THE BEEF loves Carl's radio show and takes something away from all of em and because of this, THE BEEF wants the world to know more about Carl.
Please read the following facts:
- Police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
- His hair alone has experienced more than a lesser mans body.
- His blood smells like cologne.
- He has amassed an amazingly large DVD collection, and has never once alphabetised it.
- If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
- The pheromones he secretes effect people miles away… in a slight, but measurable way.
- He once punched a magician. That’s right, you heard me.
- His hands feel like rich, brown swede.
- He lived in the hills of the Serengeti for a summer after being gifted a wife by a local tribes men.
- He owns 4 sports cars, and rents 5.
- He taught a horse to read his email for him.
- He was the featured man at a bachelorette auction he brought in over 13 million euro, under the table.
- His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards.
- Even his enemy’s list him as there emergency contact.
- He never say’s anything taste like chicken… Not even chicken.
- He speeks fluent French, in Russian.
- His charm is so contagious, vaccines we’re created for it.
- Years ago, he created a city out of blocks. Today over 600,000 people live and work there.
- He is the only person to ever ace a Rorschach Test.
- Every time he goes for a swim. Dolphins appear.
- Alien abductors have asked him, to probe them.
- If he we’re to give you directions… You would never get lost. And you’d arrive at least 5 minutes early.
- His legend precedes him, the way lightning precedes thunder.
- His reputation is expanding, faster then the universe.
- He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.
- He lives vicariously through himself.
- It is never too early to start beefing up your obituary (thanks Bruce)
- He’s been known to cure narcolepsy just by walking into a room.
- He’s a lover… Not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so Don’t get any ideas.
THE BEEF
