Cont
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Both women were arrested and taken to Palm Beach County Jail. According to Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Department, both women had logged online to Wonkette where they began reading a post about Sarah Palin. The Palm Beach County Sheriff Ric Bradshaw said that the post made mention to the new size of Palin’s breasts and whether or not Sarah Palin had work done.
“Apparently,” stated Sheriff Bradshaw, “Ms. Mapes alleged that Ms. Palin had some work done. Ms. Billner, on the other hand, suggested that she had no work done. Soon, the discussion deteriorated to an argument, and then to a fight where deputies arrived to find the women covered in mayonnaise, and Ms. Mapes attempting to shove a ketchup packet up Ms. Billner’s nose. Both women were arrested and have been detained here in the Palm Beach County Jail where they currently await bond.”
“What’s a shame here,” added Sheriff Bradshaw, “is that these women went to blows over Wonkette. In fact, what is Wonkette? Is it a blog? Is it a news site? I think it’s a steaming pile of Mastodon dung that’s written for eighth graders. It’s gutter trash made for liberals that can barely even wipe their own ass. You know…morons of the highest order. I think the District Attorney should sue that place into submission. Even garbage has some appeal.”
The McDonald’s store manager Dick Simons noted that in the future Wonkette will no longer be allowed to be read in his McDonald’s restaurant. “This restaurant has now become a No-Wonkette Zone,” notes Simons. “If I see anyone reading, Wonkette, out they go. The site is stupidity personified. The writing is pathetic and childish. It makes me feel as though I need a long, deep enema.”
Assistant Store Manager Stella Makes thought the whole affair was exciting. “I will admit, though,” stated Makes, “that this is the first time I’ve seen two liberals fight over Sarah Palin’s breasts. That was kind of fun to watch them tear each other apart. Especially, when Ms. Billner shoved Ms. Mape’s head under the mayonnaise container and squirted it all over her. That was classic! I would have loved to see the fight end. I was kind of rooting for the lady with the A Cup. Every once in a while, it’s nice to see a woman with tiny breasts win, but it was not to be on this day.”
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Ha ha ha.
