Many ask how we came up with this decsion. Here is the synopsis.....
I came to the GetBig offices on a sunny California afternoon and to my surprise came out under a California harvest moon. It was a late night to say the least with many debates going back and forth trying to convince one another who was the most deserving member.
I took my seat in the beautiful room Ron sets aside for these types of things. When you walk in you can’t help but to notice you’re walking on Azerbaijani carpeting. The walls are plastered with framed photos of Ron shaking hands with numerous champion bodybuilders, Arnold, Dorian, JJ March, and Mario Sarni. Sculptures of David, Tete and The Guennol Lioness surround the room on marble pedestals. Lastly the “Horseshoe” table that we sit at is a combination of Oak (of course), Mississippi Swamp Ash, Ebony African Black, Brazilian Rosewood and it wouldn’t be complete without Agarwood.
As I look over my notes the room starts to fill up. Princess L comes in wearing a Vera Wang Angelic Amethyst evening gown, we exchange hello’s and she takes her seat. Chaos comes in wearing sweat pants, Nike Shox, and a shirt that says “PowerTeam USA, God Made You To Win”. I say hello, he nods and sits. You could tell that he just came from the gym as he is fully pumped and exhausted. Mindspin and Butterbean were next wearing matching velour workout suits with vintage Puma’s. I couldn’t help but notice they were also sporting GASP muscle shirts under them. We exchanged pleasantries and they took their seats. I observed, Butterbean taking out an old school Trapper Keeper that housed all the posts from the one member that he was “endorsing”. He was ready to win the argument and came prepared.
Lastly, Mr. Avidan comes in. Now if you’ve never been in the presence of Ron (as his friends call him) he is a man of style. Ron was wearing an Olive green Armani sharkskin suit. Pink dress shirt and a Charvet neck tie. Ron, sits down quickly and says “let’s get started”
One hour quickly turned into four, then six then eight. This was serious and all of us knew it. We narrowed it down to three names but this was going to be tough. A knock at the door interrupted our meeting. Bob Cicherillo came in saying hello to everyone. Bob also has quite the style, wearing a beautiful “pirate like” dress shirt draped over his sculpted upper body. Velvet parachute pants layered his massive legs. Silver bracelets wrapped around both of his powerful wrists looking like they could deflect bullets.
The interruption by Bob was a Godsend. We could now take a break from this pressure cooker to grab an IsoPure, coffee or MetRx bar. I saw Grant Michaels talking on his cell phone near a giant window. I couldn’t but help notice his perfectly bronzed skin reflecting a full moon on his cheek. Ron immediately flickered the lights and we were summoned back to work….
Ron was getting upset. He had reserved a late dinner date at Nobu and his hunger was making him irritable. We needed to agree on someone, someone that sets the bar high and someone that challenges the status quo, someone that exemplifies GetBig and holds qualities we all strive and aspire to. But who? Who could this person be? Yelling back and forth, PowerPoint presentations, the use of a smart board hanging behind Ron….it was relentless. We had to agree and in order to do that we went over thousands and thousands of posts. After a few more hours we narrowed it down, until we came up with one name, a person that has surpassed many obstacles this year, a person who gives the great state of North Carolina a wonderful name. Mr. Nobody!!!!!!!!!! As we shuffled and filed our papers, closed our briefcases and chalked this one up as history, there was an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction amongst the GetBig mods and dignitaries. We knew we did the right thing and were proud of it!
Ron was out as quick as he was in, opening his cell and running out the door, on to his late dinner. Chaos picked up his gym bag which in turn ripped, spilling out a kettle bell, weird. Princess L glided out as delicate and stunning as ever. And the rest of us, exhausted, picked up our belongings and left the horseshoe room for another month.
As the meeting adjourned and we all went our separate ways, I knew what we had decided was true and right. As I walked under the fluorescent lights and passed by the Hispanic maids tidying up the GetBig offices I let a deep breath out, uncorking the pressures that were bottled from another crowning of the Most Positive Member of GetBig. As I hit the bottom stairs and said goodnight to security, I couldn’t help but notice a middle aged man at the steps with a cardboard sign saying “Need Money For Food”. I dug out a twenty and he slowly reached up for it. Behind his four day beard, dirty smelly clothes, horseshoe pattern hair line and the raspy voice laid a beaten and defeated person. Yes, he looked familiar, I knew somewhere I had seen this man before, but where? As I looked around at his “temporary camp” I couldn’t help but notice a carton of milk that was from a different country. It had red printing and some kind of design that I had previously seen. I reached down and picked up the carton and noticed a sentence that read: “Children Are The Orgasam Of Life”. Yes, indeed it was Pumpster. A man that was once on top of his game only to be exposed and shattered with such a long, long fall from grace. I said hello and we chit-chatted for several minutes. He stated how he sold his beloved Bowflex for McDonald’s money and the spiral continued. He said how we was saving up for a used Bowflex on Craigslist but couldn’t make it. He’s been eating McDonalds for 21 straight days and can’t count the times he’s fallen off that wagon. He’s been sitting at GetBig’s offices trying to talk to Ron. Now I know why Ron takes the back door to avoid things like this. I said good luck and good bye to Pumpster and continued on my walk down a misty, full mooned O.C. night.
