A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.
This means that the remaining 77% are caused by a$$holes that just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, energy drinks, and stuff like that.
Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.
This message is sent by someone who worries about your well-being.
Pretty soon it won't even be legal to masturbate on airplanes anymore.....
