So over the past what will be 1 month this coming Thursday, I've decided to clean myself up...I quit pot, got back in the gym (naturally...for now), and cleaned up what I was eating and started eating more than two meals per day.
I always wondered if there was any truth to the claims that people had anywhere from 2-25lbs (1-12 kilos) of impacted crap in their system and I was always weary of having a tube put up "me bum" and water being shot up there...
Finally, curiosity got the best of me and I set up an appointment with a local place here in Vegas called "A Gentle Cleanse"...The owner is a decent looking Italian broad in her early 50s...
She took me into the room and explained what I was supposed to do in detail..You have to put the tube your own ass or you can't get the cleanse (it states that on a little poster on the wall in the room)...
So, I strip down put the backwards hospital gown on they provided (I hate those things). Put lube on the tube, put lube on my ass (no homo), and lay on the contraption that is a mixture of a bed and a toilet....The tube is about the same circumference as a pencil so inserting it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...(no homo)...
Here is a video of the owner's now ex-boyfriend (she told me she dumped him cause he was a 40 year old man that took too many bodybuilding drugs...no joke
)
So after I'm prepped and spread on the bed/toilet, I ring the bell and she comes in and explains to me what will happen and how to operate things...She turns on a video to relax me and leaves and tells me if I need anything or if there's an emergency to ring the bell...
She turns to water on and tells me when I get the feeling that I'm full and have to take a crap, to gently push and the water along with whatever is in my body will be expelled in the tube and flow to what is called the "view tube". The view tube is where you can watch all the crap and "toxins" go from your body, to the tube, to the sewer...
My appointment was pretty early that day and I hadn't eaten but did take my morning dump and didn't think there was going to be much coming out...I was wrong...The process lasted about 45 min and the temperature fluctuates arriving at its peak of 101 degrees Fahrenheit (38.3 C). For the most part it was as comfortable as you can get with a tube up your ass with water filling your high intestines...There was alot of crap and odd colored things that were expelled. Tons of gas bubbles, mucus and unknowns...about half way through the procedure I started feel nauseated and sick which is normal...You're stirring around old shit and toxins...She came in to check on me and gave me clean-up procedures.
After I was finished she gave me a drink to replenish the good bacteria, I paid and moved on, my stomach was really flat and I was really hungry..There's a list of foods you should avoid for the next 24 hours and I did...The rest of the day was filled with me running to the toilet pissing from my penis or my ass...
...I turned in early that night as I was drained...I got up the next day and weighed myself and I was 3 lbs lighter...I thought it was because I hadn't eaten that much but as of today and three days of normal eating (clean protein and carbs) I'm still down three pounds...All-in-all I think it was worth it but I'm not going to make it a permanent part of my repertoire.
NO HOMO, NO HOMO, NO HOMO.
