long time no troll.. relationship question, and no homo

[Brixtonbulldog]

flames welcome but you better be fucking hilarious

so, i kicked my long time gf and baby-momma out in may.  relationship sucked in general but she didn't do anything terrible like cheating, taking money, etc.  we were civil and happier being apart and took good care of the baby.

then in august we tried to reconcile.  lots of attraction and lots of soul-searching helped but it only lasted two weeks before we were at each others throats again.  a couple weeks later she started dating this guy.  now, unlike when i ended the relationship this time i was pretty upset.  pretty fucked up about it actually but i left her alone.  anyway her 'relationship' with this guy last three weeks and then she gave him the boot.  now i know a lot about him both from her and my own snooping and i can say with 100% certainty that he is nothing compared to me but here's the real issue.

she and i had an amazing night a week ago and have been seeing each other a lot since.  we both want to reconcile and are a lot more committed to doing the right things this time- it's been great so far and we talk a lot more openly about how to resolve our problems BUT now there's a hang-up.  i KNOW they slept together and it's holding me back.  

all in all my question is- how does a man allow himself to make it work with an long term ex-gf, one with a lot of serious and emotionally loaded history together, after that ex has been with another man?  as a guy, i could bone whoever and not lose an ounce of feelings for her but men and women are different.  i just don't know if i can look at her the same.  what do you think?  what are your suggestions guys?

[Board_SHERIF]

You had her and got sick of her --------> she is with others----------> You want her again as you do not have her-----> and the cycle will repeat it self.

[Brixtonbulldog]

You had her and got sick of her --------> she is with others----------> You want her again as you do not have her-----> and the cycle will repeat it self.

interesting perspective.  a lot of truth in that.  let's roll that dice again!

i actually wanted her before she wanted anyone else.  that was just insult to injury.  oh well, lol.

[dustin]

Ditch her.

I'm the pussy type to always want a bitch back, even if she's fucked someone. Except if she's fucked someone it crushes my ego like Kirby crushes his enemies. Don't get into that vicious cycle. Literally fuck and chuck the bitch. One day you'll look back and be disgusted that you let her occupy head space.

[Brixtonbulldog]

Ditch her.

I'm the pussy type to always want a bitch back, even if she's fucked someone. Except if she's fucked someone it crushes my ego like Kirby crushes his enemies. Don't get into that vicious cycle. Literally fuck and chuck the bitch. One day you'll look back and be disgusted that you let her occupy head space.

Boy, I've wanted to sometimes.  We had a huge blowout/opening up tonight.  For those of us you believe the worst case scenario EVERY TIME it's refreshing to know that life is rarely as bad as it is made out to be.  But, then again, who really knows?

[tu_holmes]

No bullshit... Do you love this woman?

If you love this woman and this woman loves you, then you make it work.

The first thing you do is no more "Talking about splitting".

Don't get pissed and say, "Well, I'll leave", or "why are we  together", or any of those "splitting up" type of statements... They do not do anything but drive a wedge.

As far as the fucking thing is concerned, you weren't together, it's done, she probably fucked people before you, so you shouldn't let the general premise of her having a dude between her legs be some big deal.

Hell, you'd probably have gotten some ass in there if you could, right?

Just move on... talk to each other... Be honest.

If it's meant to be, and you guys love each other it will work out.

If not, then it won't and you can go back to banging hot young vag on the reg.

[Brixtonbulldog]

No bullshit... Do you love this woman?

If you love this woman and this woman loves you, then you make it work.

The first thing you do is no more "Talking about splitting".

Don't get pissed and say, "Well, I'll leave", or "why are we  together", or any of those "splitting up" type of statements... They do not do anything but drive a wedge.

As far as the fucking thing is concerned, you weren't together, it's done, she probably fucked people before you, so you shouldn't let the general premise of her having a dude between her legs be some big deal.

Hell, you'd probably have gotten some ass in there if you could, right?

Just move on... talk to each other... Be honest.

If it's meant to be, and you guys love each other it will work out.

If not, then it won't and you can go back to banging hot young vag on the reg.

Splitting up is out off the table right now.  We're past that and are both really into each other.  We're not talking about separating again.

We talked a lot last night, no holds barred, brutal truth.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it was but still painful.  It's not like either of us sat around moping ya know, we got out there.

I think I just think highly enough to think that if a girl is really into me she would never want to cross that line for fear of fucking it up.  Guess I needed that reality check.