that's right my getbig fans. i have just returned from sunny Florida on vacation.
it was nice and warm - unlike Scotland has been this past month (icy cold)
i enjoyed it very much and would like to offer my thoughts on Florida and America as a whole.
1. the drivers are terrible - everyone talks on their mobile, everyone weaves in and out of traffic without signalling, they drive through red lights, and i actually saw a woman driving while talking on her mobile AND painting her toe nails !!!!! there was not a single day i was there that i didn't see a smashed car by the side of the road - no wonder.
2. food portions are huge - anything you order, i specifically asked for a little steak at a golden corral and got what looked like the entire side of a cow on my plate. fries were piled so high they would fall off my plate as the waitress carried it over. also dirt cheap
3. Americans are stupid beyond belief - i knew this already with my interactions here, but really do you even have an education system
at the airport the security guy made my 80 year old wheelchair bound grandmother wait for over an hour trying to get her fingerprints on some digital scanner that kept giving an error - the error was in fact with his brain as he didn't know his left from his right and kept scanning my grans left hand when it should have been her right and vice versa
4. Spanish is actually the official language of Florida - i had no idea, everywhere i went, everyone i spoke to with a golden tan would reply with Ola ? por que ? and other things i had no clue about.
5. Latino women are hot hot hot - really really super sexy, friendly too.
6. white Americans have no dress sense - the sights i saw there were beyond belief. mullets are still a fashion trend it seems. women were all obese or skanky thin. pale pasty skin or dirty looking. dressed in cheap jeans and plain white t-shirts - either super baggy or skin tight
most of the fat ones had black guys as boyfriends.
7. black Americans will fuck anything - any shape, size, looks. they also talk very loudly, like they want everyone to hear what they are talking about. some were also not particularly friendly i was buying some shoes in a store and shonique asked me if i wanted insurance or something i told her firmly NO , she gave me this dirty look like ' oh no you didn't' and made a ugghhh noise. i thought perhaps i insulted her somehow, maybe by staring at her strange tall beehive hairstyle or her tits, or maybe in my stern clear tone ( which i have to because Americans cannot understand the Scottish accent sometimes) , so i was extra nicer to her and she seemed a little more happy ( although avoided all eye contact)
8. Americans are very confident and friendly in general - they will approach you and ask you things out of the blue, with no embarrassment - where are y'all from, where did you get that t-shirt, etc probably a Glasgow thing but we are very closed and not always approachable, so this was strange for me. in Glasgow if someone asks where you got your shirt - they are about to try to rob you.
9. your health care system is nothing short of a disgrace - overpriced robbery. my mother was in a car crash ( a driver drove through a red light at in intersection and destroyed her car) she was lucky to escape with her life. she sustained bruised ribs, a fractured spine and concussion. in total they ran a few scans, gave her some pain killer (vicodin and perceset) and on another occasion injected a medical cement into her spine - total cost $40000+ also she works and has health insurance, yet they still couldn't get her out the door quick enough just a few hours after the crash, calling her a taxi to take her home alone, even though she was still dizzy and weak. she told them she felt terrible and they forced her out - where she collapsed.
in Scotland she would have been scanned, given pain killers and operated on within the same timescale and it would be free. we also would not kick someone out of hospital who had just been in a major traffic accident, complaining of severe dizziness, headaches, pain and weakness. you need to really get over this irrational fear of socialised health care.
10. your welfare system - i was told if you are made unemployed you only get wellfair for 2 months - then you get nothing
i don't know how true this is as it seems crazy to me. perhaps some Americans can clarify this. while i hate the idea of people that have never worked a day in their life getting government handouts for life, the alternative to not getting anything after 2 months is barbaric. there are people who want to work, and apply for jobs regularly but simply cannot get a job - i have been there myself. what choice do people have except crime
they have to survive somehow?
11. - amazing gyms - planetfitness has a great $10 a month fee with no long term contract, plus tons of machines etc - really put Glasgow gyms to shame in all aspects.
12. - size of people - i felt small in America, both in height and weight. i felt thin due to so many fatties, and short too with all those dudes over 6'. also i saw lots of well built dudes all over, it was clear that lots of guys workout out.
any getbiggers live in Florida ? or europeans that have visited - do you feel the same ? do you disagree ?
