True Story Time! (Bodybuilding / Family related)

[BIG ACH]

So we spent the weekend with my in-Laws, and last night they invited us to Ruth Chris' over in Philly.  I ended up ordering the Porterhouse for myself, which I dunno how many ounces it is but on the menu it says "FOR TWO", it costs 80 dollars!!!!!!  Everyone else ended up having 30 dollar steaks lol.  To make it worse, as I ordered, the waitress goes "oh do you plan on sharing that?" and I go "umm no"... my wife just sorta shook her head at me.

So at the end of the dinner I went up to my mother in law and said,
"Thank you very much for dinner, I know my food cost more than double of what everyone else got, and I feel kinda bad" so my mother in law responds,
"its ok, you know if you lived closer to us we would get you this much food every night!" and then my father in law goes,
"if you lived closer to us, I would buy a cattle farm and start raising some cows....  at least if the plumbing goes out in the building tonight we'll know who's at fault!" LOL

What sucks is at dinner, MY FUCKING JEANS RIPPED!!!!!  They ripped in the inner thigh section ON BOTH LEGS!!!  A little bit higher and my balls coulda been showing!  I'm blaming that on the fact that my quads are probably getting bigger!  Cause I mean the waist fits just fine, its the thigh area that's always fucking tight!

My wife's family were cracking up all night long about it!  Had to go buy new jeans this morning!  I fucking hate buying jeans, its soo hard to find something that fits right, the waist ALWAYS fits fine and the thighs are just tight.  EVEN WITH THE LOOSE FIT!!  And my legs fucking suck, what the hell!!!

Hope you enjoyed this story!

BIG ACH

[ToxicAvenger]

when ya rub yer finger between yer toes and smell it....it smells intriguing...

not bad....not good...but makes ya wanna smell it over n over again...

true story!

[BIG ACH]

when ya rub yer finger between yer toes and smell it....it smells intriguing...

not bad....not good...but makes ya wanna smell it over n over again...

true story!

How did you find that out exactly?   You should try sticking yer finger up yer ass and then sniffing it, seriously, rumor has it you'd like that, at least the first part of it 

[Nirvana]

I went to McDonalds with some guys from my church one being 6'7 240 something. there was a wigger cooking in the back apparently pissed that someone had ordered 8 plain burgers (for a party or something), He said something like:

"The next mother fucker that walks through that fuckin door and orders something that ain't on the menu is gettin his ass kicked"

the big guy from my church asked a lady working if he could speak with that "young man", he said: "what did you say you were going to do to me if I ordered a burger with no onions?"

[BIG ACH]

I went to McDonalds with some guys from my church one being 6'7 240 something. there was a wigger cooking in the back apparently pissed that someone had ordered 8 plain burgers (for a party or something), He said something like:

"The next mother fucker that walks through that fuckin door and orders something that ain't on the menu is gettin his ass kicked"

the big guy from my church asked a lady working if he could speak with that "young man", he said: "what did you say you were going to do to me if I ordered a burger with no onions?"

Your friend is a bad ass! 

[ToxicAvenger]

How did you find that out exactly?  

i experimented after reading whitmans "song to myself" from "leaves of grass"

here is the poem below
http://www.princeton.edu/~batke/logr/log_026.html

You should try sticking yer finger up yer ass and then sniffing it, seriously, rumor has it you'd like that, at least the first part of it  

done that...i used to stick my finger up my butt and then trick my brother into smelling it when i ws a kid....

true story

[WOOO]

i burped and it smelled like dumplings...

[BIG ACH]

 done that...i used to stick my finger up my butt and then trick my brother into smelling it when i ws a kid....

Thats meeeeean! LOL

[ToxicAvenger]

Thats meeeeean! LOL

not as mean as sitting on my sister and farting


again....true story...!

i seem to be full of em today

[BIG ACH]

not as mean as sitting on my sister and farting


again....true story...!

NO WAY!!! YOU BULLSHITTIN US!!!!  NOOOOOO! 

[Nirvana]

not as mean as sitting on my sister and farting


again....true story...!

i seem to be full of em today

or throwing a recliner at your sister (my dad's guilty)

[Parker]

I sneezed as I was putting a contact in...I never knew my eye was that big...

[ToxicAvenger]

NO WAY!!! YOU BULLSHITTIN US!!!!  NOOOOOO! 

i also threw a rock at a donkeys erect penis as a kid...and hit it dead on...

the bastard brayed like a mofo....


true story!

[BIG ACH]

i also threw a rock at a donkeys erect penis as a kid...and hit it dead on...

the bastard brayed like a mofo....


true story!

What do you mean by "brayed"

[ToxicAvenger]

What do you mean by "brayed"

sheep "baaaa"
cows " mooo"
donkeys "bray"

[WOOO]

i killed chris benoit

[BIG ACH]

sheep "baaaa"
cows " mooo"
donkeys "bray"

Thank you for helping a gentleman not born in the glorious US of A! 

[ToxicAvenger]

Thank you for helping a gentleman not born in the glorious US of A! 

i did this in pakistan....

think it'd be illegal in the US....in pakistan all donkeys...horses.....mul es...with erect penises r fair game for target practice.....and if u happen to be carrying an air gun....o man...its like X-mas!

[BIG ACH]

i did this in pakistan....

think it'd be illegal in the US....in pakistan all donkeys...horses.....mul es...with erect penises r fair game for target practice.....and if u happen to be carrying an air gun....o man...its like X-mas!

Cruel but awesome!  Go to Mexico and watch a Donkey Show!  more fun with animal erect penises! LOL

[ToxicAvenger]

Cruel but awesome!  Go to Mexico and watch a Donkey Show!  more fun with animal erect penises! LOL

lol then they donkey is happy...we wanted to hear the fucker scream (bray) in pain...sadistic fun!

also once in my life i wanna mercilessly beat a fat pig with a broom handle and hear the bastard squeal for all its worth....i'd pay good money to do that

[Parker]

Cruel but awesome!  Go to Mexico and watch a Donkey Show!  more fun with animal erect penises! LOL

Kinda odd how one of the world's most Catholic countries allows beastie shows to the public....feel sad for the girls...

[ToxicAvenger]

Kinda odd how one of the world's most Catholic countries allows beastie shows to the public....feel sad for the girls...

be a glass half full sorta guy and feel happy for the donkey!  


no body forces these girls into it....most of them actually like that shit  i'm PRETTY sure they could find themselves a horney human customer or 100

[BIG ACH]

be a glass half full sorta guy and feel happy for the donkey!  

HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAH I JUST FUCKING LAUGHED SO HARD WHEN I READ THAT HAAHAHAHHA! THAT WAS EXCELLENT!

[Parker]

be a glass half full sorta guy and feel happy for the donkey!  


no body forces these girls into it....most of them actually like that shit  i'm PRETTY sure they could find themselves a horney human customer or 100

Yeah, but there insides and cervix are all effed up...I bet the doc is like "WTF is wrong with your ____ cavity."

money, or lack of it forces them to do it. Like those Brazilian chicas that do it.

Now, the euro gals, they on another level, a 8 dog gangbang, WTF?

[Jizzacked]

sick story but related to the discussion in this thread...

years ago on anabolex one cat there was bragging that he used to stick his fingers up his ass, and then tell the youngsters in his neighborhood that he had just banged out some bitch and let them smell his fingers.  he would have a good laugh as they all would say how great it smelled, thinking it was actually pussy juice they were inhaling.