um Ive been racist against blacks all my life, so dont label it cause of her situation
So, that's part of your problem. Well, it's good you admit flaws and failings and issues. Sad, that you live in squalor and yet just can't make your way out of the hole, you share a lot with the people you can't stand---you allow your skin color to hold you back...
BTW, if you are reading MK, then you would know that Big H was all for getting rid of mentally unfit peoples, which means you....something to think about.