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Author Topic: how should i read the bible?  (Read 11101 times)

marty31672

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how should i read the bible?
« on: January 05, 2010, 10:55:15 PM »
the wife has been pestering me to "devote daily time to the Word"
i tried a few months ago to start from the very beginning but got bored/lost in the indices somewhere

how do i start exactly? by that i mean what page? i see she kinda jumps around so i get the feeling that i shouldnt read cover to cover like i do with my leisure stories.

anything i should read BEFORE i start reading the bible? like do you need a certain basic level of religiousity or religious knowledge before beginning?
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marty31672

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2010, 10:56:18 PM »
i'm thinking maybe i'll start tomorrow morning after my 1st cup of coffee before my 1st Wii Fit Session
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HTexan

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2010, 11:03:52 PM »
Quote from: marty31672 on January 05, 2010, 10:55:15 PM
the wife has been pestering me to "devote daily time to the Word"
i tried a few months ago to start from the very beginning but got bored/lost in the indices somewhere

how do i start exactly? by that i mean what page? i see she kinda jumps around so i get the feeling that i shouldnt read cover to cover like i do with my leisure stories.

anything i should read BEFORE i start reading the bible? like do you need a certain basic level of religiousity or religious knowledge before beginning?
The bible isn't like a traditional book, you can jump around. I would start with The Gospels. Which are Matthew- John.
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A

Tapeworm

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2010, 11:06:02 PM »
Perhaps you can read it together whenever you're in her ass.  2 birds, 1 stone, win win.
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calfzilla

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2010, 11:06:55 PM »
Hmmm, maybe this part "In the beginning..."   ::)
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Method101

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2010, 11:32:36 PM »
reading the bible should re-inforce your lack of belief.
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#1 Klaus fan

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2010, 11:38:03 PM »
The first pages are the funniest. There's a talking snake, actual fucking talking snake that I guess had legs originally but god thought it wasn't being nice and made it's legs disappear.  ::)
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Tre

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2010, 11:43:23 PM »
Quote from: Tapeworm on January 05, 2010, 11:06:02 PM
Perhaps you can read it together whenever you're in her ass.  2 birds, 1 stone, win win.

 ;D

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Method101

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2010, 11:45:43 PM »
Tell her Christianity was created by Jews and see her reaction.
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WillGrant

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #9 on: January 06, 2010, 02:59:00 AM »
Good toilet paper
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JasonH

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2010, 03:24:22 AM »
I remember reading all the books of the New Testament when I was a kid just so that I could say I'd done it - I remember the first four books (Matthew Mark, Luke, and John) were all pretty much the same telling the same traditional story of Jesus in the same sort of roundabout way - then it went downhill from there and by the time I got to Revelations I was depressed as fuck because all it seemed to talk about was sinning, plague and pestilence and how the world would open up into a hellish existence if you didn't repent blah blah blah.....
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Skeeter

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2010, 03:44:10 AM »
I'd read it with one of these.

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hossie59

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #12 on: January 06, 2010, 07:32:00 AM »
**********SPOILER ALERT**************



























Jesus Dies.
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saopl

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #13 on: January 06, 2010, 07:41:07 AM »
burn it.
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240 is Back

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #14 on: January 06, 2010, 07:42:01 AM »
read it on fox news while lecturing tiger woods on marital infidelities.
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dr.chimps

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #15 on: January 06, 2010, 07:44:49 AM »
With a grain of salt.
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wavelength

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #16 on: January 06, 2010, 07:50:06 AM »
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WingedLion

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #17 on: January 06, 2010, 08:02:22 AM »
Quote from: marty31672 on January 05, 2010, 10:55:15 PM
the wife has been pestering me to "devote daily time to the Word"
i tried a few months ago to start from the very beginning but got bored/lost in the indices somewhere

how do i start exactly? by that i mean what page? i see she kinda jumps around so i get the feeling that i shouldnt read cover to cover like i do with my leisure stories.

anything i should read BEFORE i start reading the bible? like do you need a certain basic level of religiousity or religious knowledge before beginning?
read it while he rams your butthole with a huge dildo

you'll be able to pack in more info
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Spike

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #18 on: January 06, 2010, 08:06:26 AM »
Quote from: WingedLion on January 06, 2010, 08:02:22 AM
read it while he rams your butthole with a huge dildo

you'll be able to pack in more info

sev will walk down to Auschwitz and get you a REAL bible

its like a stones throw away from his moms house

 :D
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Samourai Pizzacat

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #19 on: January 06, 2010, 08:07:56 AM »
Quote from: dr.chimps on January 06, 2010, 07:44:49 AM
With a grain of salt.
Your picture-google-fu is strong today!


Aye I've read parts of it, and it's the quickest way to put you off religion (in general btw).
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Army of One

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #20 on: January 06, 2010, 08:10:11 AM »
Read it like the work of fiction it is.
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WingedLion

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #21 on: January 06, 2010, 08:12:02 AM »
Quote from: Spike on January 06, 2010, 08:06:26 AM
sev will walk down to Auschwitz and get you a REAL bible

its like a stones throw away from his moms house

 :D
spike



take one of your susage gh built fingers and stick it deep inside your rectum...then tell us how u really feel
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Tapeworm

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #22 on: January 06, 2010, 08:14:01 AM »
I tried once but it was duller than Last of the Mohecians.
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bigdumbbell

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #23 on: January 06, 2010, 08:15:56 AM »
Quote from: Tapeworm on January 06, 2010, 08:14:01 AM
I tried once but it was duller than Last of the Mohecians.
wait now, that was a savage novel
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MORTALCOIL

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Re: how should i read the bible?
« Reply #24 on: January 06, 2010, 08:19:32 AM »
 :)
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