Author Topic: Epic grocery store ownage today! (Read 5191 times)

Wiggs · « **on:** March 22, 2010, 08:35:22 PM »

So the frau and I were in Whole Foods today. We were in the area where the soups and salads are and my wife looks to see what soups are available. There were four lined up, vegatable, ministrone, clam chowder and matzo ball...As my wife is looking, a 70+ year old 5'1 jew strolls over and opens all the soup tops going down the line seeing what they look like. My wife being a very passive person moves so he can do it. After he's done my wife goes back to the soup to get some and the old jew does it again all pissed of that my wife was there...I summoned the power of her German, Nazi ancestors as I saw what happened and stepped in between him and the soup. As my wife was visibly shaken. When he turned around he saw my overpowering 5'9.5 inch 252 lbs ebony frame staring at him with a look he hadn't seen since he was taken to a camp. I stared in into his beedy little eyes and flared my chocolate, negro, nostrils and clenched my jaw and he nearly shit his pants and scurried away back to his cave...

Next time, I won't be so nice....

Thank you squadfather....thank you.

BTW true story

SF1900 · « **Reply #1 on:** March 22, 2010, 08:37:04 PM »

Squadfather would be proud.

chaos · « **Reply #2 on:** March 22, 2010, 08:40:13 PM »

Quote from: Wiggs on March 22, 2010, 08:35:22 PM

I stared in into his beedy little eyes and flared my chocolate negro nostrils and clench my jaw he nearly shit his pants and scurried away back to his cave...

My favorite part.

Rami · « **Reply #3 on:** March 22, 2010, 08:43:33 PM »

That's a good story.

But always carry a magazine with you, just in case!

James Blunt · « **Reply #4 on:** March 22, 2010, 08:44:55 PM »

Hahahah I just spit my oats and protein shake all over my keyboard!

James Blunt · « **Reply #5 on:** March 22, 2010, 08:49:07 PM »

Quote from: Rami on March 22, 2010, 08:43:33 PM

That's a good story.

But always carry a magazine with you, just in case!

hahaah ohwow youtube is the best thing ever. So much for free. It's amazing

benchmstr · « **Reply #6 on:** March 22, 2010, 08:49:15 PM »

Quote from: Wiggs on March 22, 2010, 08:35:22 PM

So the frau and I were in Wholefoods today. We were in the area where the soups and salads are and my wife looks to see what soups are available. There were four lined up, vegatable, ministrone, clam chowder and matzo ball...As my wife is looking, a 70+ year old 5'1 jew strolls over and opens all the soup tops going down the line seeing what they look like. My wife being a very passive person moves so he can do it. After he's done my wife goes back to the soup to get some and the old jew does it again all pissed of that my wife was there...I summoned the power of her German, Nazi ancestors as I saw what happened and stepped in between him and the soup. As my wife was visibly shaken. When he turned around he saw my overpowering 5'9.5 inch 252 lbs ebony frame staring at him with a look he hadn't seen since he was taken to a camp. I stared in into his beedy little eyes and flared my chocolate negro nostrils and clench my jaw he nearly shit his pants and scurried away back to his cave...

Next time, I won't be so nice....

Thank you squadfather....thank you.

BTW true story

hahahahaha but i would change this to "bell pepper ass looking nose"....or ron might ban you for being to hard on the jews

bench

thelamefalsehood · « **Reply #7 on:** March 22, 2010, 08:51:15 PM »

Get the seafood gumbo soup next time, that soup is f--ing awesome man

jpm101 · « **Reply #8 on:** March 22, 2010, 08:53:47 PM »

Bad news, the old man's grandson is THE Goldberg. The Yiddish gentleman vowing to seek revenge on the shvartser. And the vays women who was with him. A Hebrew curse dwells upon your head now.

By the way, when does SF get out of joint time in Chicago?

kiwiol · « **Reply #9 on:** March 22, 2010, 08:56:39 PM »

Quote from: Wiggs on March 22, 2010, 08:35:22 PM

So the frau and I were in Wholefoods today. We were in the area where the soups and salads are and my wife looks to see what soups are available. There were four lined up, vegatable, ministrone, clam chowder and matzo ball...As my wife is looking, a 70+ year old 5'1 jew strolls over and opens all the soup tops going down the line seeing what they look like. My wife being a very passive person moves so he can do it. After he's done my wife goes back to the soup to get some and the old jew does it again all pissed of that my wife was there...I summoned the power of her German, Nazi ancestors as I saw what happened and stepped in between him and the soup. As my wife was visibly shaken. When he turned around he saw my overpowering 5'9.5 inch 252 lbs ebony frame staring at him with a look he hadn't seen since he was taken to a camp. I stared in into his beedy little eyes and flared my chocolate negro nostrils and clench my jaw he nearly shit his pants and scurried away back to his cave...

Next time, I won't be so nice....

Thank you squadfather....thank you.

BTW true story

You're lucky he didn't JuJitsu your ass

jon cole · « **Reply #10 on:** March 22, 2010, 11:06:16 PM »

"When he turned around he saw my overpowering 5'9.5 inch 252 lbs ebony frame staring at him with a look he hadn't seen since he was taken to a camp. I stared in into his beedy little eyes and flared my chocolate, negro, nostrils and clenched my jaw and he nearly shit his pants and scurried"

SIMPLY EPIC...

Tyr · « **Reply #11 on:** March 23, 2010, 01:02:03 AM »

Quote from: Wiggs on March 22, 2010, 08:35:22 PM

So the frau and I were in Whole Foods today. We were in the area where the soups and salads are and my wife looks to see what soups are available. There were four lined up, vegatable, ministrone, clam chowder and matzo ball...As my wife is looking, a 70+ year old 5'1 jew strolls over and opens all the soup tops going down the line seeing what they look like. My wife being a very passive person moves so he can do it. After he's done my wife goes back to the soup to get some and the old jew does it again all pissed of that my wife was there...I summoned the power of her German, Nazi ancestors as I saw what happened and stepped in between him and the soup. As my wife was visibly shaken. When he turned around he saw my overpowering 5'9.5 inch 252 lbs ebony frame staring at him with a look he hadn't seen since he was taken to a camp. I stared in into his beedy little eyes and flared my chocolate, negro, nostrils and clenched my jaw and he nearly shit his pants and scurried away back to his cave...

Next time, I won't be so nice....

Thank you squadfather....thank you.

BTW true story

brutal
Good stuff.

Better hope Ron doesn't see this or you'll end up getting transferred to a camp as well

Army of One · « **Reply #12 on:** March 23, 2010, 01:45:20 AM »

Quote from: Wiggs on March 22, 2010, 08:35:22 PM

So the frau and I were in Whole Foods today. We were in the area where the soups and salads are and my wife looks to see what soups are available. There were four lined up, vegatable, ministrone, clam chowder and matzo ball...As my wife is looking, a 70+ year old 5'1 jew strolls over and opens all the soup tops going down the line seeing what they look like. My wife being a very passive person moves so he can do it. After he's done my wife goes back to the soup to get some and the old jew does it again all pissed of that my wife was there...I summoned the power of her German, Nazi ancestors as I saw what happened and stepped in between him and the soup. As my wife was visibly shaken. When he turned around he saw my overpowering 5'9.5 inch 252 lbs ebony frame staring at him with a look he hadn't seen since he was taken to a camp. I stared in into his beedy little eyes and flared my chocolate, negro, nostrils and clenched my jaw and he nearly shit his pants and scurried away back to his cave...

Next time, I won't be so nice....

Thank you squadfather....thank you.

BTW true story

Maybe uncle joe just wanted a gay4pay session while betty was out of town

calfzilla · « **Reply #13 on:** March 23, 2010, 02:09:30 AM »

1. Post of the week!

2. Post pics of your Aryan wife.

3. If he is really a holocaust surviving Jew, you really can't blame him for being drawn to the soup isle.

4. Racist post. Reported...(no really

)

Mr. Magoo · « **Reply #14 on:** March 23, 2010, 02:19:01 AM »

JasonH · « **Reply #15 on:** March 23, 2010, 02:26:25 AM »

Nice ownage Wiggs.

Reminds me of the good old days on Getbig when ownings were a regular occurance.

Mr Nobody · « **Reply #16 on:** March 23, 2010, 02:30:21 AM »

Wiggs is a store bouncer.

pugalist666 · « **Reply #17 on:** March 23, 2010, 03:03:08 AM »

Quote from: calfzilla on March 23, 2010, 02:09:30 AM

1. Post of the week!

2. Post pics of your Caucasian wife.

3. If he is really a holocaust surviving Jew, you really can't blame him for being drawn to the soup isle.

4. Racist post. Reported...(no really )

probably not a good idea

wes mantooth · « **Reply #18 on:** March 23, 2010, 09:36:39 AM »

Quote from: calfzilla on March 23, 2010, 02:09:30 AM

1. Post of the week!

X2

still laughing...

The Showstoppa · « **Reply #19 on:** March 23, 2010, 09:39:57 AM »

i didn't know Wiggs was a smelly hippie?

SamoanIrishman · « **Reply #20 on:** March 23, 2010, 09:44:37 AM »

Awesome..

spinnis · « **Reply #21 on:** March 23, 2010, 09:51:31 AM »

Wiggs is like a in real life action movie star.

yes im high.

Mr Nobody · « **Reply #22 on:** March 23, 2010, 09:55:17 AM »

Quote from: Swede! on March 23, 2010, 09:51:31 AM

Wiggs is like a in real life action movie star.

yes im high.

Nice job man

Bobby · « **Reply #23 on:** March 23, 2010, 02:02:31 PM »

Quote from: Wiggs on March 22, 2010, 08:35:22 PM

How can you tell a Jewish house at Christmas? Parking meter on the roof

Whats a Jew's worst nightmare? Half price bacon

Wiggs · « **Reply #24 on:** March 23, 2010, 02:17:20 PM »

Quote from: Bobby on March 23, 2010, 02:02:31 PM

Hey motherfu cker don't you dare fuckin' misquote me like that. I never fucking wrote that bullshit!

I don't hate jews.

Milton Glein Wigginstein III aka Wiggs

Author Topic: Epic grocery store ownage today! (Read 5191 times)

spinnis