Rumor has it that this 24-hour old man actually lost his virginity when he was only 8 hours old (a new world record by the way). His first lay was a skinny bitch however and she never made with the head. At 10 hours old, this guy was hammered at a party and a little high on oxycodin and had is first sexual experience with a fat chick, obviously she got to sucking his dick real quick, as most fat girls do. This guy liked the experience so much that he immidiately became, what is commonly known as, a chubby chaser. From hours 11 to 18 of his life, this dude had an endless string of sexual fantasies played out with women who had cottage cheese thighs, cankles, spare tires, and back cleavage. At 19 hours of life this guy met a a 34 year old heffer named Rita Jones, they fell in love and were married at the tender age of 20-hours (another world record.) Only 2 hours later, Rita lost the weight, turned bitchy and divorced him and took off with of all his hard earned money. Broken hearted and alone, this poor guy went on alcohol and cocain fueled bender, and wasted the entire 23rd hour of his life drowning his sorrows in a bottle of Jack Daniels. About 1 hour later he passed out in the back of bus and woke up at this party in Nebraska, not really knowing where he was and still bitter about his divorce, he sees this fat bitch Ana Godfrey, and drunkenly mutters out the fact that she is fat. Unfortunatly for him, she didn't take kindly and he lost part of his ear precisley one day after he was born.
It's a sad story, sad but true.
