Sports dad question

[Tre]

Me again...

The quick-and-dirty:

After 3 years, we've decided to leave our local softball league at the end of this season.  It's an unfortunate parting because of the relationships we've developed, but it's made easier by the fact that the league president doesn't even have his own daughter in the league.  Props to him, though - he actually coaches her travel team, which is based in another town.  

There isn't enough overall work in terms of player development, nor do the in-game rules provide for an enjoyable learning experience for the girls (and parents).  As a result, historically, there's very poor retention into the older divisions, and so you end up with talent voids on some of the older teams, and once at that level (12u) in addition to holding back your better players, it's doubly frustrating, because the teams aren't often competitive enough to hang with other local teams.  They aren't considered travel teams, but because of the small numbers of girls, they play against other 12u and 14u teams within a 30-mile radius.

We have four 10u, three 12u, two 14u, and NO 16u teams.  One of our 12u teams is having a great season, but while it's something exciting to build from, they're 4 years away from being able to dominate the local 16s and by then, the better players with money will be on travel teams.

So, that leads to my question. Have any of you dads had to deal with small-town sports politics, but still wanted to help a league develop?  If so, did you feel any obligation whatsoever to keep your own child involved, even though it might hamper his/her player development?  I feel no such obligation (we've done our part), but just wondering how some of you dealt with it.  

I think my feeling stems from the fact that I don't want to have a 'take my ball and go home' attitude about it. I really do want our program to thrive, but unlike Abraham, I am not willing to sacrifice my only child to achieve that.  I know life wasn't meant to be fair, but for the girls with talent whose families cannot afford to support them on a travel team, I think the local rec league should still of sufficient quality to provide an experience for them that won't leave them too far behind to be competitive on the HS varsity team.

[G_Thang]

well...i didnt read thru the whole thing tre but a cousin (3rd gen) of mine coaches youth/park football teams with his three sons (one got scholarship to Kansas).  anyway...after his sons are gone...he is still active with other kids despite two jokers that run the youth programs...does it for the kids and the contribution he says.  i'm not sure if i answered your question.

[El Diablo Blanco]

Me again...

The quick-and-dirty:

After 3 years, we've decided to leave our local softball league at the end of this season.  It's an unfortunate parting because of the relationships we've developed, but it's made easier by the fact that the league president doesn't even have his own daughter in the league.  Props to him, though - he actually coaches her travel team, which is based in another town.  

There isn't enough overall work in terms of player development, nor do the in-game rules provide for an enjoyable learning experience for the girls (and parents).  As a result, historically, there's very poor retention into the older divisions, and so you end up with talent voids on some of the older teams, and once at that level (12u) in addition to holding back your better players, it's doubly frustrating, because the teams aren't often competitive enough to hang with other local teams.  They aren't considered travel teams, but because of the small numbers of girls, they play against other 12u and 14u teams within a 30-mile radius.

We have four 10u, three 12u, two 14u, and NO 16u teams.  One of our 12u teams is having a great season, but while it's something exciting to build from, they're 4 years away from being able to dominate the local 16s and by then, the better players with money will be on travel teams.

So, that leads to my question. Have any of you dads had to deal with small-town sports politics, but still wanted to help a league develop?  If so, did you feel any obligation whatsoever to keep your own child involved, even though it might hamper his/her player development?  I feel no such obligation (we've done our part), but just wondering how some of you dealt with it.  

I think my feeling stems from the fact that I don't want to have a 'take my ball and go home' attitude about it. I really do want our program to thrive, but unlike Abraham, I am not willing to sacrifice my only child to achieve that.  I know life wasn't meant to be fair, but for the girls with talent whose families cannot afford to support them on a travel team, I think the local rec league should still of sufficient quality to provide an experience for them that won't leave them too far behind to be competitive on the HS varsity team.

We have four 10u, three 12u, two 14u, and NO 16u teams?  Gh15 made it clear that 15 iu a day is enough HGH.

[Tre]

well...i didnt read thru the whole thing tre but a cousin (3rd gen) of mine coaches youth/park football teams with his three sons (one got scholarship to Kansas).  anyway...after his sons are gone...he is still active with other kids despite two jokers that run the youth programs...does it for the kids and the contribution he says.  i'm not sure if i answered your question.

Thanks, man. I wasn't raised to be selfish, but it's frustrating and I understand why so many parents jet and take their kids to select teams. The college money is just too big to ignore these days, so it's good to hear about people sticking with the rec programs. I wonder how many parents my age are doing that.

Our kid's rec coach is in a tough spot. Softball is her life (took her to college), but her kid hates it and mom makes her play. I wonder how many years the parent will spend trying to make her daughter just like her.

I hate softball/baseball myself, but my kid loves the game and is really talented, so I have to give her every opportunity to succeed. 

[G_Thang]

1
Thanks, man. I wasn't raised to be selfish, but it's frustrating and I understand why so many parents jet and take their kids to select teams. The college money is just too big to ignore these days, so it's good to hear about people sticking with the rec programs. I wonder how many parents my age are doing that.

Our kid's rec coach is in a tough spot. Softball is her life (took her to college), but her kid hates it and mom makes her play. I wonder how many years the parent will spend trying to make her daughter just like her.

I hate softball/baseball myself, but my kid loves the game and is really talented, so I have to give her every opportunity to succeed.  

fast pitch?  if there is a chance down the road for a scholarship...i'd follow her thru if i was you.  she could get in a nice school for a fee ride.  i'd let her develop.  i did john brown (fball) park leagues before high school but lost interest by senior yr which i probably could have gotten a ride with a bottom D1 but good with academics.  cuban but no eye/hand for baseball n built like a safety so soccer wasnt an option.

i know u do net stuff also.  do you coach any of the teams or willing to take that type of roll since you arent stuck with a 9-5?      

[240 is Back]

See if the president of the league is into muscle chicks.

let them service him.

Blackmail him with the videotape.

[Tre]

fast pitch?  if there is a chance down the road for a scholarship...i'd follow her thru if i was you.  she could get in a nice school for a fee ride.  i'd let her develop.  i did john brown (fball) park leagues before high school but lost interest by senior yr which i probably could have gotten a ride with a bottom D1 but good with academics.  cuban but no eye/hand for baseball n built like a safety so soccer wasnt an option.

i know u do net stuff also.  do you coach any of the teams or willing to take that type of roll since you arent stuck with a 9-5?     

lol @ a Cuban who can't play baseball 

Yeah, that's the same thing my baby mama called me out on.    I was asst. coach for kiddo's very first year of T-ball (we were in SoCal then, where softball was a religion), but have only done team photos since then.  I've volunteered to coach soccer this fall, but have not yet heard from the league on whether they'll use me.  The rec soccer program here is pretty nice.

They do play fast pitch, although for the 8u division, we should really be doing coach (or machine) pitch only.  Because there are so few girls who can pitch, the games really do drag.  We've had cases where some of the girls didn't get to bat once. 

Academics first was drilled into my head from an early age, so I never even thought about the possibility of getting a scholarship. I then transferred to a HS that had no football team, but was the top academic school in the state.  Trade-off. 

As a dad, I love seeing my little girl having so much fire at this age, but best of all, even though she's by far the best player on her team, she's always positive and supportive of her teammates.  Never once has she complained or yelled at anyone for making a mistake.  The other day, we had 2 girls actually boo a teammate who struck out.  Can you believe that?  Meanwhile, after a tough loss, my kid went out of her way to track down one of the opposing players to congratulate her on a great game.  I can't tell you how proud that made me. 

[Tre]

Ask your daughter yet? What does she want to do?

She's really into softball, soccer, tennis, and golf.  Right now, she's focused on softball and was able to get an age waiver for the Nike camp.  But, her mother decided to veto that idea, so kid's just going to do the day camp at Sac State this summer.  

She wants to play a more competitive brand of softball, but is deeply loyal to her current teammates.  She would gladly play with them all next season, but even though I did present the option, the decision to move to select level in softball is all hers.  (for soccer, I am not giving her the option this year, but will when she's 9)

[jtsunami]

Me again...

The quick-and-dirty:

After 3 years, we've decided to leave our local softball league at the end of this season.  It's an unfortunate parting because of the relationships we've developed, but it's made easier by the fact that the league president doesn't even have his own daughter in the league.  Props to him, though - he actually coaches her travel team, which is based in another town.  

There isn't enough overall work in terms of player development, nor do the in-game rules provide for an enjoyable learning experience for the girls (and parents).  As a result, historically, there's very poor retention into the older divisions, and so you end up with talent voids on some of the older teams, and once at that level (12u) in addition to holding back your better players, it's doubly frustrating, because the teams aren't often competitive enough to hang with other local teams.  They aren't considered travel teams, but because of the small numbers of girls, they play against other 12u and 14u teams within a 30-mile radius.

We have four 10u, three 12u, two 14u, and NO 16u teams.  One of our 12u teams is having a great season, but while it's something exciting to build from, they're 4 years away from being able to dominate the local 16s and by then, the better players with money will be on travel teams.

So, that leads to my question. Have any of you dads had to deal with small-town sports politics, but still wanted to help a league develop?  If so, did you feel any obligation whatsoever to keep your own child involved, even though it might hamper his/her player development?  I feel no such obligation (we've done our part), but just wondering how some of you dealt with it.  

I think my feeling stems from the fact that I don't want to have a 'take my ball and go home' attitude about it. I really do want our program to thrive, but unlike Abraham, I am not willing to sacrifice my only child to achieve that.  I know life wasn't meant to be fair, but for the girls with talent whose families cannot afford to support them on a travel team, I think the local rec league should still of sufficient quality to provide an experience for them that won't leave them too far behind to be competitive on the HS varsity team.

are you the guy who called into the Glen beck show about this very same topic a few weeks ago!??

[Tre]

are you the guy who called into the Glen beck show about this very same topic a few weeks ago!??

Weird. I occasionally check on Beck, but nah, that wasn't me. 

You should let her play where she wants then, and not push anything. If she has the natural talent, it'll happen for her whether you put her in a select league or not. When you have talent, scouts can find you. Or, an enterprising dad with a career in the photojournalistic arts can put together a highlight reel of his daughter's key moments, and send that on to D-1 schools (hint hint). It doesn't matter where she plays, as long as she has fun.

If she likes playing with her girlfriends, that's what's important. She'll cherish the memories of playing with her friends more than she will playing more competitive ball.

When I look back on my years playing ball, it wasn't playing college football that was most memorable believe it or not (even though that was the most competitive ball I ever played). My most memorable season was a single season I played in a league for washed up has-beens who couldn't let go of the game. I was red-shirted my first year, and wanted more field experience than simply running scout team in practice. So that spring, i played in a wash-out league for old pros and vets and almost-pros. It was great. I had fun, made friends...even though I knew it was going nowhere. Best football of my life, and it had nothing to do with the quality of the game.

When your daughter is old enough, she'll tell you what she really wants out of softball. Until then, just watch her have fun and try to recapture your youth thru her. She won't be young for long and soon she'll be gone. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Great counsel, man. Thanks. It's been a great ride, no question.  While there are plenty of talented athletes out there around her age, she just amazes me with the things she can do that I wasn't capable of until I was much older, so it makes me think the sky is the limit. At the cages last night, she had to move up a speed level, and I couldn't believe she was able to pick the ball up and get her bat around so quickly on it.  She's not going to see speeds like that for another 4 years on the field probably. lol  One of the dads (whose older son couldn't hit so well) commented, "Wow, she's got a quick bat!" as she exited and I just smiled, thanked him and said, "Yeah, she works hard."

Things are so different from when I was coming up.  They start tracking kids now as young as age 10 for the premier programs nationwide and as you might expect, many of those kids eventually earn scholarships because they've had eyes on them for so long.  It's tough to preserve childhood in a climate like that, but that's our new reality.