If everybody thought the same way, then society, civilization wouldn't exist...
We are meant to be higher than what are, yet we choose not to be.
Those that run the program, don't think in the terms you have listed...
We know not what may become of our lineage 1000 yrs from now
you said you do nt wish to kill yourself at this time, which means you feel that there maybe a time in which you would---you left the option open.
Have you ever looked at a butterfly on a flower, and marveled at the beauty that is nature, that is life? The butterfly and it's colors, and the flower that its sitting on? And the nectar that the butterfly is drinking, and how everything corresponds to one another...the harmony and balance that exists? Ever pick up said butterfly (hard to do if they are skippers), and see the proboscis that is rolled up, and the scales that are on the butterfly, which give it it's color...you see the fragility of said butterfly and you let it go, because it's beauty represents nature...it's a metaphor for life, life is fragile and beautiful at the same time. And once you realize that, you realize that, life is not meaningless---life is about purpose...
And that is why many take upon your atitude, there is no purpose in life for them.
I have looked at much wildlife, butterflies, you name it, examined them very closely. Yes they are beautiful, and fragile. It is pretty low on the chain of life, I wouldn't say that makes life living. It is just another notch on the chain of animals that kills or be killed. Yes nature is very nice as well, but that doesn't make life meaningful. You can do anything and all in this world and when you die, it won't matter anymore, you are dead, period, no more, nothing. Life is nice for some while it lasts, for others it is not nice while it lasts. Suicide is always on the table, if you take it off you lose more control of your life. You should never take any action off the table whether it be murder, suicide, armed robbery, any drug in the world, if you leave your life open to doing all things, then you feel a sense of freedom you have never felt before. No longer trapped by laws or any societal norm.
