hey alex 
Nah....neither fat nor French.
I'm just a self-proclaimed "awesome", steroid abusing, 28 year-old twink, that still lives with mommy and daddy (and strippers

) cause I don't like paying rent, but I have a CSSC certificate and I have very worldy views - even though I've never been west of Houston. I'm not a loser - honest. They girls at the strip club where I check IDs will vouch for me - honest.
Oh wait, that's not me....