My friend Jim was married to a real bitch of a woman. Her and Jim decided to set me up on a blind date to attend a wedding with her younger sister. Jim and his wife invite me over the night before the sister is to arrive, to lay out some "ground rules". Before I leave, Jim's wife tells me to shave off my beard and to get a haircut because my hair looks like a "helmet".
So I did what any real man would have done...I shaved my beard into the shape of a football helmet chinstrap and went to the wedding like that.
I ended up giving "little sis" about an hour of grudge doggie style in the parking lot at Montrose Harbor and then took her back to the Palmer House and made her get us a room.
Years later all was forgiven.....
