My grandfather was in Whole foods yesterday to pick up some of his favorite soup (Minestrone). He gets to the Deli area where all the salad fixings and soups are lined up and sees this pasty white trash woman walking back and forth along the soup area. Apparently she was unable to read the labels as to what type of soup was in each container. Grandfather being the gentleman he is slides in and takes the lid off each container so this “lady” can see what the soups are inside. The lady stands there in amazement as this had obviously not occurred to her to do. As my grandfather turns to offer her a soup container to use, this guy suddenly appears out of nowhere. He looks huge at first glance, but then grandfather sees he is standing on a crate of oranges making him look taller than the 5’6” he really is. The man is giving him the evil eye, twitching his nose and gnashing his teeth. This of course concerned grandfather as he thought the man was having a seizure of some sort so he hurried off the call an ambalamps worried the man would fall off the crate. He could not recall seeing anything so strange even back in his WWII days. Then it hit him, instead of calling 911, he called animal control as obviously the zoo was missing one of it’s chimps. He said next time he will just throw a banana out the door and close it when the monkey runs out.
