As I reflect back on my childhood, it wasn't easy. I was weak and sickly; the target of bullies. Afraid of my own shadow, I was picked last for team sports. I was beaten up and stuffed into lockers.
Then one rainy Saturday afternoon I walked into the cinema and saw the movie Bloodsport. It was there in that moviehouse that I found hope. I sat transfixed, watching Jean-Claude's rippling muscles and stupendous Karate kicks. It was there that I found my calling. I didn't know much, but I knew two things that afternoon: I would become a bodybuilder, and I would become a black belt in Karate.
That night I was furiously curling a rusty old barbell I found at the town dump until I thought my arms would fall off. I enrolled at the dojo with my newspaper route money and began training in earnest.
As the months passed I looked forward to each new Van Damme release. Kickboxer, Lionheart, Death Warrant, Double Impact...With every movement Of Jean-Claude's taught, ripped physique I found reason to carry on. I felt like he was a personal friend; someone who cared about me deeply.
My own physique began to explode with muscles, and my Karate training forged me into a weapon. I began vanquishing my former tormentors with a calculated ferocity which was frightening. The hunted became the hunter. I wandered the ghettos late at night hoping to encounter street blacks who would try to rob me, so I could implement the moves I learned in the dojo and smash the muggers and gangbangers with these iron fists and these nitro glycerine feet.
One day I looked in the mirror and saw Jean-Claude Van Damme looking back. I had arrived. I had completely transformed myself into a thing of male beauty, backed with awesome martial skills which enabled me to maim, destroy, and punish at will.
I will always be grateful to Jean-Claude Van Damme as the inspiration for what I've become. I'll never forget that rainy Saturday in the cinema. Thank you Jean-Claude, you're my special friend.
