What the fuck are you doing to the wife if the sex gets that rough?
I'd stop if she starts yelling STOP! STOP! for the love of god!
As far as anal (with women non homo), in my experiences there are 2 types of guys.
Type 1
(me) Curious about it and wanna give it a shot. Do it a few times with a chick and get over it and prolly not to have it again because it's too much work trying to get the a-hole loosed up. Plus it's a dirty dirty place. Plus the vag is such a wonderful place, why would I wanna go anywhere else?
Type 2
The guy who does it and then brags every detail to people within earshot how he just "destroyed that chick's stinktar bro". I think this guy gets more pleasure bragging about it than the actual act. I have a few buddies who fall in this category it's pretty annoying.