I read a study on depression many years ago and they found that there is very little if any depression in third world countries. Depression seems to be reserve for the more prosperous cultures and societies. After interviewing and observing people of various cultures they saw that those who were struggling just to survive didn't really have the "time" or the "luxury" to contemplate the meaning of life and what they expect from it. Just as in prosperous societies no one ask themselves "Why me?" when things are going great -- which is most of the time. In less fortunate cultures they don't ask themselves "Why me?" when tragedy befalls them. They have long learned to accept hardship as just a normal part of life. They are far more accepting of the ebb and flow, the ups and downs of life.
They found an almost inverse relationship between expectations and gratitude. Happiness is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to have in life without gratitude. And with expectations you cannot have gratitude. When you "expect" something and get it you are not grateful because you "expected" it. You were entitled to it and deserve it -- whatever that "it" is. But if you don't get "it." You don't get what you FEEL you are rightfully entitled to and deserve you feel a sense of injustice, unfairness, cheated. In prosperous cultures you tend to have a relatively unrealistic expectations of what real life is like. This tends to effect woman more than men as they are practically brought up with the notion that they will be living happy everlastingly with Mr. Right. It is not a coincidence that women go through their own mid life crisis at around their late 20s early 30s when their youth is fading and they look at their life and say, "Is this it?"
Not surprisingly if you were born and raised in the Congo, Somalia, Calcutta, chances are your expectations are quite low and you are eternally grateful to get whatever you can. One doesn't have the luxury to feel sorry for themselves as everyone is in the same boat.
And also the idea that the purpose in life is to be happy is a relatively new one. Look at pictures of people during the Civil War era and the days of the pioneer. Noticed nobody ever smile. It's not because they were miserable or unhappy. These were notions hardly, if ever, even considered. They were preoccupied with building better lives for themselves and their children. They were building a new country. They were preoccupied with a deep sense of purpose. Survival, food on the table, bettering themselves.
You can talk a lot about chemical imbalances and all that. A relatively new phenomenons as well in modern Western culture. Sometimes I wonder if it's the chemical imbalances that is causing the depression or is it the depression causing the chemical imbalances. And why now? And why don't they have it Communist China or Belarus?
I was lucky in that I had a parent from a third world country who suffered real hardship and real hunger and poverty. Always taught us to be grateful and never tolerated whining and feeling sorry for yourself. That just being born in America put his head over heels above the rest of the world. That though things can get bad, very bad, chances are they can always be worse. I remember when my mom got hit by a car and had to be in a wheel chair. She was a very active person and this was really a blow. But she didn't seemed bothered by it. Or at least she didn't show it -- which in itself is also important. I remember she just said with a smile, "Well, at least I have a wheel chair to ride around in."
Not everyone can smile being in a wheel chair. I'm not sure if I could. But, I guess things could be worse -- so maybe I'll try anyway. Maybe at least for the ones who do have it worse but can still smile.
