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DKlent
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« on: June 29, 2012, 04:40:10 PM »

If anyone has any questions for a Buddhist, let me know. I am not someone who practices all tenants of Buddhism, but I may be able to help others understand the basics of Buddhism explained in an understandable way.

Does anyone have any sort of questions?
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DKlent
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« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2012, 04:50:51 PM »

The "Fat Buddha's" you see are not "The Buddha" but are a representation of Maitreya (a different Buddha), different from Buddha Gautama. The Fat Buddhas represent maitreya but are based on images of Budai, who is a Chinese kitchen God.

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DKlent
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« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2012, 04:53:19 PM »

1. How do you choose to explain the wonderful feeling that sometimes emerges from meditation?

Chemicals produce our feelings. Meditation produces positive feelings, as a side effect of meditation, because clearing the mind and focusing the mind produces pleasure chemicals. However, in meditation, focusing on this as a goal will only distract you from the real goal of meditation which is enlightenment (awakening).

2. How do you define 'Buddhism' and what is most fundamental for being Buddhist (e.g., it is most fundamental for being Christian that one have very particular beliefs about Jesus).

Buddhism is the practice, physical and mental, of "awakening". Simplest definition.

3. If scientific research were to contradict anything within Buddhism's description of reality, which would you accept?  

Reality. If it is proven that reality is a certain way, I must accept reality as that way.
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Butterbean
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« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2012, 08:21:15 AM »

If anyone has any questions for a Buddhist, let me know. I am not someone who practices all tenants of Buddhism, but I may be able to help others understand the basics of Buddhism explained in an understandable way.

Does anyone have any sort of questions?

Interesting!  Thank you.


1.  Who was "The Buddah" and when did he live?

2.  Doesn't Buddhism reject the notion of a God?

3.  Do people end up worshipping or praying to Buddah?
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DKlent
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« Reply #4 on: July 01, 2012, 09:56:15 AM »

Interesting!  Thank you.


1.  Who was "The Buddah" and when did he live?

The 'last' Buddha was a man named Siddhartha Gautama. He lived in India about 2,500 years ago. He was a Prince and belonged to the warrior class. Many Buddhas lived before him since anyone has potential to be a Buddha. The next Buddha, predicted, will be called "Maitreya". (Not a literal name, he/she could have any name)


2.  Doesn't Buddhism reject the notion of a God?

Yes. However in some modern sects of Buddhism there is a pantheon of Gods. Classical Buddhism rejected the idea of a God or Gods, but some types of Buddhism had been integrated with local pantheistic religions and so they merged.

I'm an Atheist.

3.  Do people end up worshipping or praying to Buddah?

Yes. This happens. It is not good though. Worshiping the Buddha misses the point. Like a finger pointing to the moon, focus on the finger and you'll miss the heavenly glory.
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andreisdaman
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« Reply #5 on: July 01, 2012, 11:20:02 AM »

I am a Buddhist as well..but I do not practice the religious aspect of Buddhism, just the psychological daily living aspect....Buddhism is cool because it keeps you out of trouble....by not being attached to things you don't have emotional outbursts or adverse reactions when things aren't going your way..you are able to remain calm and within yourself
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DKlent
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« Reply #6 on: July 01, 2012, 03:13:15 PM »

I am a Buddhist as well..but I do not practice the religious aspect of Buddhism, just the psychological daily living aspect....Buddhism is cool because it keeps you out of trouble....by not being attached to things you don't have emotional outbursts or adverse reactions when things aren't going your way..you are able to remain calm and within yourself

Buddhism is also a lot more than avoiding attachment. In Buddhism, daily cheap "pleasures" are discouraged as well. So, for instance for intense practitioners, Sex, Music, Dancing, Entertainment, Junkfood, Intoxicants and even scented cosmetics are discouraged because they foster attachment and Buddhism endorses a "higher" form of pleasure from "awareness" and the "Contemplative life" (so to say), which is said to surpass any other pleasures. Enlightenment, on the pleasure scale according to the Buddha, is about 4,000 times more satisfactory than even the most intense common pleasures above.
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andreisdaman
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« Reply #7 on: July 01, 2012, 04:36:16 PM »

Buddhism is also a lot more than avoiding attachment. In Buddhism, daily cheap "pleasures" are discouraged as well. So, for instance for intense practitioners, Sex, Music, Dancing, Entertainment, Junkfood, Intoxicants and even scented cosmetics are discouraged because they foster attachment and Buddhism endorses a "higher" form of pleasure from "awareness" and the "Contemplative life" (so to say), which is said to surpass any other pleasures. Enlightenment, on the pleasure scale according to the Buddha, is about 4,000 times more satisfactory than even the most intense common pleasures above.

I don't go to that extreme....I do all those things but in moderation.....I have lots of sex but without attachment....thats a way of taking care of my body and mind...but at the same time I haven't found that one woman for me yet....I don't let things get to me..I just stay relaxed and calm.....I read, contemplate.....I am not perfect but trying to get to perfection where nothing bothers me..(Nirvana)..I am on the WAY....

Have you read  the Dhammapada??
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DKlent
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« Reply #8 on: July 01, 2012, 07:58:43 PM »

I don't go to that extreme....I do all those things but in moderation.....I have lots of sex but without attachment....thats a way of taking care of my body and mind...but at the same time I haven't found that one woman for me yet....I don't let things get to me..I just stay relaxed and calm.....I read, contemplate.....I am not perfect but trying to get to perfection where nothing bothers me..(Nirvana)..I am on the WAY....

Have you read  the Dhammapada??

It doesn't work though. Saying "I have a lot of sex but without attachment" is sort of like saying "I go to the gym a lot but don't lift weights." Lay-Buddhists have sex, obviously, but Buddha himself discouraged unwholesome sexual activity. This means that the monks had no sex at all, and all other Buddhists were suggested to refrain from using sex as a pleasure.

Buddhism is about achieving a higher state of consciousness devoid of simple pleasures such as sex, junk food, partying, intoxication, etc. These are simple pleasures as they are easily achieved. It requires no challenge to achieve and it is not long lasting, but does provide long-term negative effects for the psyche.

Nirvana is NOT about being in a state where "nothing bothers you". I would suggest reading up on what enlightenment and nirvana is online.

I have read the Dhammapada.

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andreisdaman
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« Reply #9 on: July 01, 2012, 10:02:37 PM »

It doesn't work though. Saying "I have a lot of sex but without attachment" is sort of like saying "I go to the gym a lot but don't lift weights." Lay-Buddhists have sex, obviously, but Buddha himself discouraged unwholesome sexual activity. This means that the monks had no sex at all, and all other Buddhists were suggested to refrain from using sex as a pleasure.

Buddhism is about achieving a higher state of consciousness devoid of simple pleasures such as sex, junk food, partying, intoxication, etc. These are simple pleasures as they are easily achieved. It requires no challenge to achieve and it is not long lasting, but does provide long-term negative effects for the psyche.

Nirvana is NOT about being in a state where "nothing bothers you". I would suggest reading up on what enlightenment and nirvana is online.

I have read the Dhammapada.



I disagree with your analysis although it may be true for you.....and I blame myself somewhat because I was too lazy to explain myself fully so here goes....

When I said sex without attachment I characterized it wrongly.....I love sex..I'm not giving it up nor do I feel I should just to attain "enlightenment"....I can have a healthy sex life and be enlightened as well.....what I mean by not having attachment is that if the relationships don't work out I don't take it too hard or personal..I have had a few women that I wish things could have gotten more serious but women can be fickle and when they didn't work out I did not dwell on the negative feelings associated with a break-up...I stopped going  into relationships with expectations....and lets things run their course...its the "expectation" or attachment in other words, that would fuel the bad feelings later on....some men will actually kill the woman or themselves when a relationship doesn't work

I don't see how having no sex at all can be healthy for a man......both physically, emotionally, and mentally...I do try to be discerning and not jump on everything I see....just because the universe presents certain things to you doesn't mean you have to always partake....in terms of getting to Nirvana where nothing bothers you, what I mean is reaching that point in my life, due to practicing restraint and mindfulness, where I am no longer able to be angry at all, have thoughts of revenge at all, and maintain a nice blissful calm and secure peace of mind.....with no negative feelings, attitudes, etc....do I still have negative feelings toward people sometimes?..sure...do I still eat junk food?..sure..but I try to be mindful and not partake in these things too much....and hopefully, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, I will be able to slowly eliminate altogether those things...I am on "the way" so to speak..on the path to eventual total enlightenment..not perfect yet, but trying to get there  
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DKlent
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« Reply #10 on: July 02, 2012, 10:44:37 AM »

I disagree with your analysis although it may be true for you.....and I blame myself somewhat because I was too lazy to explain myself fully so here goes....

When I said sex without attachment I characterized it wrongly.....I love sex..I'm not giving it up nor do I feel I should just to attain "enlightenment"....I can have a healthy sex life and be enlightened as well.....what I mean by not having attachment is that if the relationships don't work out I don't take it too hard or personal..I have had a few women that I wish things could have gotten more serious but women can be fickle and when they didn't work out I did not dwell on the negative feelings associated with a break-up...I stopped going  into relationships with expectations....and lets things run their course...its the "expectation" or attachment in other words, that would fuel the bad feelings later on....some men will actually kill the woman or themselves when a relationship doesn't work

I don't see how having no sex at all can be healthy for a man......both physically, emotionally, and mentally...I do try to be discerning and not jump on everything I see....just because the universe presents certain things to you doesn't mean you have to always partake....in terms of getting to Nirvana where nothing bothers you, what I mean is reaching that point in my life, due to practicing restraint and mindfulness, where I am no longer able to be angry at all, have thoughts of revenge at all, and maintain a nice blissful calm and secure peace of mind.....with no negative feelings, attitudes, etc....do I still have negative feelings toward people sometimes?..sure...do I still eat junk food?..sure..but I try to be mindful and not partake in these things too much....and hopefully, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, I will be able to slowly eliminate altogether those things...I am on "the way" so to speak..on the path to eventual total enlightenment..not perfect yet, but trying to get there  


Ok. Let me ask you then:


1. What is Enlightenment? In your own words.

2. In what way are you a Buddhist?


Thanks.
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andreisdaman
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« Reply #11 on: July 02, 2012, 05:06:08 PM »


Ok. Let me ask you then:


1. What is Enlightenment? In your own words.

2. In what way are you a Buddhist?


Thanks.

I'm gonna bump your questions for later....need to think about this a little and I will answer tonight..thanks
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DKlent
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« Reply #12 on: July 02, 2012, 05:12:32 PM »

I'm gonna bump your questions for later....need to think about this a little and I will answer tonight..thanks

Cool. Also, Please refrain from googling information about what enlightenment is or how Buddhism is defined. I would like a straight answer from you personally. In your own words. Without influence from online websites or such.

Thanks.
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andreisdaman
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« Reply #13 on: July 02, 2012, 08:43:16 PM »

you got it.....I consider myself a Buddhist although many would not... as I have said, I practice Buddhism as a daily psychological way of living...I keep my emotions in check because making decisions while in any type of emotional state is unwise since you are not thinking rationally...even if you are full of elation at that point it is still not wise to make major life decisions....I stay calm, cool, and collected..I don't get angry and I try to look at things from an objective point instead of subjectively which again can get you into trouble....by doing the above I am able to stay focused on whats really important and on the big picture....

for me, enlightenment is being able to see the big picture and and the small picture as well....seeing things that others can't...most people can only relate to life by focusing on whats good for them in the moment...cursing out your supervisor for instance because it feels good and right in the moment...looking at the big picture, you would see that this type of behavior is detrimental..and can cost you respect and a promotion down the line....

Enlightenment means for me seeing that life is much too important to sweat the little things....I try to stay positive, and I am always thinking and analyzing situations and people....my mind is always working in that regard but I try to keep it as empty as possible..meaning I try to not be biased and to see things in a different light....as I said..I am on the path..the "way" so to speak....on my way to enlightenment or being a "sekka" as they say.....I don't bring attention to myself...people at work often comment that they don't even know I am at work...many say they feel really calm around me...I try to maintain self-control..as the Dhammapada says "a great warrior can conquer an army...but he who conquers himself is the greatest warrior of all"..I don't waste energy on negative thoughts which could lead to negative action...

at work I adhere to Buddhist practice....I never ever talk about my supervisor or gossip about co-workers because this can get you into trouble....I greet every co-worker when I get to work....because by not doing so, those who were not greeted will feel slighted and talk negatively about you feeling that you may feel you are better than others....i never steal..not even a paper clip or pen......I keep an orderly and organized desk...and I work at a job which gives service to others (social worker) as Buddhism says you should....due to not passing on gossip, my co-workers feel good about me and talk freely in front of me knowing I will not spread what I have heard....I want to feel good and have a clear mind and I want people to feel good about me as well...just to maintain a positive karma around me

finally, I don't argue with people..I make my point and then move on....if we remain in disagreement , then fine....I don't escalate arguments so that there is no physical confrontation although I will fight if I need to defend myself....I try not to desire things just for the sake of trying to acquire them since this can only bring pain and disappointment when you fail to attain them....I guess this is my definition of Buddhism for me....I don't believe that God is a sentient being sitting on a throne in heaven....just a form of energy that created us..we came from the stars and will one day return there......Enlightenment for me is someday reaching Nirvana..a sort of heaven on earth where nothing bothers you and you have no negative feelings, hatred, etc...you just live and let live..unlike others who grow old, become bitter, hate others, want revenge, etc.....

hope I answered your questions
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DKlent
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« Reply #14 on: July 02, 2012, 09:20:05 PM »

Buddhism is not simply defined as keeping your emotions in check, staying calm, cool and collected. This is just staying calm, cool and collected. It isn't Buddhism. While staying calm, cool and collected is one aspect of Buddhism, there is much much more to it than that. Simply being calm, cool and collected and using this to define yourself as a Buddhist is sort of like saying "I do not commit adultery and therefore I am a Christian." or "I take my trash out therefore I am a trash-man".

The same applies to enlightenment. Enlightenment is about seeing the big and small picture, staying positive, analyzing things, not wasting energy on negative thoughts, etc. These are aspects of enlightenment but they are also aspects of essentially any world-philosophy or religion.

Nirvana is not described in Buddhism as you describe it. Nirvana, in Buddhism in a strictly traditional sense, is a state of non-being. This, in other words, means a state of escaping the wheel of Karma (The wheel of life, I.E. death and rebirth). Nirvana isn't on earth and it isn't some other place like the Christian sense of heaven. Nirvana is the state of escaping Samsara, escaping the cycle. In Buddhism, traditional classical Buddhism, it is said that people are born and die and are reborn over and over again. This happens over and over until they achieve enlightenment. Once enlightenment is achieved, nirvana is achieved upon death and no more rebirths take place.

Do I believe in reincarnation? Not necessarily, as I subscribe to a more metaphorical interpretation of this doctrine but this is how it is described. Nirvana is separate from enlightenment in Buddhism.


Now, to answer the question of "What is Enlightenment?" This is a very complex issue that I don't have time to type up right now. Here are, however, some good reading sources on what "Enlightenment" means in a Buddhist context:

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/piyadassi/wheel001.html
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/wings/part2.html#part2-g
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/bodhi/arahantsbodhisattvas.html
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/study/perfections.html


A good read on Buddhism and Sex:
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/walshe/wheel225.html



Another question: How do you define Karma (or Kamma)?


Also, Do you eat meat? I'd presume that you do, so here is another good set of info on killing living beings:

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/dhp/dhp.10.budd.html
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/ptf/dhamma/sila/pancasila.html#precepts5
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andreisdaman
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« Reply #15 on: July 02, 2012, 09:32:28 PM »

Thank you for the links..I will read them tomorrow when I get the chance....my explanations may not be all-fulfilling to you but I explained it the best way I could without boring you or having to write three pages..LOL....Buddhism can be defines in many ways and as I have said, I do not practice the religious aspect....I cannot bring myself to believe in re-incarnation...and you say you don't either..does that mean you are not a true Buddhist??

I have to admit I do bend some of the tenets to make them more palatable to me......just as some catholics take birth control and consider themselves good catholics....since I do not believe in being enlightened in death then I try to reach it in life.......but I will read your links and give you feed back...do you practice Buddhism as it is?..or do you take shortcuts as well...Huh
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DKlent
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« Reply #16 on: July 02, 2012, 09:47:14 PM »

Thank you for the links..I will read them tomorrow when I get the chance....my explanations may not be all-fulfilling to you but I explained it the best way I could without boring you or having to write three pages..LOL....Buddhism can be defines in many ways and as I have said, I do not practice the religious aspect....I cannot bring myself to believe in re-incarnation...and you say you don't either..does that mean you are not a true Buddhist??

I have to admit I do bend some of the tenets to make them more palatable to me......just as some catholics take birth control and consider themselves good catholics....since I do not believe in being enlightened in death then I try to reach it in life.......but I will read your links and give you feed back...do you practice Buddhism as it is?..or do you take shortcuts as well...Huh


I practice Buddhism by interpreting it in a way that makes sense to me. I usually stick to Buddhism as the Buddha himself taught it, Siddhartha Gautama as conveyed in the Pali canon and the Dammapada. I make an effort to abstain from sexual craving, I am a vegetarian, I work towards abolishing craving and desire and attachment, I meditate daily.


More questions:

Do you believe in Anatta? (You'll have to google that)



Here is a good story in the Buddhist canon about a prostitute and a Monk. It conveys the point behind refraining from sexual misconduct and craving in Buddhism.


Quote
Buddha was staying in Vaishali, where Amrapali lived. Amrapali was a prostitute. In Buddha's time, in this country, it was a convention that the most beautiful woman of any city will not be allowed to get married to any one person, because that will create unnecessary jealousy, conflict, fighting. So the most beautiful woman had to become nagarvadhu the wife of the whole town.

It was not disrespectable at all; on the contrary, just as in the contemporary world we declare beautiful women as "the woman of the year", they were very much respected. They were not ordinary prostitutes. Their function was that of a prostitute, but they were only visited by the very rich, or the kings, or the princes, generals -- the highest strata of society.

Amrapali was very beautiful. One day she was standing on her terrace and she saw a young Buddhist monk. She had never fallen in love with anybody, although every day she had to pretend to be a great lover to this king, to that king, to this rich man, to that general. But she fell suddenly in love with the man, a Buddhist monk who had nothing, just a begging bowl --a young man, but of a tremendous presence, awareness, grace. The way he was walking ...

She rushed down, she asked the monk, "Please -- today accept my food."
Other monks were also coming behind him, because whenever Buddha was moving anywhere, ten thousand monks were always moving with him. The other monks could not believe this. They were jealous and angry and feeling all human qualities and frailties as they saw the young man enter the palace of Amrapali.

Amrapali told him, "After three days the rainy season is going to start ..." Buddhist monks don't move for four months when it is the rainy season. Those are the four months they stay in one place; for eight months they continuously move, they can't stay more than three days in one place.

It is a strange psychology, if you have watched yourself ... You can watch it: to be attached to some place it takes you at least four days. For example, for the first day in a new house you may not be able to sleep, the second day it will be little easier, the third day it will be even easier, and the fourth day you will be able to sleep perfectly at home. So before that, if you are a Buddhist monk, you have to leave.

Amrapali said, "After just three days the rainy season is to begin, and I invite you to stay in my house for the four months". The young monk said, "I will ask my master. If he allows me, I will come." As he went out there was a crowd of monks standing, asking him what had happened. He said, "I have taken my meal, and the woman has asked me to stay the four months of the rainy season in her palace. I told her that I will ask my master."

People were really angry -- one day was already too much; but four months continuously ...! They rushed towards Gautam Buddha. Before the young man could reach the assembly, there were hundreds standing up and telling Gautam Buddha, "This man has to be stopped. That woman is a prostitute, and a monk staying four months in a prostitute's house ..."

Buddha said, "You keep quiet! Let him come. He has not agreed to stay; he has agreed only if I allow him. Let him come." The young monk came, touched the feet of Buddha and told the whole story, "The woman is a prostitute, a famous prostitute, Amrapali. She has asked me to stay for four months in her house. Every monk will be staying somewhere, in somebody's house, for the four months. I have told her that I will ask my master, so I am here ... whatever you say."

Buddha looked into his eyes and said, "You can stay." It was a shock. Ten thousand monks ... There was great silence, but great anger, great jealousy. They could not believe that Buddha has allowed a monk to stay in a prostitute's house. After three days the young man left to stay with Amrapali, and the monks every day started bringing gossips, "The whole city is agog. There is only one talk -- that a Buddhist monk is staying with Amrapali for four months continuously."

Buddha said, "You should keep silent. Four months will pass and I trust my monk. I have looked into his eyes -- there was no desire. If I had said no, he would not have felt anything. I said yes ... he simply went. And I trust in my monk, in his awareness, in his meditation. "Why are you getting so agitated and worried? If my monk's meditation is deep then he will change Amrapali, and if his meditation is not deep then Amrapali may change him. It is now a question between meditation and a biological attraction. Just wait for four months. I trust my young man. He has been doing perfectly well and I have every certainty he will come out of this fire test absolutely victorious."

Nobody believed Gautam Buddha. His own disciples thought, "He is trusting too much. The man is too young; he is too fresh and Amrapali is much too beautiful. He is taking an unnecessary risk." But there was nothing else to do.

After four months the young man came, touched Buddha's feet -- and following him was Amrapali, dressed as a Buddhist nun. She touched Buddha's feet and she said, "I tried my best to seduce your monk, but he seduced me. He convinced me by his presence and awareness that the real life is at your feet. I want to give all my possessions to the commune of your monks."

She had a very beautiful garden and a beautiful palace. She said, "You can make it a place where ten thousand monks can stay in any rainy season." And Buddha said to the assembly, "Now, are you satisfied or not?"

If meditation is deep, if awareness is clear, nothing can disturb it. Then everything is ephemeral. Amrapali became one of the enlightened women among Buddha's disciples.
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andreisdaman
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« Reply #17 on: July 02, 2012, 10:46:09 PM »


I practice Buddhism by interpreting it in a way that makes sense to me. I usually stick to Buddhism as the Buddha himself taught it, Siddhartha Gautama as conveyed in the Pali canon and the Dammapada. I make an effort to abstain from sexual craving, I am a vegetarian, I work towards abolishing craving and desire and attachment, I meditate daily.


More questions:

Do you believe in Anatta? (You'll have to google that)



Here is a good story in the Buddhist canon about a prostitute and a Monk. It conveys the point behind refraining from sexual misconduct and craving in Buddhism.



very nice story.....I understand the meaning of the story but I disagree with it......I personally would see nothing wrong with the Monk having sex with the prostitute.....again..I feel that sex for a man is part of his emotional, physical and mental well being......after having sex with a woman I feel wanted....I feel needed....I feel loved and rejuvenated....I see nothing wrong with it...I myself try to limit my sexuality by not masturbating..saving my sexuality for when it counts and means something....I see constant masturbation as a depletion of energy......and by depleting energy, you don';t have the drive necessary to pursue women or the other things you nee to accomplish in life...I crave sex but try not to be weak about it and give in to temporary pleasures..I try not to be attached to to things or sex..I'm not perfect and have given in to some crass desires but I am mindful afterwards that I have made a mistake and I keep trying to prevent hose mistakes from re-occurring and I move forward..I meditate when I feel negative feeling building inside

I am glad to see you practice Buddhism in a way which makes sense to you....I don't think it necessary or ideal to practice Buddhism in the classic sense since we must adapt to the modern way of living....Nirvana means different things to different people....for instance..Nirvana for me is a heaven on earth so to speak,,,,I would be living a nice fulfilling life with health and vigor...with stable mental health and no animosities toward people or toward life.....just existing in a state of comfort, bliss, and tranquility...waking up every day, with no burdens of life and not being burdened by others....I would read...exercise..make love to my partner...breathe fresh air...learn more about life and further enrich and enlighten myself so I can teach others wisdom and pass on in peace....

I will look up Anatta and report back to you
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DKlent
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« Reply #18 on: July 02, 2012, 11:00:40 PM »

You seem to be missing the point of what Buddhism is and how it works, and has always worked. The Monk having sex with the prostitute would have been him giving in to his sensual urges, in fact even having sensual urges would have been a form of "giving in" and losing his focus of meditation. The story was a success of the monk because he overpowered the world of "sensual pleasure" and instead utilized his superior pleasure of awakening and mental focus. This is a different kind of pleasure which is much much harder to accomplish but much much more fulfilling.

The problem with using sex as a means of "feeling wanted and needed" is that this is a weakness because it is a craving (against Buddhist practices) and it is a need (against buddhist practices). This is bad because true security and love comes from within, not from outside. If you need a woman to feel wanted and needed then you are lacking something of your own, which isn't good.  Wanting sex to feel wanted and needed and desired is an attachment in itself. You are attached to this need and this desire for a sense of being desired or wanted.

My suggestion for you would be to do a lot of research into what Buddhism is and how it works and Buddhist philosophy. After that perhaps you may want to re-define yourself as something beside Buddhist. For the most part, your practices are not really Buddhist but just 'modern' and progressive and normal.
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andreisdaman
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« Reply #19 on: July 03, 2012, 08:22:34 PM »

You seem to be missing the point of what Buddhism is and how it works, and has always worked. The Monk having sex with the prostitute would have been him giving in to his sensual urges, in fact even having sensual urges would have been a form of "giving in" and losing his focus of meditation. The story was a success of the monk because he overpowered the world of "sensual pleasure" and instead utilized his superior pleasure of awakening and mental focus. This is a different kind of pleasure which is much much harder to accomplish but much much more fulfilling.

The problem with using sex as a means of "feeling wanted and needed" is that this is a weakness because it is a craving (against Buddhist practices) and it is a need (against buddhist practices). This is bad because true security and love comes from within, not from outside. If you need a woman to feel wanted and needed then you are lacking something of your own, which isn't good.  Wanting sex to feel wanted and needed and desired is an attachment in itself. You are attached to this need and this desire for a sense of being desired or wanted.

My suggestion for you would be to do a lot of research into what Buddhism is and how it works and Buddhist philosophy. After that perhaps you may want to re-define yourself as something beside Buddhist. For the most part, your practices are not really Buddhist but just 'modern' and progressive and normal.

again you are really taking me way too literally.....I don't need sex to feel wanted and needed....I feel good about myself already...but there is nothing wrong with experiencing a woman wanting you and having that feeling of being wanted...its an awesome feeling...and I'm not attached to the feeling...I like it but I am self -secure already...you seem to be saying that we as Bhuddists must give up all that is desirous...I don't believe that....there is nothing wrong with giving in to sensual urges as you put it....you talk as if sexual urges are wrong.....I don't believe Buddhists need to detach themselves totally from the outside world or from outside pleasures.....I guess you NEVER have sex and that works for you......but it doesn't for me...I see nothing wrong with having sex and even desiring sex....I draw the line when sex becomes an obsession...or becomes detrimental in that you want to screw everything that moves and your life is guided by sex and the pursuit of it....Detachment can have its disadvantages I have found...you have to strike a balance....

it was easy to be a true Buddhists hundreds of years ago..they had nothing to do anyway..LOL
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DKlent
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« Reply #20 on: July 03, 2012, 09:49:31 PM »

again you are really taking me way too literally.....I don't need sex to feel wanted and needed....I feel good about myself already...but there is nothing wrong with experiencing a woman wanting you and having that feeling of being wanted...its an awesome feeling...and I'm not attached to the feeling...I like it but I am self -secure already...you seem to be saying that we as Bhuddists must give up all that is desirous...I don't believe that....there is nothing wrong with giving in to sensual urges as you put it....you talk as if sexual urges are wrong.....I don't believe Buddhists need to detach themselves totally from the outside world or from outside pleasures.....I guess you NEVER have sex and that works for you......but it doesn't for me...I see nothing wrong with having sex and even desiring sex....I draw the line when sex becomes an obsession...or becomes detrimental in that you want to screw everything that moves and your life is guided by sex and the pursuit of it....Detachment can have its disadvantages I have found...you have to strike a balance....

it was easy to be a true Buddhists hundreds of years ago..they had nothing to do anyway..LOL


I see. So, how do you consider yourself a Buddhist if you disagree with the basic tenants of Buddhism? You disagree with most of what the Buddha himself taught, but you consider yourself a "Buddhist"? Why is this?
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andreisdaman
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« Reply #21 on: July 03, 2012, 10:38:01 PM »


I see. So, how do you consider yourself a Buddhist if you disagree with the basic tenants of Buddhism? You disagree with most of what the Buddha himself taught, but you consider yourself a "Buddhist"? Why is this?

well...again..I consider myself to be a Buddhist due to practicing mindfulness, meditating, and seeking to be better than I am now...I am not perfect nor should Buddhists be perfect when they are starting out..perfection or Nirvana comes later on...after almost a lifetime of study and mindfulness and detachment....I am on the path..on "The Way" as they put it....I am seeking to get better day by day, week by week, year by year....I have some things to work on as do all people....but I am consciously trying to get there, as opposed to those who do not contemplate or practice mindfulness....

I do not totally disagree with the tenets of Buddhism..I just am not ready to follow and practice all aspects of Buddhism yet...but this is why we are on the path right?...to eventually get there right?..I have only been practicing for three years......I have time..I don't believe that nay faith should be followed blindly....I do have some skepticism about certain aspects of Buddhism....a healthy skepticism.....

why do you consider yourself a Buddhist???
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DKlent
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« Reply #22 on: July 04, 2012, 12:10:30 PM »

well...again..I consider myself to be a Buddhist due to practicing mindfulness, meditating, and seeking to be better than I am now...I am not perfect nor should Buddhists be perfect when they are starting out..perfection or Nirvana comes later on...after almost a lifetime of study and mindfulness and detachment....I am on the path..on "The Way" as they put it....I am seeking to get better day by day, week by week, year by year....I have some things to work on as do all people....but I am consciously trying to get there, as opposed to those who do not contemplate or practice mindfulness....

I do not totally disagree with the tenets of Buddhism..I just am not ready to follow and practice all aspects of Buddhism yet...but this is why we are on the path right?...to eventually get there right?..I have only been practicing for three years......I have time..I don't believe that nay faith should be followed blindly....I do have some skepticism about certain aspects of Buddhism....a healthy skepticism.....

why do you consider yourself a Buddhist???

So, just to be clear, you redefine what "Buddhism" means, redefine what "enlightenment" means, disagree with what the Buddha himself taught, disagree with basic Buddhist practices, and only conform to specific Buddhist practices which are shared by many world religions and/or philosophies but still consider yourself a "Buddhist"? Hmm..

No one expects Buddhist to practice all of the practices of Buddhist to the tee, but working towards them is always the goal. You don't even agree that the practices of Buddhism, such as avoiding bodily pleasures like sex, are legitimate or to be pursued. Few Buddhist are celibate, but what conventional Buddhists have in common is "pursuing" this ideal of refraining from bodily pleasure in order to enhance and emphasize mindfulness and achieve enlightenment.


I consider myself a Buddhist because I work towards Enlightenment by following Buddhist teachings. I do not adhere to every Buddhist doctrine, especially those common among the Sangha or monks, but I do work towards that as a "goal". I agree with them. If I didn't see them as an ideal goal, I wouldn't call myself a Buddhist.
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andreisdaman
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« Reply #23 on: July 04, 2012, 10:38:45 PM »

So, just to be clear, you redefine what "Buddhism" means, redefine what "enlightenment" means, disagree with what the Buddha himself taught, disagree with basic Buddhist practices, and only conform to specific Buddhist practices which are shared by many world religions and/or philosophies but still consider yourself a "Buddhist"? Hmm..

No one expects Buddhist to practice all of the practices of Buddhist to the tee, but working towards them is always the goal. You don't even agree that the practices of Buddhism, such as avoiding bodily pleasures like sex, are legitimate or to be pursued. Few Buddhist are celibate, but what conventional Buddhists have in common is "pursuing" this ideal of refraining from bodily pleasure in order to enhance and emphasize mindfulness and achieve enlightenment.


I consider myself a Buddhist because I work towards Enlightenment by following Buddhist teachings. I do not adhere to every Buddhist doctrine, especially those common among the Sangha or monks, but I do work towards that as a "goal". I agree with them. If I didn't see them as an ideal goal, I wouldn't call myself a Buddhist.

Dude..I know you mean well...but you are basically saying the same thing that i have been saying throughout this thread.....if you reread the thread you will see that you have basically repeated what I have said.....just as you, I have stated that I am not perfect and working toward Enlightenment..you said the same thing....just as you, I stated that I am active in having a sex life but I try my best to forego sexual pleasure as much as I can (hence I stated I do not masturbate and save sex for special moments)...as you said, I have said that I do not practice all aspects of Buddhism....you too have redefined enlightenment since you said you do not believe in reincarnation (like me)....therefore you cannot possibly believe that enlightenment can be reached in death....as I do....therefore it must be sought in life


you and I are so much alike its laughable....but yet you put me down and say I am not a true Buddhist???
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Roger Bacon
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« Reply #24 on: July 04, 2012, 10:45:53 PM »

If anyone has any questions for a Buddhist, let me know. I am not someone who practices all tenants of Buddhism, but I may be able to help others understand the basics of Buddhism explained in an understandable way.

Does anyone have any sort of questions?

Maybe you're not such a bad guy after all...  Cool
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