Which is the fastest, cheapest online group/personal trainer certification?

[RJ DRIVER]

That reminds me a story I once heard about Vince.
Word on the street is that he did work in a Zoo once for a couple of weeks. One of the Zookeepers asked him after a few days on the job, "Would you shag that gorilla for five grand?"
Goodrum was unsure so he compromised "I tell you what. I'll do it under three conditions. None of my family, Vissy or friends find out. I don't have to kiss it. Lastly, you give me a couple of weeks to get the money together."

holy shit!! I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

[Steve Namat]

Certs mean shit but I have 4.

Congratulation my brother! Good job!  

At least it looks good on a business card I guess...  

[makaveli25]

Certs mean shit but I have 4.

Coach have you ever heard of a medical exercise specialist (post rehab exercise) do they make any money?

[viking1]

 

[Natural Man]

You're right.

The movies were all bullshit, but the whole USA is bullshit as well...I mean the people. But I still like this place better than Hungary.

Your body 'is bullshit' as well. And without the drugs, your body is nothing, your personnality is nothing, you are nothing. Which means your whole character 'is bullshit'. If you ever face this reality it's going to be tough, especially living in another country where nobody, not even family can help.

It means you absolutely cant get off steroids considering your whole life revolves around your bloated character and your hypocritical grin / smile. Cant be a bouncer anymore, cant be a pt anymore, get depressed because of withdrawals and test shutting down... Which means you will always need money to pay for drugs and will have to always stay on. I guess you dont even remember what it's like emotionnaly speaking not being on steroids anymore.
 And it also means you will do anything for the money.

If when the girl leaves you for a rich american fat dude and a green card, what  options are left for you?

At this point you ll be ready for g4p.

[Steve Namat]

Your body 'is bullshit' as well. And without the drugs, your body is nothing, your personnality is nothing, you are nothing. Which means your whole character 'is bullshit'. If you ever face this reality it's going to be tough, especially living in another country where nobody, not even family can help.

It means you absolutely cant get off steroids considering your whole life revolves around your bloated character and your hypocritical grin / smile. Cant be a bouncer anymore, cant be a pt anymore, get depressed because of withdrawals and test shutting down... Which means you will always need money to pay for drugs and will have to always stay on. I guess you dont even remember what it's like emotionnaly speaking not being on steroids anymore.
 And it also means you will do anything for the money.

If when the girl leaves you for a rich american fat dude and the green card, what  options are left for you?

Trying something like this with me shows that you're too new on this board...

[Natural Man]

Trying something like this with me shows that you're too new on this board...

Answers in broken english wont help either. Not sure what you attempted to say but i"m not trying anything, it's just  a simple question.

So, what will be your options once the shit hits the fan?

[makaveli25]

Your body 'is bullshit' as well. And without the drugs, your body is nothing, your personnality is nothing, you are nothing. Which means your whole character 'is bullshit'. If you ever face this reality it's going to be tough, especially living in another country where nobody, not even family can help.

It means you absolutely cant get off steroids considering your whole life revolves around your bloated character and your hypocritical grin / smile. Cant be a bouncer anymore, cant be a pt anymore, get depressed because of withdrawals and test shutting down... Which means you will always need money to pay for drugs and will have to always stay on. I guess you dont even remember what it's like emotionnaly speaking not being on steroids anymore.
 And it also means you will do anything for the money.

If when the girl leaves you for a rich american fat dude and a green card, what  options are left for you?

At this point you ll be ready for g4p.

WTF

[Vince G, CSN MFT]

Trying something like this with me shows that you're too new on this board...

Steve, I'm glad that you're finally making some money.  But you don't need to work all of those jobs.  Contact my buddy Bedros Keiilian and learn to maximize your money from the fitness industry.  You got a fucking IFBB pro card and a respectable physique.  Now use your head and go make some real money

http://ptpower.com/

[dyslexic]

Just get one from Palumbo..


I'm sure he's ready to negotiate prices.


Or, just get a color copier and a certification form...


Certifications =  shit.


ISSA is 6 bills. You can complete the course in a night if you have half a brain.


Does she have to carry liability insurance? Will she have to maintain CEU's? First Aid? AED?


It can get costly.

[OneMoreRep]

Your body 'is bullshit' as well. And without the drugs, your body is nothing, your personnality is nothing, you are nothing. Which means your whole character 'is bullshit'. If you ever face this reality it's going to be tough, especially living in another country where nobody, not even family can help.

It means you absolutely cant get off steroids considering your whole life revolves around your bloated character and your hypocritical grin / smile. Cant be a bouncer anymore, cant be a pt anymore, get depressed because of withdrawals and test shutting down... Which means you will always need money to pay for drugs and will have to always stay on. I guess you dont even remember what it's like emotionnaly speaking not being on steroids anymore.
 And it also means you will do anything for the money.

If when the girl leaves you for a rich american fat dude and a green card, what  options are left for you?

At this point you ll be ready for g4p.

Damn, Uber...

Just when I thought you were becoming a little nicer, you just go ahead and kick someone in the balls for shits and giggles..

Steve is actually a reformed IFBB pro that has had it with the industry.  I think he is more on his way out, than on his way trying to make it in.

"1"

[Coach is Back!]

@ Vince. Bedros has some cool marketing shit but takes up too much time. I do use some of his stuff tho.

[cephissus]

Why get a cert?
Just lie

Seriously, I'm not even making a joke here

You know how much time I wasted on my ACSM just for none of my employers to not give a shit?

haha how much time DID you waste on this piece of shit?

i spent like 3-4 months, 3-4 hrs studying every weekday.

ridiculous how, despite their little KSA list, I really had no idea what was going to be on the test until i stepped inside the booth.

i even forgot my wallet and ID the day of, had to reschedule and pay half the test fee all over again.  

[Natural Man]

Damn, Uber...

Just when I thought you were becoming a little nicer, you just go ahead and kick someone in the balls for shits and giggles..

Steve is actually a reformed IFBB pro that has had it with the industry.  I think he is more on his way out, than on his way trying to make it in.

"1"

There are different ways of being 'nice' (genuinely helpful i d say) to someone.
Sometimes you help people more by slaping them than being 'nice' with them.
And beware of 'nice' people.  (especially when they re on steroids and have whitened teeth and constantly smile)
There are a lot of people who act very nice in front of everyone but who in fact just wait for them to fall and take their place, perfectly knowing how to lure them , or not giving them the informations that could truly help them even if they are in their possession. Openly misguiding them while sporting a constant fake smile on their face. They re very proud of their way of surviving, they think they re smarter than everyone else.

[Vince G, CSN MFT]

@ Vince. Bedros has some cool marketing shit but takes up too much time. I do use some of his stuff tho.

He gives free advice if you Facebook him.  It'll at least give him a start

[Coach is Back!]

"Just lie"? Damn dude, have a little integrity. Even Dr's have to have certs and CEU's after they get their degree and doctrate. Its on going and never ending. That's what seperates knowledgable trainers from thieves.

[Natural Man]

"Just lie"? Damn dude, have a little integrity. Even Dr's have to have certs and CEU's after they get their degree and doctrate. Its on going and never ending. That's what seperates knowledgable trainers from thieves.

says the so called christian guy on steroids who had 4 wives.

[Coach is Back!]

Whatever the fuck that has to do with anything.

[cephissus]

"Just lie"? Damn dude, have a little integrity. Even Dr's have to have certs and CEU's after they get their degree and doctrate. Its on going and never ending. That's what seperates knowledgable trainers from thieves.

what separates knowledgeable trainers from thieves is knowledge, not a piece of paper that signifies less than nothing.  ACSM CPT is more widely respected than any other base-level personal trainer certification... and is a complete joke.

[Dogma2010]

You don't lie about certifications because if you get caught more than likely you're going to court in cases against the boards of those organizations you lied about being a part of. For example, you are a trainer/nutritionist yet have 0 certifications and someone actually calls you on it. BOOM, now you are in legal trouble just like that. You're better off just using a more clever name like a nutritional consultant or something like that to get around the legal headaches honestly....

[Coach is Back!]

Cephiussus....that's why CEU's are important.

[The Showstoppa]

Certified dumbasses.

[cephissus]

what's a CEU?

[Coach is Back!]

Continuing Education Units

[el numero uno]

This is the dumbest thing I ever saw. WTF are they thinking? Clowns...