Oh, yes, drama...
The Adventure.
Christmas, 1976. I was seven. Most years in Virginia, it would be too cold to go play outside on Christmas, but in 1976 it was pretty nice that day. We were all gathered at my grandparents' house...Grandaddy, Granny, their six kids and spouses, and (at the time) 11 of us grandchildren. Two of my older cousins, Ronnie and David, decided they would go out on an "adventure." They put on their jackets and prepared to go.
Naturally, a lot of the younger kids wanted to go on an "adventure" too. David and Ronnie told them to buzz off. So of course, most of them went screaming to the nearest adult they could find and tearfully lobbied that David and Ronnie be compelled to let them have an "adventure" as well.
During the heated discussion, my Aunt Darlene (Ronnie's mother) singled ME out, pointed her fat, cream-filled finger in MY face, and yelled, "Sometimes big kids want to be with kids their own age!" It was her other son Michael (Ronnie's younger brother...three months younger than I) who was screaming and crying the loudest. I wasn't even interested in going, and I hadn't said a word about it!!
The decision was made that David and Ronnie could go on their "adventure" alone. Once that was announced, most of the smaller kids threw fits and then cried themselves to sleep. I sat on the couch between my daddy and my grandaddy and watched football.
About an hour later, Grandaddy's neighbor came to the door and was dragging David and Ronnie forcefully benind him. It turned out that their "adventure" had been to go stomp on this guy's outdoor Christmas lights.
David's parents, to their credit, could see that David was guilty, and they spanked him right there in front of God and everybody. Aunt Darlene, however, actually said that she needed "proof" even though David's tearful confession as he got his beating implicated Ronnie.
It turns out that Grandaddy's neighbor had gotten one of those Polaroid "Instamatic" cameras for Christmas, and among his first pictures was one of David and Ronnie stomping on his outdoor Christmas lights. He handed the picture to Aunt Darlene. Grandaddy was looking over her shoulder.
Everyone looked at Aunt Darlene. She shouted, "Well, I don't believe in physical discipline!" Grandaddy then said, "Well, I do," and he took Ronnie to the back porch and administered the beating of a lifetime.
The End.
