Author Topic: srs question....need advice (Read 7067 times)

dfresh · « **Reply #25 on:** March 11, 2012, 05:37:04 PM »

yea i dont want her to leave thats for sure, i know its not everyday a young guy gets into a relationship with a young girl with two kids, but when we're not fighting she makes me happy...obvious i know, but its the truth

im gonna look into counseling for the both of us, more so for me to learn to deal/cope with the little things that i blow way out of proportion

appreciate all the responses thus far, well most of them

SamsonD · « **Reply #26 on:** March 12, 2012, 09:43:22 AM »

Quote from: dfresh on March 11, 2012, 12:01:22 PM

well we talked about it and decided she is gonna move out i guess.... sucks cant say im happy at all right now, i guess you dont realize what you have until reality sets in and you realize whats really going on

this will be our 2nd time breaking up so maybe it just isnt meant to be idk

That sucks man, but at least you got shit out in the open. My girl and me have broken up twice and never looked back after the second time. Been together 11 years now. Sometimes being away is what you or both parties need sometimes to figure shit out.
Give it some time to sink in and analyze your life and priorites. Don't go rushing back right away, but don't take it completely off the table either. You guys can't get back together and split up again. For your sakes and the kids. So before you do, make sure both of you have all your shit worked out.

dfresh · « **Reply #27 on:** March 12, 2012, 09:55:14 AM »

Quote from: SamsonD on March 12, 2012, 09:43:22 AM

That sucks man, but at least you got shit out in the open. My girl and me have broken up twice and never looked back after the second time. Been together 11 years now. Sometimes being away is what you or both parties need sometimes to figure shit out.
Give it some time to sink in and analyze your life and priorites. Don't go rushing back right away, but don't take it completely off the table either. You guys can't get back together and split up again. For your sakes and the kids. So before you do, make sure both of you have all your shit worked out.

yea man we're just taking it day by day. i did call and set up an appointment for myself to talk to a counselor though.... gotta learn to deal with different situations better ya know

in the mean time im just gonna do my best to work things out

howardroark · « **Reply #28 on:** March 12, 2012, 09:57:39 AM »

If you're not happy, then maybe the problem is with you and not with her.

greeneyes · « **Reply #29 on:** March 12, 2012, 10:01:34 AM »

stay with her and don't raise those little fucker they'll grow and be like tito24 and that's not bad

dfresh · « **Reply #30 on:** March 12, 2012, 10:05:54 AM »

Quote from: howardroark on March 12, 2012, 09:57:39 AM

If you're not happy, then maybe the problem is with you and not with her.

yea i mean she makes me happy, and after really thinking about things it does seem it is a problem i have.... her having 2 kids doesnt have anything to do with me reacting the wrong way over little shit..thats something ive come to realize i have to work on/get fixed

dfresh · « **Reply #31 on:** March 12, 2012, 10:06:36 AM »

Quote from: greeneyes on March 12, 2012, 10:01:34 AM

stay with her and don't raise those little fucker they'll grow and be like tito24 and that's not bad

umm what lol?

newkid1985 · « **Reply #32 on:** March 12, 2012, 12:04:05 PM »

Hey bro me and my girl have been together for 6yrs. When we got together her child was 3months, i was 21 I had no interest in being a father but the girl was fine. She takes care of me cooks cleans you name it she does it for me. There have been ups and downs that part of a relationship you guys jus need to talk shit out with out fighting. Its hard at times but if you care about the girl you make sacrifices like it sounds she does for you. Her child is my partner in crime the little shit covers for me all the time.

dfresh · « **Reply #33 on:** March 12, 2012, 12:12:53 PM »

Quote from: newkid1985 on March 12, 2012, 12:04:05 PM

Hey bro me and my girl have been together for 6yrs. When we got together her child was 3months, i was 21 I had no interest in being a father but the girl was fine. She takes care of me cooks cleans you name it she does it for me. There have been ups and downs that part of a relationship you guys jus need to talk shit out with out fighting. Its hard at times but if you care about the girl you make sacrifices like it sounds she does for you. Her child is my partner in crime the little shit covers for me all the time.

yea same here bro i was almost 22 when we met. she has a 2 and 5 year old, but that isnt/shouldnt be the deciding factor in staying together in a relationship. we are taking things a day at a time, and it feels good to be on better terms now

newkid1985 · « **Reply #34 on:** March 12, 2012, 12:19:08 PM »

By no means think that you have to stay because of the kid its not yours, one thing that helped with my relationship is that we have a 1hr no talk time when we get home from work to just chill. And we make one day of the week our day send the kids to the sitter or family and we do nothing.

dfresh · « **Reply #35 on:** March 12, 2012, 12:28:05 PM »

Quote from: newkid1985 on March 12, 2012, 12:19:08 PM

By no means think that you have to stay because of the kid its not yours, one thing that helped with my relationship is that we have a 1hr no talk time when we get home from work to just chill. And we make one day of the week our day send the kids to the sitter or family and we do nothing.

no i meant the deciding factor that would push me away. and yea we usually have our time at night when kids are in bed

dfresh · « **Reply #36 on:** March 12, 2012, 12:29:27 PM »

but yea her dad has been taking the kids once a week which is nice

CAPTAIN INSANO · « **Reply #37 on:** March 12, 2012, 12:44:58 PM »

Baggage cmon Bro

YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU.

To each their own

good luck

Meso_z · « **Reply #38 on:** March 12, 2012, 12:57:52 PM »

Man, I wouldnt mess with a girl who has 2 kids with another guy.

no one · « **Reply #39 on:** March 12, 2012, 01:08:03 PM »

i know this is a serious thread so i'll ask a serious question in order to better determine how i'll answer your original query.

are you retarded?

wes · « **Reply #40 on:** March 12, 2012, 01:09:27 PM »

dfresh · « **Reply #41 on:** March 12, 2012, 01:14:22 PM »

Quote from: no one on March 12, 2012, 01:08:03 PM

i know this is a serious thread so i'll ask a serious question in order to better determine how i'll answer your original query.

are you retarded?

no

NeilGM · « **Reply #42 on:** March 12, 2012, 01:24:59 PM »

Been in this mental place with that many women I lost track. I will tell you the truth now... You will always feel this way about every single girl your with no matter how much you love her, how great or pretty she is, it will hit you atleast once with every single one of them.. Normally you move on and look for something that gives you that flame again and it repeats. The only time it will stop is when you learn to settle with what you got and she is of equal thought as well.
I been in this boat with women with kids also, to be honest I didn't like playing dad to someone elses kids so it was never going to work for me lol. I suggest you sit back, think about what you really want in a woman and a family and if you do not know the answer or don't want this at all then I suggest you stay single for a bit until you figure yourself out.
All you got to remember is every time you go from girl t girl you will role the dice, sometimes you get a better hand, sometimes you do not however there is a point when you roled so many times that it will cause a weight on your mind and you will have regrets at some point

dfresh · « **Reply #43 on:** March 12, 2012, 01:36:59 PM »

Quote from: NeilGM on March 12, 2012, 01:24:59 PM

Been in this mental place with that many women I lost track. I will tell you the truth now... You will always feel this way about every single girl your with no matter how much you love her, how great or pretty she is, it will hit you atleast once with every single one of them.. Normally you move on and look for something that gives you that flame again and it repeats. The only time it will stop is when you learn to settle with what you got and she is of equal thought as well.
I been in this boat with women with kids also, to be honest I didn't like playing dad to someone elses kids so it was never going to work for me lol. I suggest you sit back, think about what you really want in a woman and a family and if you do not know the answer or don't want this at all then I suggest you stay single for a bit until you figure yourself out.
All you got to remember is every time you go from girl t girl you will role the dice, sometimes you get a better hand, sometimes you do not however there is a point when you roled so many times that it will cause a weight on your mind and you will have regrets at some point

hey thanks for the insight man. yea today is a better day, we are taking it slowly and just letting things take their course

NeilGM · « **Reply #44 on:** March 12, 2012, 01:49:16 PM »

Yeah it a good way, just sit down and talk to her, what ever it is you feel you need to do aslong as its not going with other women etc just talk to her and see what happens. End of the day if it is ment to be you will both stick by one another even if you have things you want to do that put a strain on your relationship

no one · « **Reply #45 on:** March 12, 2012, 04:30:10 PM »

Quote from: dfresh on March 12, 2012, 01:14:22 PM

no

ok then.

well, then my adivse is if you have to come on a bodybuilding board and ask a bunch of idiots like us for relationship advise then she is not the one for you.

if she was the one for you come hell or high water you'd marry up that girl and be happier than a pig in shit about it. the questions you have in your own mind should be your first clue she is not the one. im sure shes great, but not the one.

dfresh · « **Reply #46 on:** March 18, 2012, 03:38:57 PM »

well we had another talk and i told her i am still willing to make things work, i just dunno if im ready for the whole family thing yet. i suggested us not living together anymore, but still working on things...just not under the same roof. this was a few hours ago, but after letting things settle and thinking them through im starting to rethink.

like most men i am stubborn/hardheaded and never really listened or did things she recommended. for instance i hardly ever hangout with my friends anymore. obviously its different not being single, but i can still go out and have fun.

she has told me to do this, and this is a reason she thinks im so stressed out and edgy all the time. she's right i mean my day consists of...work, gym, then coming home to her and her two children...which can be very stressful, especially for someone young like myself

idk if its because this is my first serious relationship or what, but i honestly dont feel like im ready to just be "done" right now.

so im gonna talk to her again tonight and let her know that i am in fact gonna start taking her advice and hanging out more with my friends. im sure this would make me a lot less stressed...sorry for the rant, had to get this off my chest... i already called and talked to my mother

SamsonD · « **Reply #47 on:** March 21, 2012, 07:01:40 PM »

Bro if she is actually encouraging you to hang with your friends that is awesome. Most women do not understand that men need to do that or have time away from the female.

dfresh · « **Reply #48 on:** March 21, 2012, 07:04:09 PM »

Quote from: SamsonD on March 21, 2012, 07:01:40 PM

Bro if she is actually encouraging you to hang with your friends that is awesome. Most women do not understand that men need to do that or have time away from the female.

i know man, i need to open my eyes up and stop being do hardheaded and stubborn. doing my best to correct things, thats for sure

chess315 · « **Reply #49 on:** March 21, 2012, 07:06:37 PM »

Quote from: NeilGM on March 12, 2012, 01:24:59 PM

Been in this mental place with that many women I lost track. I will tell you the truth now... You will always feel this way about every single girl your with no matter how much you love her, how great or pretty she is, it will hit you atleast once with every single one of them.. Normally you move on and look for something that gives you that flame again and it repeats. The only time it will stop is when you learn to settle with what you got and she is of equal thought as well.
I been in this boat with women with kids also, to be honest I didn't like playing dad to someone elses kids so it was never going to work for me lol. I suggest you sit back, think about what you really want in a woman and a family and if you do not know the answer or don't want this at all then I suggest you stay single for a bit until you figure yourself out.
All you got to remember is every time you go from girl t girl you will role the dice, sometimes you get a better hand, sometimes you do not however there is a point when you roled so many times that it will cause a weight on your mind and you will have regrets at some point

very quality post. I even feel the ones you regret losing if you where to get them back it would happen all over again though lol

Author Topic: srs question....need advice (Read 7067 times)

chess315