Author Topic: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related  (Read 13504 times)

Capitulation

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ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« on: November 18, 2011, 05:28:14 AM »
I was recently thinking of trimming some of my ass hair - NO HOMO - i already shave the pubes on my dick to make it look bigger - so i reckoned just like this guy that it would be so much cleaner and easier to wipe down there without ass hair. Bodybuilding related because i wonder if they shave their ass hairs for a competition  ;D Then i read this:

I know its long guys but trust me this is freaking hilarious:

Don’t Shave That Hair!!!

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can’t-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. “Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don’t I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!” I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. “How many Indians could there be?” said by General Custer. “Looks like a good day for a drive!” by JFK. “There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!” by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: “It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks.”

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair – ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn’t enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn’t just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends, DON’T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!  ;D ;D ;D

Dr Dutch

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2011, 05:44:32 AM »
It's called sea monkees, my friend.  Ask the gym***rat...

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2011, 05:50:07 AM »
I guess you never heard of the 'fold a piece of paper between your asscheeks' trick ?


 :D

easier way would be just not to shave your ass ofcourse

Dr Dutch

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2011, 05:52:20 AM »
I was recently thinking of trimming some of my ass hair - NO HOMO - i already shave the pubes on my dick to make it look bigger - so i reckoned just like this guy that it would be so much cleaner and easier to wipe down there without ass hair. Bodybuilding related because i wonder if they shave their ass hairs for a competition  ;D Then i read this:

I know its long guys but trust me this is freaking hilarious:

Don’t Shave That Hair!!!

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can’t-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. “Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don’t I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!” I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. “How many Indians could there be?” said by General Custer. “Looks like a good day for a drive!” by JFK. “There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!” by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: “It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks.”

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair – ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn’t enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn’t just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends, DON’T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!  ;D ;D ;D
you wrote this yourself? it's very funny if you like this kind of humor... ;D ;D

Capitulation

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2011, 05:55:27 AM »
I guess you never heard of the 'fold a piece of paper between your asscheeks' trick ?


 :D

easier way would be just not to shave your ass ofcourse

Eww that paper would stink so bad - cant be good with the bacteria that will breed on it too.

I never shaved my ass but will not even think about it after reading that funny ass post. I personally have OCD so even though i have a Bidet (i live in Europe  ;D) i still sometimes have a shower after a poop - especially annoying poops that don't dump out like a tonne of bricks. I really thought one time that having no ass hair at all would help my OCD.

Don't know how some Brits here and Americans only use toilet paper - no water, no wet wipes or anything. Their ass must stink so bad - it must be foul.


Capitulation

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2011, 05:56:50 AM »
No i didnt write it, someone sent it me in one of those funny email chains which i usually ignore but i had some time and read it. Had me howling it was so funny  ;D ;D ;D

Dr Dutch

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2011, 05:57:02 AM »
This thread has a strange flavour around it..... :-\

peruke

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2011, 05:57:46 AM »
I was recently thinking of trimming some of my ass hair - NO HOMO - i already shave the pubes on my dick to make it look bigger - so i reckoned just like this guy that it would be so much cleaner and easier to wipe down there without ass hair. Bodybuilding related because i wonder if they shave their ass hairs for a competition  ;D Then i read this:

I know its long guys but trust me this is freaking hilarious:

Don’t Shave That Hair!!!

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can’t-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. “Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don’t I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!” I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. “How many Indians could there be?” said by General Custer. “Looks like a good day for a drive!” by JFK. “There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!” by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: “It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks.”

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair – ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn’t enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn’t just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends, DON’T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!  ;D ;D ;D



"Increase your Anti-Anxiety medication"

Natural Man

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2011, 05:58:10 AM »
why shave ass hair in the first place? Where did the idea come from originally?

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2011, 06:06:00 AM »
why shave ass hair in the first place? Where did the idea come from originally?
the thought is probably for cleanliness. although it might have the opposite effect  ;D

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2011, 06:06:35 AM »
Where does the idea that having anal hair is not "clean" comes from ?

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2011, 06:07:20 AM »
Where does the idea that having anal hair is not "clean" comes from ?
think dingleberries

Natural Man

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #12 on: November 18, 2011, 06:11:00 AM »
think dingleberries
Maybe dingleberries are a signal telling you you should clean yourself?  If you shower enough depending of your physical activity in your daily life you wont have any dingleberries. If you have db it means you re not showering often enough.

Look no further, the idea comes from the influence of porn consumption. It's mainly an esthetical consideration. It's pure vanity.

It's about time mankind faces war conditions again.

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #13 on: November 18, 2011, 06:16:08 AM »
Maybe dingleberries are a signal telling you you should clean yourself?  If you shower enough depending of your physical activity in your daily life you wont have any dingleberries. If you have db it means you re not showering often enough.

Look no further, the idea comes from the influence of porn consumption. It's mainly an esthetical consideration. It's vanity.

It's about time mankind faces war conditions again.
shower morning and after training. so mostly 2 times/day

when you sometimes have messy shits you have yo wipe alot and paper gets stuck. then you have to shover after your shit. I'm sure your anatomy or hairs are no different to mine. But maybe you have solid shits that requires no wiping every single time?

(why am i debating dingleberries ?   ;D )

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #14 on: November 18, 2011, 06:20:06 AM »
the best solution really is one of those japanese toilets


Capitulation

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #15 on: November 18, 2011, 06:21:57 AM »
Maybe dingleberries are a signal telling you you should clean yourself?  If you shower enough depending of your physical activity in your daily life you wont have any dingleberries. If you have db it means you re not showering often enough.

Look no further, the idea comes from the influence of porn consumption. It's mainly an esthetical consideration. It's pure vanity.

It's about time mankind faces war conditions again.

Hmm not really - your acting like evolution is perfect even with simple examples of our bodies we can identify evolution is far from perfect with the human body. Being to hairy can have cleanliness implications in some shape or form. I know if my armpit hair is too long and not trimmed that i smell more after exercise.

Every society has different tastes and styles this is what we call the evolution of society. We now have a metro-sexual type society where many men want to be as fresh as possible - be it hair products, waxing eyebrows or shaving pubic hair.

In your example we could offer the case why did we circumcise - it was considered for cleanliness. Why did women prior to internet porn shave arm-pits - douse their pussy with perfume?? Why was being a pedo in ancient Greece acceptable - was it their porn consumption??

Society has shifted - you can't accept things to be the same as they once were - different variables cause different shifts in the psyche of the population - internet porn being one of them. Women are more dominant and more women have been left with the impression (via advertising and marketing) that hair on a men is not as attractive as it once was seen.

Either change with the times or become a dinosaur constantly complaining about why certain variables shifted the populations perceptions

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #16 on: November 18, 2011, 06:24:56 AM »
Also, what if you are out and about or at work and need a midday shit, and what if said shit is a stubborn fuckerrr from the kebab you had last night and makes cleaning up a lot more work. In this case we cant simply shower after as we have other priorities - fecal matter will be on that hair no matter what. Some of us have lives - after work you may go out, you may even have a date - where is time for shower in this case. Of course you will shower when you get home but you may get home at midnight.

Your points are really dumb uberman - i swear you are True Adonis gimmck.

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #17 on: November 18, 2011, 06:25:16 AM »
i shit and shower twice a week. I sometimes only shit once a week. And will shower thre or 4 times a week in hot summers when i play a lot of outdoor sports.

Last time i had db was three years ago during summer , was trekking for 5 days in the forest and had very poor living comodities. Walked a lot under intense heat all day long, wasnt able to shower ...


I guess it depends of the kind of job you have too. Physical jobs in hot environments where you move a lot might require you to shower more often, at any moment of the year.


Still, there is no valid point shaving ass hair , nor pubic hair either, other than for esthetical considerations ("to make my cock look bigger" as stated by thread starter, which itself says it all). I only see in this thread the proof occidental men start to have more and more feminine preocupations.


Natural Man

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #18 on: November 18, 2011, 06:29:43 AM »
Also, what if you are out and about or at work and need a midday shit, and what if said shit is a stubborn fuckerrr from the kebab you had last night and makes cleaning up a lot more work. In this case we cant simply shower after as we have other priorities - fecal matter will be on that hair no matter what. Some of us have lives - after work you may go out, you may even have a date - where is time for shower in this case. Of course you will shower when you get home but you may get home at midnight.

Your points are really dumb uberman - i swear you are True Adonis gimmck.
dont you have some pubic hair to shave to make your cock look bigger , einstein?

- NO HOMO - i already shave the pubes on my dick to make it look bigger -

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #19 on: November 18, 2011, 06:30:46 AM »
Why did i click on this thread? What good did i possibly think could come of it?
7

Natural Man

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #20 on: November 18, 2011, 06:32:00 AM »
why did i click on this thread. What good did i possibly think could come of it?
do blacks believe in a black God and black Jesus?

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #21 on: November 18, 2011, 06:34:41 AM »
why did i click on this thread. What good did i possibly think could come of it?

At least we got out before the pictures started.  I'm grabbing my passport right now.

Capitulation

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #22 on: November 18, 2011, 06:35:25 AM »
i shit and shower twice a week. I sometimes only shit once a week. And will shower thre or 4 times a week in hot summers when i play a lot of outdoor sports.

Last time i had db was three years ago during summer , was trekking for 5 days in the forest and had very poor living comodities. Walked a lot under intense heat all day long, wasnt able to shower ...


I guess it depends of the kind of job you have too. Physical jobs in hot environments where you move a lot might require you to shower more often, at any moment of the year.


Still, there is no valid point shaving ass hair , nor pubic hair either, other than for esthetical considerations ("to make my cock look bigger" as stated by thread starter, which itself says it all). I only see in this thread the proof occidental men start to have more and more feminine preocupations.



WTF is wrong with you - you are not normal nor is your shitting and showering habits normal. If you worked with me you would most likely be sent home due to your foul smell. Your perception of what is normal is so far off what science actually perceives as what is normal in human shitting habits. DAMN YOUR FREAKING WEIRD DUDE.

As for being aesthetically pleasing - well duh did you no read my post about society perception changing due to women more dominant role in society. Society is not static, it is always in a state of flux - people like you can't shift with the time well that's up-to you but this is the direction we are heading whether you like it or not. TA gimmick.

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #23 on: November 18, 2011, 06:36:47 AM »
Why did i click on this thread? What good did i possibly think could come of it?

As a smart black man - did you even read the story Wiggs, it was pretty well written and pretty damn funny. Maybe you might appreciate the humour when you read it.  ;D ;D

MAXX

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Re: ASS Hair - bodybuilding related
« Reply #24 on: November 18, 2011, 06:37:22 AM »
i shit and shower twice a week. I sometimes only shit once a week. And will shower thre or 4 times a week in hot summers when i play a lot of outdoor sports.

Last time i had db was three years ago during summer , was trekking for 5 days in the forest and had very poor living comodities. Walked a lot under intense heat all day long, wasnt able to shower ...


I guess it depends of the kind of job you have too. Physical jobs in hot environments where you move a lot might require you to shower more often, at any moment of the year.


Still, there is no valid point shaving ass hair , nor pubic hair either, other than for esthetical considerations ("to make my cock look bigger" as stated by thread starter, which itself says it all). I only see in this thread the proof occidental men start to have more and more feminine preocupations.


that's bullshit you're not an outdoorsy person. you're on getbig every single time I log in here  :D