i go to bed at midnite, don't fall asleep till 5-7am. sleep till noon. at least 12 hours in bed every night trying to get 6 hours sleep. pure hell. been like this since i was 3 years old. people that sleep well have no idea what a luxury that is. i would pay half a million dollars if someone could gaurentee me that i could fall asleep at midnite and wake up refreshed at 8 am every day for the rest of my life.
Hazbin why dont you try meditation?
I ve had similar problems in the past, I was a heavy drinker, gave that up then got addicted to xanax.I was in and out of jobs and drifted
around europe for about 5 years and then found myself in Australia, worked there for a few years in construction, I thought I was in control of
my life but at the same time depressed and felt something was missing in life.I left Australia and moved to Chiangmai (northern thailand) where im
currently living.Here I found out about the "middle way meditation" through some monks and thought what the hell I ll give it go, been doing it now
for the past 5 months and can honestly say its brought me peace and more importantly the gift of enjoying life something I rarely found comfort in.
I only spend 30mins first thing in the morning and 30mins before I sleep at night and it really brings my mind back into my body.Your probarly thinking what
the hell does that mean....well in todays world we re always thinking about something or other like work or some girl or why isn t there enough money in my bank account, the past,future etc, everytime your thinking about these things or anything for that matter your mind is actually there and not where it should be, back inside your body.This creates unrest and stress which in turn leads to alot of physical problems.The minds home is located at your centre point of gravity
around your mid section, people believe that your mind is your brain but that is just the office it uses for thinking, your mind (soul) rests at your centre.
When you meditate you bring your mind back into your body and essentially your seeing through your "minds eye".Also another thing I believe is helping other people, donate something small to charity, its better to give only 5 bucks with good intentions than to give a million because you feel you have too.Do positive things that can make a small difference, help somebody out, be nice to your work colleges, phone your mom more often, you get the picture, doing these simple acts in them self will bring really good karma into your life and will manifest into your physical well being.
Also ask yourself what really brings me joy in life, for me its simple things like hitting the gym, strumming my guitar (im shit) but still enjoy strumming
a few chords, playing with my dog and spending time with my girlfriend.Whats yours?
The universe is not some place "out there" rather its inside you, all of us.If you want to find the answers your looking for in life start within yourself and they will be there.You dont need to spend half a million dollars buddy.
Right now im teaching english in a primary school here and also volunteer at a school for burmese refugees, seeing these little kids and what they ve experienced in their lives you could not even imagine or believe it if I told you, it really opens your eyes and appreciate little things in life
Good luck to you and I hope you can find what your looking for.
regards