I've been working out for 20yrs. At 5'7" got up to 195lbs and decently cut. Did a few natural shows between 17 and 21. Been training heavy duty since 1995: 3x a week, 45mins a workout - though now an hour since i'm doing ten mins of intense cardio (for me).
On a good week, i'm close to 190 though i don't see the same fullness from when i was 20. On a bad week when i miss a meal i'm down to low 180s and feel skinny as shit. My knees are done and can't squat heavy. Other joints are pretty good. I like training heavy, or intensely, all the time. It's the gym that serves as the place to get out all my stress. Doing fucking kettlebells bullshit wouldn't do it for me.
Anyways, though i'd like to be bigger, i can't find a reason to spend the money on food that i'd need to stay at and over 190lbs solely for the purpose of...nothing. I do enjoy being in great shape so as someone that competed before, my goal is to always look better than any average person that casually workouts. I want to look like Steve Sax would playing on a Sunday Beer League.
How do you dudes stay motivated if you're not employed in the fitness industry? What's your ideal size for your height?