Stupid things bodybuilders do and eat and have sex with.
Twenty eggs, a loaf of toast, and a 12-ounce steak at a sitting. Bodybuilders are known for their unusual eating habits, but…monkey brains?
Steve Michalik, Mr. Universe 1975, shudders to recall his bad old days as a skin-popping juice pig. Anadrol, Dianabol, and other steroids had taken him to the title, but Michalik noticed that his body had begun to plateau. Upping his dosage to Presleyan proportions, he still couldn’t pack on the meat mass he craved. So he struck out for the hardcore fringe in search of the next big thing.
He found it in a monkey’s head, drinking the hormone-rich goop that flowed out of the hypothalamus gland. (It seemed like a good idea at the time.)
Michalik is the first to admit he was pretty far gone by the time he started snacking on monkey brains. When he wasn’t throwing people through windows or bashing trucks in with 300-pound railroad ties, Michalik pimped for the physician who supplied him with his precious black-market prescriptions.
Aspiring bodybuilders “had to find out sooner or later that the road to the title went through Dr. X’s office,” Michalik told the Village Voice in 1991. With the doctor’s lock on such high-end supplements as Primobolan and Parabolin, “nobody was gonna get to be competition size unless they put out for him.” In exchange for a stack of steroid scrips, Michalik brokered love connections for the doctor with a string of title hopefuls.
The doctor’s drugs were so powerful, “you felt them immediately in your muscles,” Michalik recalled.
And then there were their sexual side effects, including almost constant erections. “One of my friends, a former Mr. America, used to get so horny on tour that he’d fuck the Coke machine in his hotel,” Michalik said. “Swear to God, he’d stick his dick right in the change slot and bang it for all he was worth.”
