Don't be so hard on yourself cheif
I always trained hard in the last 5 years. I was 150lbs when i began, extrem skinny. Now I'm 200. Not a huge improvement, and in the last 2 years i always got gradually harder and more shredded, but didn't get lot more mass. Basically because i lost interest in the diet part of the bodybuilding. I could get most of the hot college girls on my university, whats the point of getting bigger?

But i like weightlifting, and really enjoy training and beat my halfassed personal records

Im not some delluisonal american kid, who thinks he will be the next Levrone, when he is 6'3" hardgainer and has long limbs... I just like training. Thats it.