I'd like to know how it is that you know you have something that isn't even real. Shame.... esteem.... these are labels you've put on what are called feelings. Feelings are all the same. Just feelings. Some feel better or worse than others so we judge and put labels on them as to what they are.... but you must understand they're all the same. Words to describe feelings help us think that they're seperate. Shame guilt love self esteem... the whole game is all the same thing. If you feel something... it's just a feeling!
Imagine you see yourself standing in the middle of a room. Ask what do you see? Do you see shame? self esteem? No. These are just concepts developed by your mind. We have a tendency to build concepts of who we are and who others are. It's done mostly by constant judging. Better worse, tall, fat, handsome, ugly, and whatever else you may use to judge everything. When you judge others all the time, you'll come to assume everyone is judging you all the time. What you see in yourself is what you will see in other people. It's by your own understanding of yourself that you have low self esteem. Any fool will see his own foolishness. When you come to see yourself as nothing, you will realize everyone is that same nothing. And out of this nothignness you may become anything. Nothing is more ripe for creation than empty space. If you're stuck believing that you're a person that has low self esteem, you'll be that person all the time.
Your goal should be to live formless. Clear your mind and let it all come to you. If you feel nervous that's fine. Be nervous. It will pass. Your very effort to control your feelings and rise out of this low self esteem creates low self esteem. The more you want power, the more you can't have it. Why is that? If you had it you wouldn't want it. To want something abstract is to chase your own tail.
^^^ this, also accept your feelings, thoughts let them pass thru you, do not be scared of anything, for ex. some people I know would act fake all the time and it looks very sad... I see how they suffer deep inside, see how their souls are almost dead for ex. in question "are you tired? you look so tired and sad today" - most will answer "no, no I'm GOOD!! everything is perfect!!! What's up?" instead of being self and saying "yes I'm a bit sad and tired" just look straight into their eyes and say it how you feel. There's nothing wrong in that, you are saying truth, not complaining.
It's hard in the beginning but if you sorta practice that you will see how you change into better, "full/whole" individual. It is important to know that you are perfect already there's nothing wrong with you - you are who you are, and if you exist means there's a reason for that. you share your thoughts with others just like others share their thoughts with you, also you breath the same air that we all breath.
Just be yourself all the time and you will see how things will change into positive direction.
accept everything: people colors, behavior, gender, nationality, race, manners, looks, style, sex, interests, everything should be accepted by you because they exist for a reason just like you.
most important one - love yourself and share that love with others.
and there's one book which will open your mind it's called ""the book of Mirdad" it's the best book in the world so be careful
