try contacting him...
Doug, you're a cool man...by Western standards, suicide ain't the way to go, it's selfish, of course you know this...but what really led to your thoughts?
He made his choice and i will always wonder why?? The sight of me still seeing what i encountered that night still shocks me.
I will never get it out of my mind. I mean, i knew he needed help but as a man, you always just think it will get better for anyone and everyone but it did not turn around for my friend. I cried, got angry, stayed angry because i lost a "True Friend". I remember the thoughts of hanging with women, watching games, laughing, chilling, partying,..etc. I mean, dude could have just asked for help but he Left his friends and family with questions and not answers. The sad thing is that i still wake up when i can sleep which ain't much....it never leaves my mind. It's kinda like, if i let some girl get close to me, i know they will laugh or think it is funny.....I mean, we worked together too, trained together, had parties out the house, balled out together, watched games, opened up and most dudes ain't doing that but dude did.....
I always told him, "It will always get worse before it gets better". I wonder if that is what drove him to committ suicide. I said that i was sorry to his family but even though i am in a different state, i wonder, did they feel that i truly did all i could.
