I spent a couple months in England, Italy, Germany & Lithuania. They all kinda sucked except London and southern England. I'm no heartpounding nationalist, but I'm starting to believe thoroughly what is seemingly common knowledge. The U.S., for all it's rednecks, wiggers, negroes, crackheads and hobags, really is the greatest place on earth.
Here's a rant my good friend wrote recently about Europe that I'm starting to agree with.
One of my favorite people in the whole wide world tells me "You have to travel Europe", "You HAVE to!!!!"
Really? Do I?? Really? I don't HAVE to do anything. What if I told you you HAD to read every Shakespeare play in order to be cultured?? What if you had no interest? What if you liked Stephen King novels over reading plays from the 1500's? Would people tell you you are uncultured? Stephen King would kick that fruit Shakespeare's ass BTW then probably disembowel him with a dull butter knife, my opinion... What if I told you you HAD to let me kick you in the gonads? You HAD to- or you wouldn't be able to appreciate true pain. I think you would pass. That's about how I feel with the cities of Europe.
You know I had a girlfriend that one reason (one of the MANY) why we broke up was I wasn't excited about seeing Rome or Paris with her? REALLY MENSA?
How many times do I have to hear this happy horseshit about an old broken down part of the world, over-ridden by dilapidated architecture, and people that really don't want me in their country?
I have been to St. Thomas, St. Martin, Casamel, Cabo, San Juan, Grand Kaymans, Bahamas, Bermuda etc etc. I love it. I friggin love it. White sand, clear blue water. Drinks in friggin cocunuts!
Girls in bikinis.. perfect weather- amazing scenery. Cheap money too. I spent 2 weeks in Cabo airfare included for less than $1,500.
Can you even fly to shit-stain Europe for $1,500 ?? Where can I get a drink in a coconut shell served to me by a girl in a grass skirt in Paris? Even if I could, it would be by a skinny pale chick and the only thing resembling a grass skirt would be the hair from her hairy french armpits- come on.
WE LEFT EUROPE FOR A REASON WHITE PEOPLE !!!! It BLOWS!
"You gotta see Big Ben Rick, You GOTTA!!!" The only GOOD thing about the Big Ben in London is that it doesn't rape girls in bathroom stalls (NFL football reference).
Also, I have seen Big Ben you pompous ass.. in the movie European Vacation! Clark W. Griswald pointed it out to me. I even saw it blow up in the movie 'V for Vendetta' and that was the best part!!
The best city in the world is NY city. I've been to NY 10-20 times. It sucks. It's over crowded, it smells like feet covered in shit, and there are bums on every corner. I go there because I am forced to for work- you think I would go there for FUN? You think I would pay $5-10k to go there?? That's how I feel about Europe. Big cities are all the same, and I have the best (the best crap in a giant pile of crap is still crap) city in the whole world 4 hours away!
I'm Italian- and the only reason I would go to Italy is if my grandparents showed me the old mountain town in which they grew up in- I can't think of any other reason! Hey Italians, the Coliseum is falling apart and you have a tower in Pisa that has been ready to fall over for a couple hundred years! Knock it down and put up town houses! If we had that in America we would knock that rubbish down and put up a retractable roof stadium! We are sick of paying money to see your trash! Where are the luxury boxes? How about Venice? You can tell me all day it doesn't smell- but we all know it does:
http://www.epinions.com/review/trvl-Dest-Europe-Italy-Venice/content_53241024132 "rank and putrid".
"You gotta see the Eiffel Tower Rick, You Gotta!!!" The Eiffel tower? What the hell is it? Is it me or is that the ugliest thing you have ever seen?? It looks like they never finished it!
Give me sand!! Miles and miles of sand! Give me perfect weather!
Now, if you can get me to a European beach for a good deal - I'll think about it- but can we ship in some nice islanders or Hispanics to replace the Eurotrash in their banana hammocks?
You don't have to try something to know it's not for you and it sucks. If I put a shit sandwich on your plate and tell you to eat it, you wouldn't.. How do you know you wouldn't love it? How do you know shit sandwiches wouldn't be your favorite food after you try it. You KNOW without experiencing it. Europe my fellow Americans... is a giant Shit-Sandwich.
"Hey, all you Europeans can dance in your wooden shoes and play your oompa loopma music and call it "culture," but 364 days out of the year you listen to OUR music, eat OUR food, watch OUR movies. There's a reason why all you euro's speak English, and there's a reason all pilots have to speak English -- because we kick ass. You had your time, and it's passed. As soon as WE bailed YOU out of WW2, we established our supremacy. So try to cling to what little power you have left, and we'll do our best to make you feel important." -- Whoever said this is borderline genius.
You can disagree all day long- but until you let me kick you in the gonads or eat a shit sandwich I don't want to hear your old world propaganda.
