True Story Time! (Bodybuilding / Family related)

[Parker]

sick story but related to the discussion in this thread...

years ago on anabolex one cat there was bragging that he used to stick his fingers up his ass, and then tell the youngsters in his neighborhood that he had just banged out some bitch and let them smell his fingers.  he would have a good laugh as they all would say how great it smelled, thinking it was actually pussy juice they were inhaling.

There was this dude in Howard Co, MD that would bang his girlfriend's male cat. She didn't know what was going on, and wondered why the cat was walking funny...well, she heard the baby monitor one day and she could hear him say "dirty" things to the cat, and the cat screaming. They had to put the cat down, it's rectum, intestines were fucked up, so were it's kidneys and liver. It's ribs were broken from him holding the cat down...

And his girlfriend was fine looking...I guess he wanted another type of pussy?

[Jizzacked]

There was this dude in Howard Co, MD that would bang his girlfriend's male cat. She didn't know what was going on, and wondered why the cat was walking funny...well, she heard the baby monitor one day and she could hear him say "dirty" things to the cat, and the cat screaming. They had to put the cat down, it's rectum, intestines were fucked up, so were it's kidneys and liver. It's ribs were broken from him holding the cat down...

And his girlfriend was fine looking...I guess he wanted another type of pussy?

pretty sick stuff parker... I am not clear on how that is relative to my post though, since you quoted me?   

[Parker]

pretty sick stuff parker... I am not clear on how that is relative to my post though, since you quoted me?   

Sorry, relating one sick story to another....don't know, really, I should be sleep.

[Army of One]

So we spent the weekend with my in-Laws, and last night they invited us to Ruth Chris' over in Philly.  I ended up ordering the Porterhouse for myself, which I dunno how many ounces it is but on the menu it says "FOR TWO", it costs 80 dollars!!!!!!  Everyone else ended up having 30 dollar steaks lol.  To make it worse, as I ordered, the waitress goes "oh do you plan on sharing that?" and I go "umm no"... my wife just sorta shook her head at me.

So at the end of the dinner I went up to my mother in law and said,
"Thank you very much for dinner, I know my food cost more than double of what everyone else got, and I feel kinda bad" so my mother in law responds,
"its ok, you know if you lived closer to us we would get you this much food every night!" and then my father in law goes,
"if you lived closer to us, I would buy a cattle farm and start raising some cows....  at least if the plumbing goes out in the building tonight we'll know who's at fault!" LOL

What sucks is at dinner, MY FUCKING JEANS RIPPED!!!!!  They ripped in the inner thigh section ON BOTH LEGS!!!  A little bit higher and my balls coulda been showing!  I'm blaming that on the fact that my quads are probably getting bigger!  Cause I mean the waist fits just fine, its the thigh area that's always fucking tight!

My wife's family were cracking up all night long about it!  Had to go buy new jeans this morning!  I fucking hate buying jeans, its soo hard to find something that fits right, the waist ALWAYS fits fine and the thighs are just tight.  EVEN WITH THE LOOSE FIT!!  And my legs fucking suck, what the hell!!!

Hope you enjoyed this story!

BIG ACH

[lesaucer]

So we spent the weekend with my in-Laws, and last night they invited us to Ruth Chris' over in Philly.  I ended up ordering the Porterhouse for myself, which I dunno how many ounces it is but on the menu it says "FOR TWO", it costs 80 dollars!!!!!!  Everyone else ended up having 30 dollar steaks lol.  To make it worse, as I ordered, the waitress goes "oh do you plan on sharing that?" and I go "umm no"... my wife just sorta shook her head at me.

So at the end of the dinner I went up to my mother in law and said,
"Thank you very much for dinner, I know my food cost more than double of what everyone else got, and I feel kinda bad" so my mother in law responds,
"its ok, you know if you lived closer to us we would get you this much food every night!" and then my father in law goes,
"if you lived closer to us, I would buy a cattle farm and start raising some cows....  at least if the plumbing goes out in the building tonight we'll know who's at fault!" LOL

What sucks is at dinner, MY FUCKING JEANS RIPPED!!!!!  They ripped in the inner thigh section ON BOTH LEGS!!!  A little bit higher and my balls coulda been showing!  I'm blaming that on the fact that my quads are probably getting bigger!  Cause I mean the waist fits just fine, its the thigh area that's always fucking tight!

My wife's family were cracking up all night long about it!  Had to go buy new jeans this morning!  I fucking hate buying jeans, its soo hard to find something that fits right, the waist ALWAYS fits fine and the thighs are just tight.  EVEN WITH THE LOOSE FIT!!  And my legs fucking suck, what the hell!!!

Hope you enjoyed this story!

BIG ACH

stop buying slim fit shit, homo 

[Jizzacked]

Sorry, relating one sick story to another....don't know, really, I should be sleep.

it's cool, though I think yours was obviously way worse.  depressing on some levels, whilst the ass finger broski's tale was arguably somewhat humorous albeit sick, geting a laugh out of the machismo and desire of acceptance of youth. 

"be sleep" brotha

[grab an umbrella]

So we spent the weekend with my in-Laws, and last night they invited us to Ruth Chris' over in Philly.  I ended up ordering the Porterhouse for myself, which I dunno how many ounces it is but on the menu it says "FOR TWO", it costs 80 dollars!!!!!!  Everyone else ended up having 30 dollar steaks lol.  To make it worse, as I ordered, the waitress goes "oh do you plan on sharing that?" and I go "umm no"... my wife just sorta shook her head at me.

So at the end of the dinner I went up to my mother in law and said,
"Thank you very much for dinner, I know my food cost more than double of what everyone else got, and I feel kinda bad" so my mother in law responds,
"its ok, you know if you lived closer to us we would get you this much food every night!" and then my father in law goes,
"if you lived closer to us, I would buy a cattle farm and start raising some cows....  at least if the plumbing goes out in the building tonight we'll know who's at fault!" LOL

What sucks is at dinner, MY FUCKING JEANS RIPPED!!!!!  They ripped in the inner thigh section ON BOTH LEGS!!!  A little bit higher and my balls coulda been showing!  I'm blaming that on the fact that my quads are probably getting bigger!  Cause I mean the waist fits just fine, its the thigh area that's always fucking tight!

My wife's family were cracking up all night long about it!  Had to go buy new jeans this morning!  I fucking hate buying jeans, its soo hard to find something that fits right, the waist ALWAYS fits fine and the thighs are just tight.  EVEN WITH THE LOOSE FIT!!  And my legs fucking suck, what the hell!!!

Hope you enjoyed this story!

BIG ACH

Holy shit, you have to concept of being polite do you queer?  You always let the person buying order first and you order something less expensive than them.  Jeebus you must have been raised by muslims.

[Jizzacked]

Holy shit, you have to concept of being polite do you queer?  You always let the person buying order first and you order something less expensive than them.

agreed.  sorry big ach, you seem like an alright dude... but ordering something that costs substantially more money than your host's meals is some pretty rude shit.  to be honest, you should probably apologize again at some point, or at least admit you felt bad about the incident and take THEM out to dinner.  I think that would be a pretty classy move on your part.

[grab an umbrella]

agreed.  sorry big ach, you seem like an alright dude... but ordering something that costs substantially more money than your host's meals is some pretty rude shit.  to be honest, you should probably apologize again at some point, or at least admit you felt bad about the incident and take THEM out to dinner.  I think that would be a pretty classy move on your part.

It's beyond rude, its downright disrespectful.  Maybe I was raised by decent parents, idk, but that shit wouldn't fly if I was paying.

[Jizzacked]

It's beyond rude, its downright disrespectful.  Maybe I was raised by decent parents, idk, but that shit wouldn't fly if I was paying.

I hear you, that shit would never fly amongst me or my family.  I strongly suggest he takes me up on my suggestion of taking them out to dinner and footing the bill. 

[ToxicAvenger]

Yeah, but there insides and cervix are all effed up...I bet the doc is like "WTF is wrong with your ____ cavity."

money, or lack of it forces them to do it. Like those Brazilian chicas that do it.

Now, the euro gals, they on another level, a 8 dog gangbang, WTF?

ya gotta understand....some of them PREFER a donkey over a human mang! they prolly could make just as much money with human customers...

[ToxicAvenger]

sick story but related to the discussion in this thread...

years ago on anabolex one cat there was bragging that he used to stick his fingers up his ass, and then tell the youngsters in his neighborhood that he had just banged out some bitch and let them smell his fingers.  he would have a good laugh as they all would say how great it smelled, thinking it was actually pussy juice they were inhaling.

LMAO!!!! 

[Parker]

ya gotta understand....some of them PREFER a donkey over a human mang! they prolly could make just as much money with human customers...

True, but I think there is more money given to those who do the unthinkable.

[ToxicAvenger]

True, but I think there is more money given to those who do the unthinkable.

you r prolly right....but i guess these girls aren't even thinking about the damage to their bodies...which will shorten their life expectancy in the "donkey banging" biz

the whores that have human customers will last longer (barring disease) and hense make more $ in the long run

[Parker]

you r prolly right....but i guess these girls aren't even thinking about the damage to their bodies...which will shorten their life expectancy in the "donkey banging" biz

the whores that have human customers will last longer (barring disease) and hense make more $ in the long run

It all gets to be a nasty view of human self degradation.

[BIG ACH]

agreed.  sorry big ach, you seem like an alright dude... but ordering something that costs substantially more money than your host's meals is some pretty rude shit.  to be honest, you should probably apologize again at some point, or at least admit you felt bad about the incident and take THEM out to dinner.  I think that would be a pretty classy move on your part.

I agree on all levels LOL, but i've been married to my wife for almost 4 years and have known her and her family for over 13 years, LOL so I pretty much lost all inhibitions.

Whats bad... is that, i've done worse shit before with them, I've ordered two entrees when they were paying a bunch of times, just last week we went out to DC and I ordered 2 entrees LOL  They're pretty much used to me!

Its funny cause I asked my wife beforehand, is it ok if I get this, will your parents be pissed, and she goes "no no no, not at all, go ahead" so I did LOL but I agree, I need to practice some more decency.  

My parents would be PISSED if they knew about this! LOL

[BIG ACH]

Whats funny...  This is how nice my in-laws are, after I ordered that 80 dollar steak, my mother in law goes, "wait why aren't you ordering an appetizer?" lol



Jizzacked, believe me I've tried soooo many times to take them out to dinner, but anytime I try to pay literally ALL HELL Breaks loose, my mother in law throws this HUGE stink!  And on the occassions I've been successful in actually paying,  my mother in law wont talk to me for the rest of the night, no joke.

They have this mentality that they must always pay and in my culture is kinda rude when the younger generation pays for the older one, but I've been successful a few times in doing so

[BIG ACH]

Ok I just sent my in-laws the following E-mail 
________________________ ________________________ __


I wanted to thank you very much for having us this weekend.  We both had a blast with you guys, and as always it went by way too fast.
Thank you also for my VERY BIG and VERY EXPENSIVE steak the other night  
 
We are already looking forward for your next visit to DC, and we hope that next time you will stay a little longer (like 2 months as we discussed!).
 
 
Hope the rest of your trip in Philly went well.
 
 
We'll talk to you soon.
 
Love you guys,
 
 
BIG ACH
www.bigach.com

[grab an umbrella]

Ok I just sent my in-laws the following E-mail 
________________________ ________________________ __


I wanted to thank you very much for having us this weekend.  We both had a blast with you guys, and as always it went by way too fast.
Thank you also for my VERY BIG and VERY EXPENSIVE steak the other night  
 
We are already looking forward for your next visit to DC, and we hope that next time you will stay a little longer (like 2 months as we discussed!).
 
 
Hope the rest of your trip in Philly went well.
 
 
We'll talk to you soon.
 
Love you guys,
 
 
BIG ACH
www.bigach.com

Nice save bro.  I suggest sending them a gift.

[BIG ACH]

Nice save bro.  I suggest sending them a gift.

Here's the response I just got from my mother in law:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Ahmed
Thank you for having us in dc and for spending time with us in Philly.
We are lucky to have you in our family.
See you soon ISA.
Thank you for showing me how to use the phone.

[spinnis]

I went to McDonalds with some guys from my church one being 6'7 240 something. there was a wigger cooking in the back apparently pissed that someone had ordered 8 plain burgers (for a party or something), He said something like:

"The next mother fucker that walks through that fuckin door and orders something that ain't on the menu is gettin his ass kicked"

the big guy from my church asked a lady working if he could speak with that "young man", he said: "what did you say you were going to do to me if I ordered a burger with no onions?"

What happened after that?!?!?!?

[El Diablo Blanco]

Classy, wearing jeans to Ruth's Chris.  Fucking neanderthal 

[Spike]

What happened after that?!?!?!?

this..........

[affy]

Classy, wearing jeans to Ruth's Chris.  Fucking neanderthal 

i don't know what but this fucking made me lose it and start laughing really hard

[Nirvana]

What happened after that?!?!?!?

The son of a bitch cooked a burger with no onions