i hate to sound like a dick but you already have 2 kids, its better he died as a baby than if he was actually old enough to have conscious thought/conversation, a life, ect...and you can always just have another one if you have to add another kid. frankly considering it was born with 'horrible defects', he was not intended by nature to live, and all keeping him alive would have done was ensure a life filled with torment and misery. sorry if this sounds cold.