Author Topic: srs question....need advice (Read 7047 times)

dfresh · « **on:** March 09, 2012, 08:22:31 PM »

im thinking about breaking up with my gf, things just have not been good lately. we have been together a little over a year now, and just recently moved in together along with her two kids. idk if its the fact that im just not ready to "settle" down and do the family thing yet or what..(im 23, and shes 24 btw)

we took a little break last summer for about 2 months and decided to get back together...well it just doesnt seem like its working. i will admit i get mad over some stupid shit a lot, which is something ive been trying to fix.. but this in turn leads to arguments and both of us not being in a good mood for hours or sometimes days.

i mean shes a great girl...cooks for me, laundry, saves us shit tons of money with her couponing she does

....yet i am just not happy, at least not right now

what do i do? please keep the responses serious and on topic...i really need some help/advice here

makaveli25 · « **Reply #1 on:** March 09, 2012, 08:24:59 PM »

If she cooks for you clean for you does the laundry that's pretty nice man. Are you sexually attracted to her? It would be hard raising someone elses kids.

dfresh · « **Reply #2 on:** March 09, 2012, 08:27:27 PM »

yea i know bro she is great in terms of taking care of me...yes im sexually attracted to her, yea idk if im ready to do that yet...they are great kids man, but i just dont know

makaveli25 · « **Reply #3 on:** March 09, 2012, 08:31:38 PM »

Quote from: dfresh on March 09, 2012, 08:27:27 PM

yea i know bro she is great in terms of taking care of me...yes im sexually attracted to her, yea idk if im ready to do that yet...they are great kids man, but i just dont know

Sounds like a good girl. If you have a bad feeling about it though follow your gut.

Schmoff · « **Reply #4 on:** March 09, 2012, 08:32:58 PM »

a 24-year-old girl, but already has two kids?

I would say get rid of her ASAP!

Jaime · « **Reply #5 on:** March 09, 2012, 08:36:28 PM »

You have come to the right place bro. $:-\$

Two kids at 24, not my cup of tea...

The set up sounds nice enough but you obviously aren't that in to her otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question.

SamsonD · « **Reply #6 on:** March 09, 2012, 08:42:22 PM »

So it's hard to give advice over the internet because I don't know you or her, but here is what I think.
You may be getting cold feet because it's starting to get serious and she has the kids. You may not be ready for that. So I think you need to sit down and think about things and honestly assess where you are at in your life. Then sit down and talk to her. BE A MAN, don't just dump her and move out or whatever. Try to communicate with her and tell her straight up you are having doubts about continuing the relationship. Try and hash it out, and if it doesn't work it doesn't work. Everybody moves on.

I can tell you for certain though that if the doubts don't go away, or if you are certain you don't want to be with her then you got to get out. Too many people get sucked into black hole relationships.

dfresh · « **Reply #7 on:** March 09, 2012, 08:47:43 PM »

Quote from: SamsonD on March 09, 2012, 08:42:22 PM

So it's hard to give advice over the internet because I don't know you or her, but here is what I think.
You may be getting cold feet because it's starting to get serious and she has the kids. You may not be ready for that. So I think you need to sit down and think about things and honestly assess where you are at in your life. Then sit down and talk to her. BE A MAN, don't just dump her and move out or whatever. Try to communicate with her and tell her straight up you are having doubts about continuing the relationship. Try and hash it out, and if it doesn't work it doesn't work. Everybody moves on.

I can tell you for certain though that if the doubts don't go away, or if you are certain you don't want to be with her then you got to get out. Too many people get sucked into black hole relationships.

great post bro thank you. yea its tough man, im just trying to decide whats best for me in the long run...and of course i want whats best for her too

jon cole · « **Reply #8 on:** March 09, 2012, 08:56:13 PM »

seriously...

you're young, but life is too short, and you're too young to get on your shoulder a single 24 y.o mom with 2 kid, and you're too young to boogle your mind with difficult or awkward relationship.

just live the life of a 23 y.o guy, bang some chick if you want, start a serious relationship if you want, but don't loose time energy or mental health with complicated relation.

Spidey · « **Reply #9 on:** March 10, 2012, 01:47:48 AM »

Wait a few days to see if the Tren anxiety fades away and then make your decision

ChevChelios · « **Reply #10 on:** March 10, 2012, 01:56:36 AM »

wtf are you thinking,you want to settle down at 23 with a 24 year old mom which already has 2 kids?

If you are not happy and comfortable,that's because 23 is fucking nice age,wait until 30,settle down and make you OWN kids.

Btw,you still look like shit

Hope this helps

Papper · « **Reply #11 on:** March 10, 2012, 02:09:23 AM »

for a moment.. disregard that she cooks and cleans, disregard that she has kids, disregard that you fight. and just ask yourself: are you ready to spend your life with this woman?

i did this one time and i wasnt ready, and i think it is very unfair to go into a relationship with serious doubts. and if you continue to see her, bring up those problems and doubts so she is aware at least.

Borracho · « **Reply #12 on:** March 10, 2012, 05:57:18 AM »

I don't know if I would've gotten in a relationship with a chick with 2 kids at such a young age. I love kids but the fact of taking care of another man's children kinda fucks me up cause they usually have drama that you're gonna be stuck in between. I would say this is too big of a commitment for someone your age but having responsibilities can make us better people.

I don't know bro...this is a tough one. I usually say you're damned if you do, damned if you don't but in this case I'm swaying towards the you're damned if you do. $:-\$

dfresh · « **Reply #13 on:** March 10, 2012, 06:13:34 AM »

appreciate the feedback guys, lol at the "tren" anxiety and "i still look like shit" comments....not on tren...yet

well im gonna really think things over and decide if this is right for me, dont wanna just make a decision then regret it

dfresh · « **Reply #14 on:** March 11, 2012, 12:01:22 PM »

well we talked about it and decided she is gonna move out i guess.... sucks cant say im happy at all right now, i guess you dont realize what you have until reality sets in and you realize whats really going on

this will be our 2nd time breaking up so maybe it just isnt meant to be idk

Rearden Metal · « **Reply #15 on:** March 11, 2012, 12:50:11 PM »

Quote from: dfresh on March 11, 2012, 12:01:22 PM

well we talked about it and decided she is gonna move out i guess.... sucks cant say im happy at all right now, i guess you dont realize what you have until reality sets in and you realize whats really going on

this will be our 2nd time breaking up so maybe it just isnt meant to be idk

Sounds like you raised the questions and she immediately fled. Kinda puts it on her that she doesn't want to take a few days to talk through things with her. You did the right thing though.

Borracho · « **Reply #16 on:** March 11, 2012, 12:50:44 PM »

Quote from: dfresh on March 11, 2012, 12:01:22 PM

well we talked about it and decided she is gonna move out i guess.... sucks cant say im happy at all right now, i guess you dont realize what you have until reality sets in and you realize whats really going on

this will be our 2nd time breaking up so maybe it just isnt meant to be idk

If you get back together you know it'll be the same shit all over again. You have to make sure what it is that you really want and go on with your life.

Metabolic · « **Reply #17 on:** March 11, 2012, 01:00:09 PM »

stopped reading at "im 23"

dont fuck up your youth man

dfresh · « **Reply #18 on:** March 11, 2012, 01:39:15 PM »

@RM- she is definitely willing to talk things over, as we have been down this road before. things just dont seem to be getting better, i will admit though...I do have a problem with not knowing when to just let things go when we argue...i always have to get the last word in or whatever...probably my biggest flaw

@Bor- no doubt, but kids aside this is an amazing woman...to find time to take care of two kids, then cook, do laundry etc for me as well, thats something special i think

Meta- see above post

dr.chimps · « **Reply #19 on:** March 11, 2012, 01:41:40 PM »

You're 23, and she has two kids! Get the fark out, and don't look back. $:-\$

dfresh · « **Reply #20 on:** March 11, 2012, 01:47:09 PM »

Quote from: dr.chimps on March 11, 2012, 01:41:40 PM

You're 23, and she has two kids! Get the fark out, and don't look back. $:-\$

cmon man $:-\$

TacoBell · « **Reply #21 on:** March 11, 2012, 01:48:30 PM »

She's 24 with 2 kids

el numero uno · « **Reply #22 on:** March 11, 2012, 01:52:00 PM »

Post her pics

Henda · « **Reply #23 on:** March 11, 2012, 02:02:18 PM »

give it time man, things may work out.all relationships feel like the same old shit after a while and sometimes you have to get past it.
there was a time i felt the same as you,actually hated her guts at one point but things got better but took a long while, would have left if it wasnt for our 2 kids.
if it doesent work out dont sweat it id just relax and see what happens,make time for yourself then you will have the best of both worlds
sounds like a decent lass to me, i have friends with utter bags for lasses who wont even clean the house or cook for them

Princess L · « **Reply #24 on:** March 11, 2012, 02:32:05 PM »

Quote from: dfresh on March 11, 2012, 01:39:15 PM

@RM- she is definitely willing to talk things over, as we have been down this road before. things just dont seem to be getting better, i will admit though...I do have a problem with not knowing when to just let things go when we argue...i always have to get the last word in or whatever...probably my biggest flaw

@Bor- no doubt, but kids aside this is an amazing woman...to find time to take care of two kids, then cook, do laundry etc for me as well, thats something special i think

Meta- see above post

I feel sorry for her kids. She's not set a good example for them in a lot of aspects.

I think you did the right thing. If you're truly DONE, BE DONE, at least for the kids sake.