How to fight a fat man...

[devilsmile]

Why not just bite his trunk  

vince basile's grand child and xerxes right dere  

even under death the fat boy could only think of the cookie on xerxes's table he was gonna steal... sickening 

[Parker]

Now thats just wrong......

Sorry, just offer a glass of Orange Juice...

[ManBearPig...]

Sorry, just offer a glass of Orange Juice...

This reminds me of my run with a diabetic about 10 years ago.

I was at the gas station off the highway getting some cigarettes, and this bus full of black kids pulls up.  the reason i mentioned it's off the highway cuz that's the only place i'd see black folk growing up, and life was good.

anyways, this fat black chick comes out of the bus, runs up to the guy behind the counter, and goes "you need to give me a bottle of orange juice right now, i'm diabetic"

and he's like "ok, 1.50" or whatever.

and she's like "you need to give me a bottle of OJ right now, i ain't got no fucking money and i'm diabetic, i'm going into shock".

he looks at me like i'm gonna do something, and i just kinda nervously look away.

then another less fat black chick walks in and goes "mothafucka, give her some OJ she diabetic, she gonna go into shock, and you gonna have all kinds of fucked up shit going down here with the ambalamps"

so the poor indian shmuck gives her a bottle, she just takes it, downs it and walks away.  no thank you, no fuck you, nothing.  fucking piece of shit, he should've let her die.

[Parker]

This reminds me of my run with a diabetic about 10 years ago.

I was at the gas station off the highway getting some cigarettes, and this bus full of black kids pulls up.  the reason i mentioned it's off the highway cuz that's the only place i'd see black folk growing up, and life was good.

anyways, this fat black chick comes out of the bus, runs up to the guy behind the counter, and goes "you need to give me a bottle of orange juice right now, i'm diabetic"

and he's like "ok, 1.50" or whatever.


and she's like "you need to give me a bottle of OJ right now, i ain't got no fucking money and i'm diabetic, i'm going into shock"

he looks at me like i'm gonna do something, and i just kinda nervously look away.

then another less fat black chick walks in and goes "mothafucka, give her some OJ she diabetic, she gonna

go into shock, and you gonna have all kinds of fucked up shit going down here with the ambalamps"

so the poor indian shmuck gives her a bottle, she just takes it, downs it and walks away.  no thank you, no fuck you, nothing.  fucking piece of shit, he should've let her die.

see, I would have said, you have any proof that you are diabetic,

But she was a fat kid, and fat kids tend to be spoiled, demanding shit, she should have had a handful of candy in her pocket, or a bottle of sweet tea or juice...

[funk51]

No disrespect to anyone on here, but me and a former college friend had laughed about what this dude in college told us. All three of us were walking down our dorm hallway, and this one dude who was a "college thug", said that in order to fight a fat guy, you don't punch them in the gut, you grab their love handles, which contain tons of nerves, and they will squeal like a pig, we were like bullshit. So he knocks on this door, and a fat dude opens the door, and dude real quickly grabs his love handles, fat dude howls and then squeals like a pig and drops to the ground fast in pain. Like he'd been shot by a taser. Everybody opens their doors and fat dude is lying there out of breath on the verge of tears and pissed off. Thug Negro, walk away and said "I proved my point."

has anybody ever heard of this?

So, in order to beat Fedor, grab him by the love handles

i would just throw cookies at him he would forget about fighting. doughnuts would probably work good too.

[spinnis]

No disrespect to anyone on here, but me and a former college friend had laughed about what this dude in college told us. All three of us were walking down our dorm hallway, and this one dude who was a "college thug", said that in order to fight a fat guy, you don't punch them in the gut, you grab their love handles, which contain tons of nerves, and they will squeal like a pig, we were like bullshit. So he knocks on this door, and a fat dude opens the door, and dude real quickly grabs his love handles, fat dude howls and then squeals like a pig and drops to the ground fast in pain. Like he'd been shot by a taser. Everybody opens their doors and fat dude is lying there out of breath on the verge of tears and pissed off. Thug Negro, walk away and said "I proved my point."

has anybody ever heard of this?

So, in order to beat Fedor, grab him by the love handles

hahahahahahahaahahahahah

no way it works in an actualy fight though. still hillarious haha

[Master Blaster]

have the fat guy throw a big gulp at your car, then kick his ass,........oh wait, nevermind

One time when I was biking home in the rain this group of kids pulled up and threw this giant big gulp full of ice at me and it splashed all over me. Man, i've never pedaled so fast, trying to chase them down. They just drove away laughing.   

[Rearden Metal]

I'm not trying to sound like a tough guy I kow someone will say that but I swear to god when I was 17 I got into a fight outside bye a bonfire. I wresteld this dude to the ground. I didn't really know what to do. I punched him a few times he just kind of held onto my arms. He stuck his finger all the way as far as he could into my eye socket. I didn't even feel it. He left three huge claw marks on my face like Bruce Lee in enter the dragon. Someone yelled he's gonna poke your eye out. When I realized what he was doing I turned my head to the side and bit down on his figer with my molares. I felt it crunch and tasted blood. I felt all of the life come out of him after that. I hit him once or twice and than got off.

Jackin' off on your victim is always a bonus.

[spinnis]

This reminds me of my run with a diabetic about 10 years ago.

I was at the gas station off the highway getting some cigarettes, and this bus full of black kids pulls up.  the reason i mentioned it's off the highway cuz that's the only place i'd see black folk growing up, and life was good.

anyways, this fat black chick comes out of the bus, runs up to the guy behind the counter, and goes "you need to give me a bottle of orange juice right now, i'm diabetic"

and he's like "ok, 1.50" or whatever.

and she's like "you need to give me a bottle of OJ right now, i ain't got no fucking money and i'm diabetic, i'm going into shock".

he looks at me like i'm gonna do something, and i just kinda nervously look away.

then another less fat black chick walks in and goes "mothafucka, give her some OJ she diabetic, she gonna go into shock, and you gonna have all kinds of fucked up shit going down here with the ambalamps"

so the poor indian shmuck gives her a bottle, she just takes it, downs it and walks away.  no thank you, no fuck you, nothing.  fucking piece of shit, he should've let her die.

this shit would have made me nuts