RIGHT after eating a whoel tub of Ben & Jerrys ice cream, it was so fucking hard to stay focused!

[nzmusclemonster]

What path have you finally chosen, sheepfucker?? Keep us updated!

I took a dump but no shower afterwards.

It was great. Lots of positions used, so lucky I took a dump because one of the positions could have potentially squeezed mr turd out.

[che]

potentially squeezed mr turd out.

Outed

[nzmusclemonster]

I had to perorm once RIGHT after eating a whoel tub of Ben & Jerrys ice cream, it was so fucking hard to stay focused!

The best sex I ever had was after going to an all you can eat pizza hut. I was a machine 

[chaos]

Actually a girl licking my ass and is fucking hot as hell turns me on big time! I love girls tongues and the thought of them deep in my ass drives me nuts! Many girls are not into it but I've had much success convincing them to do it for me especially when their crazy about you at the time (when you get them to this level, anything is possible). I love it because there is something so dirty about it (figurative and literally). Even when I wasn't so clean down there I still make them do it. God, I love it! My X said to me one time that I smelled like onions down in my privates and still she licked me clean...good times!!

Fag.


Outed.

[HTexan]

B., you nasty fuck.

[Spike]

Actually a girl licking my ass and is fucking hot as hell turns me on big time! I love girls tongues and the thought of them deep in my ass drives me nuts! Many girls are not into it but I've had much success convincing them to do it for me especially when their crazy about you at the time (when you get them to this level, anything is possible). I love it because there is something so dirty about it (figurative and literally). Even when I wasn't so clean down there I still make them do it. God, I love it! My X said to me one time that I smelled like onions down in my privates and still she licked me clean...good times!!

x2


hahaha - onions? you must be middle eastern? no?