you gotta create meaning in life to enjoy it your particular way, look ahead of your failures. You have no other choice, all negative thoughts correlate with suicide or killing a neighbor none of these lead to a fun future. Make sure that you can be happy with you first treat everyone decently, dont worry about how they treat you its a waste of your time to do so
its fun to make crazy music, i suggest all to mess around with instruments and just make up a song/story that you enjoy, make it funny, crazy, scary evil or sound unique
it doesnt hurt to record things that pop in your head with a handheld tape recorder
strive for something(s) in life, knowledge of trades and attain weath through them. dont try to gamble your way into money
strive most importantly for superior health