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Author Topic: Mistakes women make when having sex  (Read 1617 times)
chaos
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« on: March 24, 2011, 05:08:42 PM »

-Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is YOUR job.
-Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after a while. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.
-Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you.
- Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.
-Not shaving your legs. If you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.
-Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo-hoo dilly in your cha-cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.
-Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I suggest you get some knee pads.
-Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall".
-Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway.
-Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to cum, it's his way of showing that he cares if you get off.
-Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say NO like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt.
-Expecting him to undress you. Women put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn't always easy. Help a brother out.
-Undressing in the dark. If you're shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.
-Refusing to get on top. There's no reason men should have to do all the work.
-Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.
-Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's your body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.
-Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't. It's your choice to stop, but don't look all fucking surprised when he's confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?
-Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them.
-Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess.
-Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.
-Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.
-Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a threesome. It's every guys dream.
-Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god-awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.
-Nails. It's one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. It's another when you snag the goods with a claw.
-Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen. That's the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and can't jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.
-Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.
-Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know it's not working, he's not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.
-Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little... fishy... perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.
-Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved beforehand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.
-Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have these rare Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They'll wash.
-Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all it's cracked up to be.
-Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he's probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn't, get off another way with him. He's still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "forget it" and rolling over are not ok.

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andreisdaman
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« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2011, 05:17:09 PM »

Hey..nice post......never expected something like this from you Chaos.....all your points are right on....women have to be active participants when it comes to sex..you are right..it is THEIR job to get you aroused....some women I have been with expect you to be ready....then they act surprised when you ask them to suck it or massage it..maybe some of it is our fault as men because we have come to expect very little of women and we let them get away with being passive (lazy)

again..nice job Chaos
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chaos
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« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2011, 05:21:08 PM »

Hey..nice post......never expected something like this from you Chaos.....all your points are right on....women have to be active participants when it comes to sex..you are right..it is THEIR job to get you aroused....some women I have been with expect you to be ready....then they act surprised when you ask them to suck it or massage it..maybe some of it is our fault as men because we have come to expect very little of women and we let them get away with being passive (lazy)

again..nice job Chaos
Before you get out of hand........I stole that from Orsm.net. Dude always has great stuff on Thursday. Cool
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newmom
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« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2011, 05:24:26 PM »

insightful but MOST women know this..A few things to point out flubs


As far as condoms go, UM a woman shouldn't keep a fucking pharmacy of trojans by her nightstand for different sizes. If it's the first time feeling or anything else with his HOO HOO dilly (lmao) she don't know his size. So if he has a big HOO HOO dilly, he better bring the right size, cuz if it don't fit, it aint going into the cha cha..naw what I mean Grin

and ONE more thing, if his recoup time is to long, he better be ready to satisfy the woman AGAIN if she is..we don't want to hear about "oh I have had a long day, stress..bla bla..
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andreisdaman
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« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2011, 05:26:09 PM »

Before you get out of hand........I stole that from Orsm.net. Dude always has great stuff on Thursday. Cool


okay...good for you for being honest Smiley..I thought there was actually something in that conehead of yours
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chaos
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« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2011, 05:27:45 PM »


okay...good for you for being honest Smiley..I thought there was actually something in that conehead of yours
I'm always honest.....fuckface. Smiley
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newmom
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« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2011, 05:28:33 PM »

I'm always honest.....

that you are
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SS
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« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2011, 05:26:07 AM »

insightful but MOST women know this..A few things to point out flubs


As far as condoms go, UM a woman shouldn't keep a fucking pharmacy of trojans by her nightstand for different sizes. If it's the first time feeling or anything else with his HOO HOO dilly (lmao) she don't know his size. So if he has a big HOO HOO dilly, he better bring the right size, cuz if it don't fit, it aint going into the cha cha..naw what I mean Grin

and ONE more thing, if his recoup time is to long, he better be ready to satisfy the woman AGAIN if she is..we don't want to hear about "oh I have had a long day, stress..bla bla..
Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
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newmom
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« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2011, 05:46:05 AM »

Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes


oh stooopiddddddddddddddddd dddddddddddd, you know it's true
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w8m8
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« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2011, 05:59:25 AM »

Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you.

Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.

Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have these rare Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern.

fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all it's cracked up to be.


Mumbling "forget it" and rolling over are not ok.




 LOL
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Mr Nobody
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« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2011, 11:45:12 AM »

insightful but MOST women know this..A few things to point out flubs


As far as condoms go, UM a woman shouldn't keep a fucking pharmacy of trojans by her nightstand for different sizes. If it's the first time feeling or anything else with his HOO HOO dilly (lmao) she don't know his size. So if he has a big HOO HOO dilly, he better bring the right size, cuz if it don't fit, it aint going into the cha cha..naw what I mean Grin

and ONE more thing, if his recoup time is to long, he better be ready to satisfy the woman AGAIN if she is..we don't want to hear about "oh I have had a long day, stress..bla bla..
If the dude isnt large and in charge send him on his way so just pack large/X size.
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YoungBlood
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« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2011, 02:26:48 PM »

insightful but MOST women know this..

Then why has this list been made? Because you can now add that women refuse to listen!
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newmom
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« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2011, 02:37:46 PM »

Then why has this list been made? Because you can now add that women refuse to listen!

no because men think women arn't intune to their sexual needs and they all think with their hoo hoo dilly Roll Eyes
 Grin



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Migs
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« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2011, 07:59:18 PM »

thinking, that's their mistake when having sex
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« Reply #14 on: March 26, 2011, 04:15:48 AM »

Good, very good  Grin
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