Author Topic: I need help with a problem regarding 'Sea Monkeys' (Read 28537 times)

gym**rat · « **Reply #150 on:** July 20, 2011, 06:20:18 AM »

Quote from: dutchguy on July 20, 2011, 06:17:49 AM

Just imagine: a hot chick could be ATM'ing your Sea Monkey !!!

Wouldn't that be considered a SMTM? Also, would be it manditory that I kiss her afterwards?

Dr Dutch · « **Reply #151 on:** July 20, 2011, 06:27:32 AM »

Monkey see, monkey do..

http://ask.metafilter.com/46778/How-to-cure-a-sweaty-bum-at-work

DK II · « **Reply #152 on:** July 20, 2011, 10:50:10 PM »

Quote from: gym**rat on July 19, 2011, 01:46:09 PM

Botox huh?? I have always wanted to have botox done on one testicle. I would then pop it out for my wife and tell her I have testicular cancer so I could get a pity blow job.

Thanks for the info though.

LMFAO!!!!

Samourai Pizzacat · « **Reply #153 on:** July 21, 2011, 01:41:16 AM »

Make sure you have 100% wool slacks, lots of cheaper slacks are of a polyester and wool mix, and they're much sweatier.

gym**rat · « **Reply #154 on:** July 21, 2011, 05:55:00 AM »

Quote from: Samourai Pizzacat on July 21, 2011, 01:41:16 AM

Make sure you have 100% wool slacks, lots of cheaper slacks are of a polyester and wool mix, and they're much sweatier.

I really do appreciate the advice but if I wore wool pants I would be constantly scratching. People in the meeting would be throwing me crab combs across the conference room tables. Not very professional.

Dr Dutch · « **Reply #155 on:** July 22, 2011, 03:32:47 AM »

Thank me later...

gym**rat · « **Reply #156 on:** July 22, 2011, 06:30:20 AM »

Quote from: dutchguy on July 22, 2011, 03:32:47 AM

Thank me later...

dutch, just looked at the website to check these out. Thank you, these are a win-win situation. They are actually for fecal incontinence but I could use them to soak up the Sea Monkeys AND catch fecal matter if I happen to shart! I believe I just sported wood.

Rambone · « **Reply #157 on:** July 22, 2011, 10:19:58 AM »

Quote from: gym**rat on July 22, 2011, 06:30:20 AM

dutch, just looked at the website to check these out. Thank you, these are a win-win situation. They are actually for fecal incontinence but I could use them to soak up the Sea Monkeys AND catch fecal matter if I happen to shart! I believe I just sported wood.

Hahahaha!

Dr Dutch · « **Reply #158 on:** July 22, 2011, 10:22:15 AM »

The term "sea monkeys" will never be the same again

gym**rat · « **Reply #159 on:** July 22, 2011, 11:02:21 AM »

Quote from: dutchguy on July 22, 2011, 10:22:15 AM

The term "sea monkeys" will never be the same again

It was 100 degrees with a heat index of 118 degrees yesterday. I didn't leave a sea monkey, I left a fucking sea gorilla yesterday. It was very impressive.

Team Sea Monkey

Dr Dutch · « **Reply #160 on:** July 22, 2011, 11:03:37 AM »

You should make a vid of it evaporating into the summer air...and post it here.

gym**rat · « **Reply #161 on:** July 22, 2011, 11:17:25 AM »

Quote from: dutchguy on July 22, 2011, 11:03:37 AM

You should make a vid of it evaporating into the summer air...and post it here.

dutch, I will definitely try and do that. I will get on the treadmill, work up a good lather then sit down. The only problem I see is my wife is home on the weekend as well. If she catches me how in the hell am I supposed to explain to her why I am slipping into my dress pants, working up a sweat on the treadmill, going into my office and sit down in a chair for a few minutes, jump up and take a picture of an ass sweat mark on the chair, and then jump on the computer and post it on a bodybuilding website. SHE WILL THINK I AM FUCKING NUTS MAN! Hell I think I am fucking nuts!

Dr Dutch · « **Reply #162 on:** July 22, 2011, 11:19:28 AM »

Quote from: gym**rat on July 22, 2011, 11:17:25 AM

dutch, I will definitely try and do that. I will get on the treadmill, work up a good lather then sit down. The only problem I see is my wife is home on the weekend as well. If she catches me how in the hell am I supposed to explain to her why I am slipping into my dress pants, working up a sweat on the treadmill, going into my office and sit down in a chair for a few minutes, jump up and take a picture of an ass sweat mark on the chair, and then jump on the computer and post it on a bodybuilding website. SHE WILL THINK I AM FUCKING NUTS MAN! Hell I think I am fucking nuts!

and vid the expression on her face too

gym**rat · « **Reply #163 on:** July 22, 2011, 11:26:08 AM »

Quote from: dutchguy on July 22, 2011, 11:19:28 AM

and vid the expression on her face too

She continually has a disgusted look on her face anytime I am around. She thinks my head is pretty fucked up. She gave me that look in bed last night. I asked her if she would pull her tit out, take an ice cube and rub it on her nipple until it got rock hard, and then run her nipple into the eye of my cock and fuck the hell out of it. Her facial expression was priceless. I try to present her with a scenario every night.

Dr Dutch · « **Reply #164 on:** July 22, 2011, 11:27:52 AM »

Damn, all that and the sea monkeys too.....good thing you got a new shitter..

gym**rat · « **Reply #165 on:** July 22, 2011, 11:31:30 AM »

Quote from: dutchguy on July 22, 2011, 11:27:52 AM

Damn, all that and the sea monkeys too.....good thing you got a new shitter..

Mr new shitter hasn't arrived yet

Wife was waiting on me to leave to go out for dinner and I needed to drop a quick pile. 1 damn turd, @ 3" long and not much over 1" in girth and the old fucking toilet locked up like 2 dogs in the summer. She laughed and said, "I bet you can't wait for your new crapper".

Jizzacked · « **Reply #166 on:** July 22, 2011, 12:18:08 PM »

Quote from: gym**rat on July 22, 2011, 11:26:08 AM

She continually has a disgusted look on her face anytime I am around. She thinks my head is pretty fucked up. She gave me that look in bed last night. I asked her if she would pull her tit out, take an ice cube and rub it on her nipple until it got rock hard, and then run her nipple into the eye of my cock and fuck the hell out of it. Her facial expression was priceless. I try to present her with a scenario every night.

I like the cut of your jib

I used to do similar things to my ex wife. like talk her into fucked up scenarios, such as sitting on her face and busting ass straight into her mouth. she would protest until I would badger her enough, and then she would eventually agree. I would then turn the tables on her, and question her character for agreeing to such a thing.

gym**rat · « **Reply #167 on:** July 22, 2011, 12:21:37 PM »

Quote from: Jizzacked on July 22, 2011, 12:18:08 PM

I like the cut of your jib

I used to do similar things to my ex wife. like talk her into fucked up scenarios, such as sitting on her face and busting ass straight into her mouth. she would protest until I would badger her enough, and then she would eventually agree. I would then turn the tables on her, and question her character for agreeing to such a thing.

First off, "I like the cut of your jib??"....how did you know I was circumsized?

You could actually get her to agree to letting you bust ass into her mouth. Dude, you married a princess. That is a team player and a keeper you lucky bastard. I am jealous.

Jizzacked · « **Reply #168 on:** July 22, 2011, 12:36:03 PM »

Quote from: gym**rat on July 22, 2011, 12:21:37 PM

First off, "I like the cut of your jib??"....how did you know I was circumsized?

You could actually get her to agree to letting you bust ass into her mouth. Dude, you married a princess. That is a team player and a keeper you lucky bastard. I am jealous.

she was the sort that would gladly lick my sea monkeys off the chair if I asked nicely, however that sort of pig devotion only goes so far

gym**rat · « **Reply #169 on:** July 22, 2011, 02:47:28 PM »

Quote from: Jizzacked on July 22, 2011, 12:36:03 PM

she was the sort that would gladly lick my sea monkeys off the chair if I asked nicely, however that sort of pig devotion only goes so far

This sea monkey licker you speak of. Would she happen to live in the Midwest? I know she is your ex but would you hook a brother up please?

chaos · « **Reply #170 on:** July 22, 2011, 05:44:59 PM »

What's it called when a woman leaves one? I saw this semi attractive older woman get up from the chair after doing massive db presses with the 15's and she left two squiggly sweat marks....I'm assuming women don't leave sea monkeys.

gym**rat · « **Reply #171 on:** July 22, 2011, 05:51:41 PM »

Quote from: chaos on July 22, 2011, 05:44:59 PM

What's it called when a woman leaves one? I saw this semi attractive older woman get up from the chair after doing massive db presses with the 15's and she left two squiggly sweat marks....I'm assuming women don't leave sea monkeys.

Most would call that a "She Monkey". I call it a snack!

njanvi · « **Reply #172 on:** July 22, 2011, 05:52:05 PM »

Gym, try using the old spice body spray and spraying ur ass. Keeps me nice and dry...then again, I don't usually get sea monkeys. 100 degrees here in NYC and kept me nice and cool

YngiweRhoads · « **Reply #173 on:** July 22, 2011, 07:34:28 PM »

That's fucking disgusting but aside from that look up Fresh Balls.

gym**rat · « **Reply #174 on:** July 27, 2011, 09:49:29 AM »

Update: I realized that my sea monkeys are worse when my hemmroids are flared up. Once they chilled down I tried some Axe Dry anti-perspirant and it help quite a bit. Thank you all for your suggestions and support. I am thinking of starting a Sea Monkey Support website since I have found so many others that suffer from this ailment as I do. Fight the good fight my friends.