Author Topic: Advice for a friend (intended to be serious): what should he do? (Read 4478 times)

affeman · « **Reply #25 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:14:59 AM »

Quote from: Deicide on August 07, 2011, 07:42:55 AM

I have a good friend, one of my closest friends, known him for the longest time who is kind of in the long term doldrums.

He is professionally very successful, is a key figure in the Rhode Island budgetary office, earns pretty well, is a good guy overall, very smart but he just seems to be lacking in the social realm, ever since his wife left him a few years back, just hasn't been the same. He's always been a bit of a workaholic but since then that is all he does. I usually just listen but I don't really have too many answers. He's 35 and trying to come to terms with middle age, realising that everything is downhill from now on, parents dying, friends fading out, etc. I guess he has come to the conclusion that dedicating all his time to his job has left him unbalanced in other areas. I made some suggestions but no idea how he could change that. Ideas? cheers

Lift weights?

Deicide · « **Reply #26 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:18:32 AM »

Quote from: affeman on August 07, 2011, 08:14:59 AM

Lift weights?

No, he hates weights, plays lots of tennis though.

BikiniSlut · « **Reply #27 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:20:44 AM »

Quote from: Deicide on August 07, 2011, 08:18:32 AM

No, he hates weights, plays lots of tennis though.

He hates weights?

So you're saying he's homosexual than.

What a puss.

Deicide · « **Reply #28 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:27:43 AM »

Quote from: BikiniSlut on August 07, 2011, 08:20:44 AM

He hates weights?

So you're saying he's homosexual than.

What a puss.

Not everyone likes weights.

BikiniSlut · « **Reply #29 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:29:18 AM »

Quote from: Deicide on August 07, 2011, 08:27:43 AM

Not everyone likes weights.

Actually in all seriousness I prefer cardio over weights.

But even if you don't like them you should still lift them for vanity.

Deicide · « **Reply #30 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:31:41 AM »

Quote from: BikiniSlut on August 07, 2011, 08:29:18 AM

Actually in all seriousness I prefer cardio over weights.

But even if you don't like them you should still lift them for vanity.

I prefer weights but everyone is different.

dyslexic · « **Reply #31 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:36:43 AM »

He's gonna have to move on with his life. No "pity-parties" ~ Women can sour you (if you let them) ~ you can't dwell on it. Move on, move on, move on. "Get to livin' or just get to dying" (Shawshank Redemption)

If he's looking for the 'meaning of life' or is having a really tough time dealing with middle age, it may be time for him to start developing a relationship with his maker.

We are ALL here for a reason.

We didn't have to be born. None of us are "mistakes" (regardless of general consensus)

Ronnie Rep · « **Reply #32 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:38:47 AM »

What a pussy stop whining go to the gym! Release some endorphins!

Parker · « **Reply #33 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:40:13 AM »

Quote from: Deicide on August 07, 2011, 07:49:50 AM

He's ok looking. Apparently he has a big cock too, so I imagine that would be a plus.

Wife left him, so apparently she didn't care about the big cock, he didn't know how to use it, or he apparently didn't have one, or she found one thar was bigger...

Tell him to go buy a porsche, Ferrari, or a project car...enjoy it

Your friend is a depressive person---ergo, maybe the reason why he is your friend...
I'm 34, and my job is filled with more depressing things than a convent in Hell, but I still know how to laugh and look on the bright side of things...

Bitch slap the mofo, and take him to a strip joint...RI is small ass state.

garebear · « **Reply #34 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:42:01 AM »

I'm 35. I don't feel that life is over.

Damn, at least go to 50.

You should tell him to move to a new country.

Nothing good in life happens while you're sitting in your safe little comfort zone.

Tell him to grow some cajones.

Seriously, I would use a tough spiel when talking to him. Like this - why don't you quit being a whiney little bitch and be the man you want to be?

Deicide · « **Reply #35 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:46:59 AM »

Quote from: GangstaLean on August 07, 2011, 08:40:13 AM

Wife left him, so apparently she didn't care about the big cock, he didn't know how to use it, or he apparently didn't have one, or she found one thar was bigger...

Tell him to go buy a porsche, Ferrari, or a project car...enjoy it

Your friend is a depressive person---ergo, maybe the reason why he is your friend...
I'm 34, and my job is filled with more depressing things than a convent in Hell, but I still know how to laugh and look on the bright side of things...

Bitch slap the mofo, and take him to a strip joint...RI is small ass state.

I doubt we are friends just because of depression; we just get along.

BikiniSlut · « **Reply #36 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:48:21 AM »

Maybe he needs anti-depessants. They did a world of wonder for me. I don't think I'll ever go off actually.

Schmoe Buster · « **Reply #37 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:48:52 AM »

Quote from: WillGrant on August 07, 2011, 07:57:24 AM

It's time the bitches started making the $ and the guys start sponging off of them

The chocolate men are already doing that

garebear · « **Reply #38 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:51:00 AM »

I think depression is natural for intelligent people.

Lincoln used to get very depressed. The called in hypochondria at the time (or, it was just shortened to 'the hypo').

He would brood for days, often taking walks in the woods for days and not talking to another human being.

That doesn't mean it has to rule your life, though.

Meso_z · « **Reply #39 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:58:12 AM »

Quote from: WillGrant on August 07, 2011, 07:56:26 AM

Romantic

flipper5470 · « **Reply #40 on:** August 07, 2011, 09:08:19 AM »

Be like my dog... I let him out in the yard and he runs his ass off. He's happy as hell to run up and down that yard...he doesn't care if it's cold, wet, snowy, or hot as hell. He's just happy to be out there running as hard as he can.

Live your fucking life...enjoy the time you have while you have it. 35 and life is halfway over? fuck that.... I started a family at 40. I'm 50 now, I'm about to open a gym...it's more like a studio...1200 sq ft outbuilding that I've tricked out to do HIIT cario and basic weight training...but it's MY gym. If you would have told me I'd be doing that at 35 I would have told you were insane.

BikiniSlut · « **Reply #41 on:** August 07, 2011, 09:11:26 AM »

Quote from: flipper5470 on August 07, 2011, 09:08:19 AM

Be like my dog... I let him out in the yard and he runs his ass off. He's happy as hell to run up and down that yard...he doesn't care if it's cold, wet, snowy, or hot as hell. He's just happy to be out there running as hard as he can.

Live your fucking life...enjoy the time you have while you have it. 35 and life is halfway over? fuck that.... I started a family at 40. I'm 50 now, I'm about to open a gym...it's more like a studio...1200 sq ft outbuilding that I've tricked out to do HIIT cario and basic weight training...but it's MY gym. If you would have told me I'd be doing that at 35 I would have told you were insane.

Wow....the dog analogy really gets to the heart of this whole thread.

Butterbean · « **Reply #42 on:** August 07, 2011, 10:16:45 AM »

Quote from: Deicide on August 07, 2011, 07:42:55 AM

realising that everything is downhill from now on,

Self-fulfilling prophecy suggests he may end up more miserable than he is now.

No matter what age, if a person has the outlook that "everything is downhill from now on," that is probably the vibe they emit, and they may end up pretty lonely.

Obviously I believe like dyslexic; that the guy should pursue a relationship w/God or at least investigate Him.

And maybe your friend can volunteer in a position that helps others less fortunate than him. It can take his focus off things that depress him about his situation.

If he takes his focus off himself it should help...but if he can't, then he should try to focus on all of his blessings....down to the fact that he can see, walk, work, has a job, lives in a free country (I assume), isn't worrying about where to find his next meal, has a working toilet inside of his house w/toilet paper etc.

Deicide · « **Reply #43 on:** August 07, 2011, 10:23:41 AM »

Quote from: Butterbean on August 07, 2011, 10:16:45 AM

Self-fulfilling prophecy suggests he may end up more miserable than he is now.

No matter what age, if a person has the outlook that "everything is downhill from now on," that is probably the vibe they emit, and they may end up pretty lonely.

Obviously I believe like dyslexic; that the guy should pursue a relationship w/God or at least investigate Him.

And maybe your friend can volunteer in a position that helps others less fortunate than him. It can take his focus off things that depress him about his situation.

If he takes his focus off himself it should help...but if he can't, then he should try to focus on all of his blessings....down to the fact that he can see, walk, work, has a job, lives in a free country (I assume), isn't worrying about where to find his next meal, has a working toilet inside of his house w/toilet paper etc.

He's an atheist so religion is out for him but yes, I think he realises his blessings but the lack of social stuff seems to be killing him. I should have mentioned it but his hairline is thinning out a lot as well, which is getting him down and he doesn't have the scalp for the shaved look.

Parker · « **Reply #44 on:** August 07, 2011, 10:54:39 AM »

Quote from: Deicide on August 07, 2011, 08:46:59 AM

I doubt we are friends just because of depression; we just get along.

Because you both are depressed, misery loves company, my man

and not to knock atheism, but many of the ones I come across IRL are either angry or depressed. I have family members in their 90s who are strict church goers (not bible thumpers) and are happy as can be, and I'm talking HAPPY...just laughing and talking, and thet have been thru more ish than your friend has, in fact, some of the stuff that they have been thru would make your friend commit suicide...

Your friend is a Downer, man...and Nobody likes Downers.

garebear · « **Reply #45 on:** August 07, 2011, 11:18:20 AM »

Quote from: Butterbean on August 07, 2011, 10:16:45 AM

Self-fulfilling prophecy suggests he may end up more miserable than he is now.

No matter what age, if a person has the outlook that "everything is downhill from now on," that is probably the vibe they emit, and they may end up pretty lonely.

Obviously I believe like dyslexic; that the guy should pursue a relationship w/God or at least investigate Him.

And maybe your friend can volunteer in a position that helps others less fortunate than him. It can take his focus off things that depress him about his situation.

If he takes his focus off himself it should help...but if he can't, then he should try to focus on all of his blessings....down to the fact that he can see, walk, work, has a job, lives in a free country (I assume), isn't worrying about where to find his next meal, has a working toilet inside of his house w/toilet paper etc.

Why don't you explore atheism for your problems?

Surely the delusional claptrap you call god is holding you back in some ways.

Primemuscle · « **Reply #46 on:** August 07, 2011, 11:31:34 AM »

Quote from: Deicide on August 07, 2011, 07:42:55 AM

He's 35 and trying to come to terms with middle age, realising that everything is downhill from now on, parents dying, friends fading out, etc.

Really??? I guess no one sent me the memo. I am almost twice his age and life is swell....specially since I retired two years ago. Yeah, parents died, friends got divorced, etc. Life is all about change. You either embrace it or you don't. The more contented folks thrive on change.

garebear · « **Reply #47 on:** August 07, 2011, 11:33:53 AM »

Quote from: Primemuscle on August 07, 2011, 11:31:34 AM

Really??? I guess no one sent me the memo. I am almost twice his age and life is swell....specially since I retired two years ago. Yeah, parents died, friends got divorced, etc. Life is all about change. You either embrace it or you don't. The more contented folks thrive on change.

Good post.

flipper5470 · « **Reply #48 on:** August 09, 2011, 06:50:37 AM »

Quote from: BikiniSlut on August 07, 2011, 09:11:26 AM

Wow....the dog analogy really gets to the heart of this whole thread.

My dog wants you..I've seen him lick himself, he probably be OK with licking you.....

Cleanest Natural · « **Reply #49 on:** August 09, 2011, 06:57:29 AM »

Quote from: BikiniSlut on August 07, 2011, 07:47:27 AM

Let's see....

Single....check.
Rich enough to buy me nice things....check.

Is he good looking?

he's not gay so back off!