Three New Navy Ships – USS Reagan, Clinton, Obama

[Dos Equis]

Three New Navy Ships – USS Reagan, Clinton, Obama
by bigoranged on March 30, 2010

If you’re new to this site, we have tons of serious minded content. Today I’m taking a break and posting under our ‘Funny Stuff’ category.

USS REAGAN

Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective. ENORMOUS!



When the Bridge pipes ‘ Man the Rail’ there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.

Capability
Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling
1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years
2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft
3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet

Size
1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline
2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall
3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres
4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds
5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons
6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet

Capacity
1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel
2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days
3. 18,150 meals served daily
4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes
5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones
6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets

USS BILL CLINTON

The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver, BC.



The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton ‘for his foresight in military budget cuts’ and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.

This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada .

USS BARACK OBAMA



Details are as vague.

But don’t you worry……….he has a plan

http://michiganconservatives.wordpress.com/2010/03/30/three-new-navy-ships-uss-reagan-clinton-obama/

[headhuntersix]

I love it......

[OzmO]

 

[Soul Crusher]

Whoever votes for this jerkoff again in 2012 needs to be tossed off a bridge.  

[Skip8282]

[240 is Back]

Whoever votes for this jerkoff again in 2012 needs to be tossed off a bridge. 

ppl won't vote FOR obama.

they'll vote AGAINST whatever moron you put up from the GOP.

perry or palin... fail.

[Soul Crusher]

ppl won't vote FOR obama.

they'll vote AGAINST whatever moron you put up from the GOP.

perry or palin... fail.

You yourself said you would vote for Perry over Obama.   what changed? 

[garebear]

You yourself said you would vote for Perry over Obama.   what changed? 

I'm voting for Obama just to piss you, yes you personally, off.

[2ND COMING]

Lol'd in real life when i saw the uss maobungaloo.

[Soul Crusher]

I'm voting for Obama just to piss you, yes you personally, off.

Good - I hope when you go into the voting booth in 2012 - while the nation is in collapse, probably down the 10th on the list, etc, the sole reason you vote for the Palistinian Hero Obama is cause of me. 

[Soul Crusher]

 

[The True Adonis]

Three New Navy Ships – USS Reagan, Clinton, Obama
by bigoranged on March 30, 2010

If you’re new to this site, we have tons of serious minded content. Today I’m taking a break and posting under our ‘Funny Stuff’ category.

USS REAGAN

Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective. ENORMOUS!



When the Bridge pipes ‘ Man the Rail’ there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.

Capability
Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling
1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years
2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft
3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet

Size
1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline
2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall
3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres
4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds
5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons
6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet

Capacity
1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel
2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days
3. 18,150 meals served daily
4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes
5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones
6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets

USS BILL CLINTON

The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver, BC.



The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton ‘for his foresight in military budget cuts’ and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.

This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada .

USS BARACK OBAMA



Details are as vague.

But don’t you worry……….he has a plan

http://michiganconservatives.wordpress.com/2010/03/30/three-new-navy-ships-uss-reagan-clinton-obama/

No such thing as a USS Bill Clinton.

Stupid post.

[Soul Crusher]

[The True Adonis]

Does that Aircraft Carrier also double as a Cutter and a Runner? 

Seriously, they did waste the name on that Carrier.  They would have done better by calling USS Pershing or USS Longstreet or USS Jackson.

Reagan was a grade A putz and nothing compared to those listed above.

[Dos Equis]

No such thing as a USS Bill Clinton.

Stupid post.

   It's a joke.  You need to have a sense of humor to understand that it's a joke.

[240 is Back]

You yourself said you

i still will.  but i do think he'll not fare nearly as well in a general election as the others.  he's a farkin douche. 

[The True Adonis]

  It's a joke.  You need to have a sense of humor to understand that it's a joke.

I was being facetious.

[garebear]

Good - I hope when you go into the voting booth in 2012 - while the nation is in collapse, probably down the 10th on the list, etc, the sole reason you vote for the Palistinian Hero Obama is cause of me. 

POTUS gets top billing.

[Skip8282]

I was being facetious.

Ah, invoke guideline #7 - good call.

[Dos Equis]

Ah, invoke guideline #7 - good call.

lol.  That is the greatest thread ever . . . next to the Would You Hit It (Political Edition) thread.   

 
7.  Pretend You Didn't Mean What You Meant

Uh-oh, did you just make an ass of yourself?  Did you really throw up a post where you highlighted, underlined, bolded, and enlarged the font to say, "The Laws of Physics are different on Jupiter than on Earth"?  Did you actually just claim the President doesn't live in the Whitehouse?

No problem.  In your very next post, just claim that's not what you meant and accuse EVERYBODY of taking you out of "context" -even if that was the only line in your post.  You have nothing to worry about - it fools everybody everytime.

[2ND COMING]

I actually thought he was being facetious also. Which would mean the uss maobungaloo is real.  Which would be the joke.

[The True Adonis]

I actually thought he was being facetious also. Which would mean the uss maobungaloo is real.  Which would be the joke.

ROFLMAO someone is paying attention.

[2ND COMING]

ROFLMAO someone is paying attention.

Yeah but aren't you an obama supporter?

You either have a lot of humility or you're bullshitting. 

[The True Adonis]

Yeah but aren't weren`t you an obama supporter?

You either have a lot of humility or you're bullshitting. 

Fixed.

[Straw Man]

Whoever votes for this jerkoff again in 2012 needs to be tossed off a bridge.  

more likely when Obama wins you jump off a bridge