It takes a real man to wear a thong... while holding a bouquet of flowers! 
Seriously, has anyone ever given you flowers? What was the occasion?

Trophies, medals, swords, crowns, etc., I can see.
But, 240lbs. at 5% body fat, and all they can give him is flowers?
It's a bit insulting to award him something that will die before his liver & kidneys.